Denim on denim, and 3 quick ways to find peace in spite of chaos

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Hello fashionable humans!

I’m still traveling through England, and I’ve been struggling with my posting schedule because of the unpredictability of my Internet connection. I have not had any reliable WiFi since I left London (my trips are cataloged in my Instagram stories. If you’re interested, my handle is @dafrastar). I am now in Scotland and mercifully have a decent signal; whoop!

Anywho, today’s post is about a denim on denim outfit (clearly), but I also would like to touch on something else. Yesterday, I asked you guys on Instagram how you went about finding an island of calm somewhere in the midst of the hustle and bustle we call life. Indeed, for many of us, daily obligations include getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ourselves (and perhaps the rest of the family) ready for the day, making breakfast/lunch, going to work, having a productive day, and then coming home to unwind- but not before completing dinner, dishes and –insert any other random chore here–. I am out of breath just writing this. More power to the ones who can squeeze gym sessions in, hobbies or time with friends. And just HATS OFF to moms, who do all this- except times 20.

So in all this craziness, how does one regroup when everything gets too much? What happens when social media is just annoying the shit out of you, work sucks, homework just isn’t moving forward and everything is just taking a turn for the worst? Under my Instagram post, you guys had several answers. Retreating to your bedroom was definitely a favorite. Saying a prayer was also mentioned several times. Other options included going on vacation, doing some yoga, drinking a glass of wine or indulging in some 420. Personally, prayer ranks very high for me as well, but I would like to use this post to share more of my personal ways to “get back to neutral”. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Retreat someplace where I can be quiet for 5 minutes… and that could literally be my head.

It may sound silly to some, but even the appearance of quiet usually helps me get my thoughts in order. I do not require to be actually alone, but closing my eyes, for example, helps me get a handle on what is happening around me. It helps me assess stressors clearly, understand what is causing me to feel frazzled, and therefore act on it. If necessary, this is also a time I use to pray. In the midst of a shitstorm, my prayers usually go like this: “Lord, I hate every second of this shit, but You know why it is happening; so please, in your immense magnanimity, allow me not to care about things that will NOT matter in a few days, and allow me to learn what you wanted me to learn by going through this crap.” I mean, not exactly, but that’s really the gist of it.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Strategize in a way that saves time and makes me feel smart.  (I can’t be the only one who does this.)

Chaos usually means that there is a lot of things to do. Some things need to happen first; sure. Still, there are always 2-3 items that really need to happen at the same time as other things, because they have the potential of being huge bottlenecks later.

A real-life example: on days where I have a mountain of dishes to do + a deck to complete + a blog post to edit + looks to brainstorm, shit can go left quick. After I use step 1 to calm down, I usually start scheduling tasks in my head, and then re-arrange them to optimize my timelines. For example, some tasks should always be done first because, while unimportant, they need be completed fast not to derail my schedule. Dishes and laundry are good examples; starting the dishwasher before doing anything else means that dishes will be clean by the time I am done editing photos, and BAM- 2 things done. This usually makes me feel way smarter than I really am and gives me the courage to charge through everything else.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Drink tea. Gallons of it.

I don’t even mean the kind with caffeine; I mean the silly kind with random herbs and flowers and shit. Here is the thing- I consume little to no caffeine on a daily basis (not even on purpose, kinda just happened.) HOWEVER- God have mercy on anyone who will ever come between me and my caffeine free ginger or peppermint tea. Why, you ask? I DON’T KNOW- STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

Tea is literally my answer to everything in life. Happy? Drink tea. Sad? Drink tea. Angry? Drink tea. Frazzled? Drink tea. Ate too much? Hungry? Tired? DRINK. TEA.

Maybe it’s the process of making it; maybe it helps me feel like at least ONE thing is going right; maybe I just fucking love flowery infused beverages. I have no idea what it is, but tea brings me so much peace… that it is generally what I am doing with my hands as I am going through steps 1 and 2 in my head. And the silly thing is that I will take AGES to drink a cup. So it’s not even that I really need the beverage.

Odds are- you have your tea equivalent. Find it, and use it as a mindless occupation while you strategize and determine how to emerge from chaos. It works, and helps- at least for me- to reset my mind and get back on track (that said, please, for the love little green dragons, don’t pick something harmful like– idk– cocaine).

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Time to chat about Denim on Denim Styling!

Now let’s talk about my clothes- all that yapping made me forget I had not touched on those. BTW- this look was put together with items I already had lying around in my closet. Therefore, half of them are sold out and I have no idea where I bought the other half from. Sowee!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

I am wearing my best interpretation of denim on denim. In my humble opinion, it is one of the simplest ways to look fashionable yet low key. I personally love pairing darker pants with a lighter denim or chambray shirt, for a good amount of color contrast.  I dislike acid wash, so said top still needs to be some kind of blueish hue to be attractive to me.

The pants: I have owned them for a while (I buy jeans from Lucky Brand every Black Friday, so they are at least 1 year old, possibly older.) These are the Sasha Super Skinnies I believe, which I also featured in this post. I HATE the fact that Lucky Brand does NOT celebrate diversity at all in their ads; they are so non-inclusive, it is almost comical. Sooooo, if you know of another brand that sells jeans up to a 36″ inseam (at prices that would hopefully not bankrupt me), please point me their way.

The top: It is a chambray top I bought from… somewhere. Maybe Marshalls? I remember physically buying it, so it was not Amazon… I will update with details if I can find them, but you can honestly find dozens like it anywhere online. Mine’s only particularity is that it has push buttons instead of regular ones– useful for people with claws like myself.

The scarf: Bought in a boutique in NYC, on a particularly freezing day 6 years ago.

The belt: Thrifted years ago.

The shoes: Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, featured in this post as well. Kind of sold out everywhere online, but similar (and much cheaper) ones here.

The sunglasses: Bought on the side of the road somewhere in Brazil for like 3 bucks.

DASSIT- If you made it this far, thanks a whole bunch, and see you next time! (likely next week, because this lack of network is no bueno.) Catch my stories on Instagram- I am sharing quite a bit of my daily activities! (Did London, Oxford, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Inverness and headed back to London tomorrow!)

As always- thanks for stopping by.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

This look was photographed by Rachel Radcliffe in Piedmont, California.

With Love,

D

38 thoughts on “Denim on denim, and 3 quick ways to find peace in spite of chaos”

  1. I laughed so many times during this post- I promise not to use any harmful drugs for the sake of the dragons!!!!
    First of, what is this lip colour??? Looks beautiful on you!

    Can totally relate to this post- mostly bc even when I am very busy, the stress comes from me overthinking, not the actual tasks at hand. Once I’m able to get in the right head space, be it through prayer, a chai tea latte or a quick dance break, getting through the day doesn’t seem so daunting!

    I also like what you said about feeling smarter, I’m forced to do this a lot. Now that I’m back at uni and still transitioning, I find myself having pep talks (with myself) almost every 2 hours. My confidence since returning has plummeted but I have to keep reminding myself that I’m more than qualified to be here!

    Thanks for sharing and cute outfit as always! So here for thigh-high season!

    1. Haha thank you Tisha! That lip is a combo of Vino or Nighmoth liner paired with Mented #5 from Mented Cosmetics, topped with either Natural from NYX or a gloss from Lena Lashes. I rarely write down makeup combos, I really should.
      And yes to overthinking! Ugh it’s the worst , I also feel like that’s the hardest part to weave through. Once the mind is under control, the rest follows.
      I will also echo you- you are the best, Uni is just a little thing- do not let it get you down, and instead use it to build skills useful in real life. You rocked your internship, so you know you’re more than ready! Hang in there! ♥️♥️♥️

  2. Love how you style denim on denim, your outfit is fabulous! Things do get so crazy, and I am 100% on board with drinking tea!! It is such a relaxer!!

    XOXO
    Cathy

  3. Ahh i’m loving this look!! 😍 Also so much yes to finding the calm within the storm – it’s something i’ve been working on lately too! I’m finding staying organised, meditating (even if it’s just for two minutes) and not putting off small talks is helping! Thanks for the tips!
    Chante xo | http://www.chante-louise.com

    1. I love the idea of meditation, even though I’ve never been able to pull it off. I’m thinking of starting a 15 min a day contemplative prayer practice- hopefully that is a good first step! Thanks for The tips and for stopping by today!

  4. Dafra- I have so much to compliment! First, you are gorgeous! Your eye makeup is so pretty and I love your outfit and THIS post. From another blogger POV- I really dig how you’ve laid out this post, and particularly how you broke down your outfit without a million links- it feels real, authentic and refreshing. (that link to Amazon- genius!) I love how you asked your readers on Insta and then laid out these tips. Just really really love all that you’ve got going on. These tips are so prefect for this time of year! Hope you are having a wonderful time in England!

    xo Jen from styleinshape.com
    http://styleinshape.com/take-10-challenge/

    1. Hi Jen-Your comment made me feel like a million bucks!!!! I especially appreciate the post feedback. Blogging is hard work, and having another blogger tell me I am doing well went straight to my heart; I am so so appreciative. Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your kindness!

  5. Love your outfit, you are gorge! I wish I knew how to do fancy make up like that on myself haha How do you like the OTK boots? Do you feel like you wear them often enough to make the purchase be worth it?

    xx, Nicole
    http://www.nicolesometimes.com

    1. Hi Nicole- this is the result of years of watching YT tutorials! I promise you though, it is not difficult once you start.
      And YES- I was very scared of having them lie around the house unused, but I have had them for maybe 2-3 months and I have honestly worn them over ten times already. Work, night out, sightseeing, you name it. As long as there’s no water or salt on the ground, they are always the perfect shoes to go with jeans or mini skirts.

  6. OMG!! Can we be friends!!!!??? I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have such an awesome personality I want to be near it all of the time!!! And you have such a beautiful smile btw. recently for me i have found just listening to music helps my keep a clean head ( i have my headphones on now while I am reading this) Having that music in the background just really helps me stay focused on my task. I remember when I was younger I couldn’t do my homework without the tv being on and having that noise in the background. My parents just thought I was stalling or whatever but it really helped me. Having no sound I find my mind starts to wander.

    1. Yes- Let’s be friends!!! 😀 And thanks so much for the kind words!
      Re: music: I used to be the same way in high school, and I honestly credit my fluency in English to always listening to American songs while doing my homework- I made those 3T and Backstreet Boys CDs work, I’m telling ya!
      Thanks so much for stopping by! <3

    1. Thanks so much Antonia, you are so kind to me, as always!

      I will fully admit to having an unhealthy obsession with these boots and with black accessories in general, so I am so glad when I get to use both in any outfit!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  7. These are amazing ways to find peace. I love finding 5 minutes of quiet. I try to meditate every day for at least 5 minutes, which forces me to be quiet and find an actually quiet space. As of late, that’s definitely been a storage closet at work where our fishtank filter is. But the sound of the water plus the actual separation form everything else makes it shocklingly effective as a retreat. Gotta do what you gotta do, right?

    Styling denim on denim is so hard for me no matter how hard I try to make it actually work. I love the look you’ve put together here!

    xoxo,
    Dannie
    http://www.stilefotocibo.com

    1. That is actually really smart- the sound of water is so soothing, I am sure I would do exactly the same. How did you get started meditating? I have never been able to completely, I mean COMPLETELY empty my mind. How do you do it?
      Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words!

  8. I love denim on denim! The over the knee boots are a perfect way to break up all of the denim!

    Xoxo
    Mandy
    Musingsofashopaholicmama

  9. Love this look. I feel you. Social media, especially Instagram has sucked the life out of me. I try to take time for myself and limit the times I check the app. Yeah I may loose some followers but it’s better for my mental health.

    Jennifer
    Effortlessly Sophisticated

    1. Very true. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and to look down on our “normal” lives. I’m learning to understand that none of those things should affect me, and that I should just focus on putting out great content.

  10. First off, I love the intro. Second, good job on choosing ginger tea. I literally love ginger and I even cook with it 🙈😍. Lastly, denim on denim is one of my favs and I can’t wait to try it again. Overall I love everything

  11. Love the chambray and I think you’re right that the contrast between it and the jeans is making it work. Great post! I hope you’ve enjoyed England! I used to live in Oxford and I definitely miss it.

    1. It was so much fun. I am a huge Harry Potter fan, so you should have seen my face in the Hall at Christ Church!!! Thanks for stopping by today!

  12. Absolutely loved this post. The denim on denim looks fab on you, it’s one of my favorite combos as well! As for me, I find making a physical to-do list really helps me, either in my planner or on a post-it note. Similar to your second point, but I like to actually see and cross things off a list! Super helpful 🙂

    1. Lists are awesome, and I actually use them a lot at work. Every Monday morning, I create a list for the week, and I make sure to refer to it every time I feel sidetracked.
      Thanks so much for the kind comment!

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