Why I am making NO resolutions this year — and why you shouldn’t either

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com

OMG #fashionablehumans, the year is OVER!!!! I won’t lie, I have a few unresolved feelings about this. I feel like 2017 was a very long year, but at the same time— it FLEW by.

Obviously, the end of any year always brings (cliché) reflections on oneself and one’s life path, which often leads to New Year resolutions, and yadda yadda. I mentioned before that this year has been… interesting for me; I went through deep struggles, took many (MANY) leaps of faith, worked harder than I ever have and slept around 20 mins every month. THAT SAID, I will say in all honesty that  2017 was a good year— you know, the kind of good that is akin to the gym? It sucks while you’re on that stupid treadmill, but the long-term results are worth it! (I don’t run tho, eff that).

I am hoping that 2018 is even more successful than 2017 for all of us; that said, I will not be sitting down to make any resolutions for that to happen. Nope. Do I have goals? You betcha. However, I believe that none of them will be attained through a New Year resolution, simply because they just don’t work— at least not for me.

By the way, let it be known that this is not a rant; while I am not here for New Year resolutions, I still want this post to be joyful and filled with gratitude. There will be 4 letter words aplenty, but ya know—they just add emphasis.

Here we go: My reasons why New Year Resolutions ain’t shit.

A Resolution does not only work on January 1st; we can improve year round.

Blogger Dafrastar discussing New Year goals: www.dafrastar.com

I used to be the worse at this! I would have lengthy resolutions every January, and they would fail by February… or really, by January 10th. Remember this Peniel Enchill drawing that made its way through 99% of Facebook timelines in 2015? (I love her illustrations btw, and I am hell bent on commissioning one from her when I have the $$$). How many of the people who touted this picture on their pages were in the same place, with the same drama, the same shortcomings and the same troubles come July (me included, even though I did not actually share this image)?

I agree that we should all try to be the best version of ourselves; I know I strive to do so every day. However, guess what: those changes are not related to celestial mechanics. Nope. We don’t need to wait for the beginning of a new year to work on ourselves, go after what we want, make healthier choices or take care of our hearts. If you feel like January 1st really gives you a clean slate to start new habits, by all means- own that shit. However, all of us need to remember that that day is followed by 364 other days that are just as good to make changes. 🙂

I agree that we should all try to be the best version of ourselves; I know I strive to do so every day. However, guess what: those changes are NOT related to celestial mechanics. Nope. We don’t need to wait for the beginning of a new year to work on ourselves.

A resolution is only words; words don’t work without… well, work.

 

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com

This one may be the most important one. Tying into the point above, I personally feel like I grew accustomed to wishing for a ton of things at the beginning of every year, and having nothing materialize— like, ever. I call those wishes dreams because that’s exactly what they were; a list of aspirational goals I would muse about, imagining how my life would be if I could attain them.

The issue is that I never did much about the “attaining” part.  I just sat there wishing, or completely half-assed attempts to make those (often very attainable) dreams a reality. Why? I have no idea. A deeper exploration of my psyche is needed to unpack that.

Y’all ever heard that quote “The dream is free; the hustle is sold separately”? Exactly. Resolutions (for me, at least) are often fueled by emotion, optimism from having fun on NYE, Facebook ads for new exercise plans, the smell of shiny new planners, and other generally inconsequential things.  They are easy to give up because all of the above fades after the 3rd conference call on January 2nd.

To make a resolution a reality, A LOT of discipline is needed to push through hurdles when the NYE euphoria has left the building. The dreams I have achieved lately have been made possible by flexing those discipline muscles HARD, grunting through every  step of the process, but emerging stronger on the other side of it (again, just like a treadmill! And no,  I am STILL not running!)

So develop that courage and discipline. Understand that progress is better than perfection, embrace the inevitable falls and give it your all. That’s how dreams come true, and a pretty resolution on a shiny new planner page does not capture that reality.

 

(…) Develop (…) courage and discipline. Understand that progress is better than perfection, embrace the inevitable falls and give it your all. That’s how dreams become true, and a pretty resolution on a shiny new planner page does not capture that reality.

A Resolution can feel forced; just let shit flow, man.

Blogger Dafrastar discussing New Year Resolutions: www.dafrastar.com

This one is super straightforward. On January 1st, people around you may be rushing to make a list of things they swear they will commit to— because others are doing it too. To that, I say “Fuck peer pressure”.

There are many reasons why January 1st may not make you want to change a damn thing in your life. For example, what if:

  • You want to give things some more thought?
  • You don’t want to be tied to a decision made within a split second?
  • You are actually pretty happy with your life, have found the right “formula” to keep you fulfilled,  and just want to keep doing what you are doing for a while?
  • … <insert a whole lot of other reasons here>

Work on things in your own time, not because everyone is magically supposed to commit to self-betterment every 365 days. That’s silly. You own your life, change it when you are ready and committed.

Work on things in your own time, not because everyone is magically supposed to commit to self-betterment every 365 days. That’s silly.

Finally: my wishes to all of you for the New Year

In spite of not liking resolutions very much, I am not a New Year Grinch; I love looking back at the past 12 months, assessing what made me happy (or less happy), and trying to do more (or less) of that. I therefore know that 2018 will likely be full of new firsts and new discoveries. I also already know that I will continue to courageously walk away from things that do not serve my life (like my ego— I hate that bitch). I am looking forward to clumsily work on patience, humility, openness and communication. I don’t need a New Year resolution for any of these things, because they are ongoing.

 

That said, to all of you, I wish an amazing, amazing new year.

  • I wish you love, happiness, prosperity and someone (or someplace) to always call home.
  • I wish you to step a little out of your comfort zone; most fun things in this world lie on the other side of fear.
  • I wish you to recognize that you are worth everything, and that you are too cool to let yourself down. Take courage, try new things, and let go of stale shit. You are special, act like it.
  • I wish you warm embraces from family and bestie- induced belly-aching laughs.
  • I wish you to have enough discernment to understand when you may be wrong, so you can make it right.

But above it all, I wish you good health. Please be well.

Thank you guys for an amazing 2017, from the bottom of my heart. This year has been stellar, and my little blog thanks you. Here’s to an even better 2018!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

P.S: I will have a post dedicated to this outfit in the next few weeks; these photos were taken in Hong Kong by Ringo from Aperture Production. It was the most INSANE photoshoot I ever had in my life, in a great way!

 

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com New Year Resolutions, New year Resolution, New Year Goals, Vision Boards, New Year Plan, ankara dress, ironyofashi, african blogger, black blogger, New Year New Me, #newyearresolution #newyearresolutions

 

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com New Year Resolutions, New year Resolution, New Year Goals, Vision Boards, New Year Plan, ankara dress, ironyofashi, african blogger, black blogger, New Year New Me, #newyearresolution #newyearresolutions

 

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com New Year Resolutions, New year Resolution, New Year Goals, Vision Boards, New Year Plan, ankara dress, ironyofashi, african blogger, black blogger, New Year New Me, #newyearresolution #newyearresolutions

 

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses the need to make new year resolutions on her blog, www.dafrastar.com New Year Resolutions, New year Resolution, New Year Goals, Vision Boards, New Year Plan, ankara dress, ironyofashi, african blogger, black blogger, New Year New Me, #newyearresolution #newyearresolutions

13 thoughts on “Why I am making NO resolutions this year — and why you shouldn’t either”

  1. iI agree! You should never stop dreaming and setting new goals. Whether you set them in January or later it’s totally up to you. Sometimes short term goals that you accomplish make you a lot happier than bigger goals. This is by far the greatest lesson I have learned so far!

    Arianne//Say Curls
    http://saycurls.com

    1. Such wise words! Short term goals pump me up a lot too and give me the courage to tackle larger ones. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Hi, Dafra.

    First of all, I want to greet you a Happy New Year! Dafra, you completely read my mind out loud. I stop making resolution since 2016. I just realized that every year, I can’t fulfill the resolutions that I made and I’ll feel really low. You can’t be fully ready with what life’s gonna throw at you.

Drop me a line!