*Scary movie voice* WAZZZUUUUUP????
RISE AND SHINE, FASHIONABLE HUMANS! It is Wednesday and you are already killing this week and the weekend is near and life is just great. Right? Oh, and I am wearing sheer clothes today, but I have a (flimsy) reason, explained below.
This quick midweek post is about what we can do when life kicks us in the shins and forcefully reminds us that we do not have control over much. We all have those few projects in our life we planned for incessantly, only to have them go completely sideways. As I type this, I can actually think of no less than three examples in the past few months; as a matter of fact, this dress is an (itsy bitsy and trivial) example of a plan that did NOT work out, and I’ll chat about that below.
What I am wearing: Boohoo sheer dress here, Amazon shorts here, Steve Madden sandals: similar here; Pillow here, rose gold color
So what do you do when things go to complete shit?
One: Calm the fuck down and analyze the situation.
Okay; so things are not going our way. At the first signs of failure, it is easy to panic and let the mind descend into chaos. I always urge myself to take a giant step back and detach my heart from my emotions, even just for a minute (maybe by going for a walk or taking a shower), so I may objectively assess whether the new developments are really THAT terrible.
- Could we still have a similar outcome, just via a different route?
- What do the unforeseen hurdles mean for us, and what are our odds of jumping over them?
- Did the project really benefit us that much, or is the failure a blessing in disguise?
These little questions often help me breathe through setbacks and avoid reacting emotionally. Cool head, people.
Two: Take responsibility for our actions.
More often than not, plans fail because of our own lack of foresight, no matter how prepared we think we are. That’s fine; we make mistakes and learn from them. The key thing here is to actually acknowledge said errors, as there’s no point in making the same ones several times because we are too proud to admit that we screwed up. So while it feels like crap, it is necessary to truly understand the role we play in the demise of our own plans and vow to do better.
- Could we have started work earlier on that project?
- Did we trust the wrong people to help us, or did we let the wrong people into our circle?
- Should we have done better research?
- Could we have analyzed the situation better? Did we tweak it to fit our own narrative, and are now upset that reality is smacking some sense into us?
Being open to admitting our own wrongdoings is liberating because it helps us get out of our own way. I am guilty of often skipping this step when things go awry, but history has shown me that ignoring my own responsibility in my failures is like refusing to acknowledge that I gain weight when I eat candy- while blaming everyone else for my muffin top. 🙄
That said though, sometimes there is just nothing we could have done better. Things fail for no reason every once in a while, and that is perfectly okay. In those cases, it is necessary to mourn a bit, maybe mope for a couple of days, pray if religious, but eventually reach a point where we are at peace with the situation, accept the new reality and are able to see a way forward.
Three: Determine the new course of action and move on; REALLY move on.
Okay, so we’re done crying/ determining how terrible the setback is/ realizing we ain’t shit because we did contribute to the issue/ being upset at the whole world because we couldn’t even have avoided it/ etc. Awesome; now what?
Well- now we move forward while remembering the lessons, and we try to turn the situation around, somewhat salvage it or just call it a loss and move on. It could mean a lot of work, a loss of revenue or even a lost relationship, but hey- things happen.
- Can we still work hard in that class and get an overall A even after that C or D?
- Can we still be with that person after we gave them chance after chance after chance, only for them to keep disappointing us?
- Can we still move to that city we love, even after the job or housing prospect fell through?
Answering those questions can be hard, but working through them is necessary to find a new way to march towards our goals or to create new ones.
On to today’s frock:
I first saw this sheer dress on Ashleigh from @thedaileigh. She rocked the white version of it, and it looked stunning on her. I was like: “I can totally pull this off” and ordered it (it helped that Boohoo had a 50% off sale). I was super happy with myself and could not wait to get it.
It came and… was waaaay more revealing than I could handle. I actually saw the pics on the website and they are pretty accurate as far as how sheer it is, so I do even not know what the heck I was expecting. Brain fart.
I received the dress the day of this shoot and ended up wearing it as a top, but upon coming home I immediately bought a pair of mini shorts on Amazon to wear with it. Because NO MA’ AM. If that had not worked, I would have sent it back.
I have only worn it for shoots so far, but I like it and would wear it during a warm vacation. I feel like the sheer tulle is not friends with high heels (they get caught in it), but the bust is opaque and comfortable. It is also a VERY long dress. I’m wearing the size L here (I always get a L in maxis because of my height, I’m 5″11) and it still drags on the floor, even with my 4-inch heels. My only gripe is the stitches on the chest, which are very unattractive to me. Boohoo and eShaki need to be friends, as they all love torpedo boobs.
Side note: Boohoo is having a 70% off sale right now (at least they did yesterday when I was writing this) and the white version of this dress is currently $14. If you have a vacation coming or just like the dress, it’s not a bad buy.
Well- that’s all folks! Thanks as usual for stopping by, and share below what you do when life takes a strange turn!
Until next time,
P.S. This look was photographed by @Tracey_Mammolito in my office. I love her work.