3 tips for when things do not go as planned | Sheer maxi dress

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

*Scary movie voice* WAZZZUUUUUP????

RISE AND SHINE, FASHIONABLE HUMANS! It is Wednesday and you are already killing this week and the weekend is near and life is just great. Right? Oh, and I am wearing sheer clothes today, but I have a (flimsy) reason, explained below.

This quick midweek post is about what we can do when life kicks us in the shins and forcefully reminds us that we do not have control over much. We all have those few projects in our life we planned for incessantly, only to have them go completely sideways. As I type this, I can actually think of no less than three examples in the past few months; as a matter of fact, this dress is an (itsy bitsy and trivial) example of a plan that did NOT work out, and I’ll chat about that below.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.comWhat I am wearing: Boohoo sheer dress here, Amazon shorts here, Steve Madden sandals: similar here; Pillow here, rose gold color

So what do you do when things go to complete shit?

One: Calm the fuck down and analyze the situation.

Okay; so things are not going our way. At the first signs of failure, it is easy to panic and let the mind descend into chaos. I always urge myself to take a giant step back and detach my heart from my emotions, even just for a minute (maybe by going for a walk or taking a shower), so I may objectively assess whether the new developments are really THAT terrible.

  • Could we still have a similar outcome, just via a different route?
  • What do the unforeseen hurdles mean for us, and what are our odds of jumping over them?
  • Did the project really benefit us that much, or is the failure a blessing in disguise?

These little questions often help me breathe through setbacks and avoid reacting emotionally. Cool head, people.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Two: Take responsibility for our actions.

More often than not, plans fail because of our own lack of foresight, no matter how prepared we think we are. That’s fine; we make mistakes and learn from them. The key thing here is to actually acknowledge said errors, as there’s no point in making the same ones several times because we are too proud to admit that we screwed up. So while it feels like crap, it is necessary to truly understand the role we play in the demise of our own plans and vow to do better.

  • Could we have started work earlier on that project?
  • Did we trust the wrong people to help us, or did we let the wrong people into our circle?
  • Should we have done better research?
  • Could we have analyzed the situation better? Did we tweak it to fit our own narrative, and are now upset that reality is smacking some sense into us?

Being open to admitting our own wrongdoings is liberating because it helps us get out of our own way. I am guilty of often skipping this step when things go awry, but history has shown me that ignoring my own responsibility in my failures is like refusing to acknowledge that I gain weight when I eat candy- while blaming everyone else for my muffin top. 🙄

That said though, sometimes there is just nothing we could have done better. Things fail for no reason every once in a while, and that is perfectly okay. In those cases, it is necessary to mourn a bit, maybe mope for a couple of days, pray if religious, but eventually reach a point where we are at peace with the situation, accept the new reality and are able to see a way forward.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Three: Determine the new course of action and move on; REALLY move on.

Okay, so we’re done crying/ determining how terrible the setback is/ realizing we ain’t shit because we did contribute to the issue/ being upset at the whole world because we couldn’t even have avoided it/ etc. Awesome; now what?

Well- now we move forward while remembering the lessons, and we try to turn the situation around, somewhat salvage it or just call it a loss and move on. It could mean a lot of work, a loss of revenue or even a lost relationship, but hey- things happen.

  • Can we still work hard in that class and get an overall A even after that C or D?
  • Can we still be with that person after we gave them chance after chance after chance, only for them to keep disappointing us?
  • Can we still move to that city we love, even after the job or housing prospect fell through?

Answering those questions can be hard, but working through them is necessary to find a new way to march towards our goals or to create new ones.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

On to today’s frock:

I first saw this sheer dress on Ashleigh from @thedaileigh. She rocked the white version of it, and it looked stunning on her. I was like: “I can totally pull this off” and ordered it (it helped that Boohoo had a 50% off sale). I was super happy with myself and could not wait to get it.

It came and… was waaaay more revealing than I could handle. I actually saw the pics on the website and they are pretty accurate as far as how sheer it is, so I do even not know what the heck I was expecting. Brain fart.

I received the dress the day of this shoot and ended up wearing it as a top, but upon coming home I immediately bought a pair of mini shorts on Amazon to wear with it. Because NO MA’ AM. If that had not worked, I would have sent it back.

I have only worn it for shoots so far, but I like it and would wear it during a warm vacation. I feel like the sheer tulle is not friends with high heels (they get caught in it), but the bust is opaque and comfortable. It is also a VERY long dress. I’m wearing the size L here (I always get a L in maxis because of my height, I’m 5″11) and it still drags on the floor, even with my 4-inch heels. My only gripe is the stitches on the chest, which are very unattractive to me. Boohoo and eShaki need to be friends, as they all love torpedo boobs.

Side note: Boohoo is having a 70% off sale right now (at least they did yesterday when I was writing this) and the white version of this dress is currently $14. If you have a vacation coming or just like the dress, it’s not a bad buy.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Well- that’s all folks! Thanks as usual for stopping by, and share below what you do when life takes a strange turn!

Until next time,


P.S. This look was photographed by @Tracey_Mammolito in my office. I love her work.


54 thoughts on “3 tips for when things do not go as planned | Sheer maxi dress”

  1. This is GREAT! Thank-you for reminding me to “One: Calm the fuck down and analyze the situation.” We do tend to exaggerate in situations but if we calm down, like you suggested, we can survey the damage and act more wisely to repair it. Love this!

    1. Thank you Sandra! We all tend to react emotionally to things, when sometimes just a little thought is needed to move into the right direction. ♥️

  2. Okay for 1- You look stunning in this outfit. And 2- I couldn’t agree more with this post. Sometimes we all get so caught up in the moment and can’t let things go. But looking at the bigger picture can really snap you out of it and eventually calm you down.

    1. Thank you Britt! You nailed it- bigger picture. It helps in grounding me even in the worst times! ♥️

    1. I know right? It’s uncomfortable but it’s worth taking that step. Thank you for stopping by!

  3. This is such a hilarious and very true post! Love the tips and that sheer maxi dress looks amazing on you!

  4. First up, I agree with everything that you say about taking responsibility when things go wrong… and second, you rock that sheer maxi girl! Looking great 🙂

  5. Great practical tips especially when you let your emotions get the best of you. Most times the very thing we panic over is not as scary once we calm down and look at it objectively. Great post!

  6. Photos giving me LIFE! And yea to calming TF down. LOL. There’s always a moment to be flustered. But spending energy on things we can’t change is a waste. And you only really realize it when it’s too late if you don’t practice to think that way from the beginning.

  7. OKAY so a few things. These photos are STUNNING. Seriously, you were made for the camera! I love this dress too. I have a major thing for sheer maxi dresses – it’s the most perfect juxtaposition. Also, STEP ONE can do wonders! It’s amazing what happens when you clear your head ad just calm it down. Happy Friday girl!! x Shannon || http://www.champagneatshannons.com

    1. Thank you for such a kind comment Shannon! Really appreciate you taking the time to comment, and I really appreciate the great feedback!

  8. I found comfort in this blog. I’m a beat myself up over everything person and I’m trying to teach myself that some things are just out of my control!! I also have this dress from boohoo lol I’m only 5’2 so you could imagine how much it was dragging on me. It was extremely revealing but I wore it to CurlFest where it was kinda fitting.

    1. How was Curlfest though??? I really want to go and ditch the weave for a few days!!! And OMG you must have been trailing like a bride lol that’s a LONG dress.
      On another note, stop beating yourself up. If you made no mistakes, how would you learn, right? Thanks so much for stopping by BTW- much appreciated!

  9. Girl you are definitely working the hell outta this dress! It’s so pretty! And you’ve read spoken the truth: as an entrepreneur (and perfectionist) doing these simple things can seem harder than they really are. It’s important to keep looking at things with logic and rational and not let our emotions get in the way!

    1. Thank you so much sis! Emotions are such liars sometimes, or maybe I should say they they push us to see everything with hyperbolic lenses 😄
      Congrats on working for yourself and I wish you all the best in your venture!

  10. Part of me wants to do nothing but talk about your tips, which are awesome so thanks a ton for that. Especially the reminder that I need to chill the heck out at the start of it all, but can I really focus on that dress and your gorgeous skin?? OMG girl you are just too pretty and that dress and its sheerness is gorgeous on you. Basically, I love everything on this page =]

    Danielle | FollowMyGut.com <3

    1. Thank you so much Danielle! You have me blushing over here! 😊 I really appreciate you stopping by, and thank you for the great feedback and kind comment!

    1. Thank you for stopping by Vanessa! And yep- that’s a thing we all need to work on, I promise! ♥️

    1. Thanks so much Shannon, and sorry I missed your comment for a week OMG! I appreciate you stopping by!

  11. What a beautiful dress! You look gorgeous in it. Also loving your tips, especially the second one. It’s so easy to blame others when things don’t go our way but so much better if we just take responsibility! Such a great post!

  12. “Did the project really benefit us that much, or is the failure a blessing in disguise?”

    This is a wonderful piece of advice. I like the way you tied your personal experience into the narrative about your outfit. 🙂


  13. I have such a hard time not immediately jumping overboard when something doesn’t go as planned. Then I internalize and put all the blame and pressure on myself. I’m working on not taking things so personally and realize it isn’t what I am doing that’s wrong, it’s just not what is wanted/needed at the moment and that is ok.

Drop me a line!