What is your personal style? Find out in 6 steps

Hello hello #fashionablehumans!

Happy Tuesday, and I hope you enjoyed the weekend and are already killing this week! Are you doing anything fun or major? Let me know in the comments!

I was on Pinterest the other day, and I saw a few pins about unlocking one’s personal style. I already had “Personal Style” inked on my list of things to write about, because it is such an organic and ever-evolving thing. It took me a long time to feel like I nailed mine; shit, I still have doubts sometimes! As far as I am concerned, “Style” really does not have much to do with fashion. I define it as:

  1. Externally: one’s signature look, aka the kind of attire they are known to wear or the clothes they are often associated with (for example: Kate Winslet = bodycon mermaid gowns, Laverne Cox= dramatic dresses often featuring cutouts, the Olsen twins = oversize, boho, frilly, lacy and/or furry things.)
  2. Internally: one’s personal philosophy about how they want to look.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look

To be honest, #2 has to come first, but it takes a while to achieve. It is challenging for anyone to figure out how they want to appear to the world… Moreover,  IF they ever achieve that, nailing a consistent aesthetic as a result of it is a tall ask. We were not all blessed with Janelle Monáe’s incredible consistency (the girl has been slaying in her black and white “uniform” for YEARS, veering very rarely away from it).  For the bulk of us mere mortals, shopping is really just reduced to looking for items to wrap our bodies in, while optimizing for comfort and cuteness.

Personal style is a very… well, personal journey, but I feel like some overarching rules hold true; let’s explore them below!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
1. Forget what you are “supposed” to be wearing. This is about you.

Finding your style means really focusing on what feels right to YOU. That means letting go of other people’s opinions, of what your friends like, of what you momma thinks and even of current fashion.  Focus on yourself. What do YOU like, and how do you want to feel in your clothes? It is cool to get inspiration from other people; as a matter of fact,  if I was richer, I could literally buy anything Folake from Style Pantry ever wore —with my eyes closed— and be happy. However, make sure to be listening to your own voice a lot more than anyone else’s. It’s the only one that matters here.

2. Find your best assets and show them off (if you are so inclined)

Let me preface this by saying that it’s YOUR decision as to what your best assets are. No matter how much people like a part of your physique, you will not feel comfortable highlighting it unless you agree with them. That said, what do you like about yourself? Be greedy: pick several spots on your body worth showing off (yes, there are several, I promise you) and determine whether you are okay playing them up in your outfits. Side note: playing something up does not have to mean baring it. Jeans highlight legs nicely, and a great blazer can accentuate shoulders while keeping them covered.

If you are struggling with this exercise, take a hard look at your closet and answer these questions:

What items do I like, and what garments make me feel happy? What clothes do I feel the most confident in, and what would I wear if I wanted to look my best?

The items you pick as a result of those questions should serve as the starting point of your style journey, as they likely highlight what you subconsciously believe to be your best assets.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
3. Analyze what you gravitate towards, in real life and in pictures.

By now, you should be pretty honest with yourself about what you like or do not like (if you still feel like you are dressing for other people, remember— this is YOUR style journey, mkay?). Now hop on Pinterest (I have a few boards you may like, wink wink ), grab a fashion magazine or just head over to Instagram. Start wildly scrolling and saving/earmarking anything that catches your eye, or anything you could honestly see yourself rocking with excitement. Do not be afraid to be bold either — I mean, we are only browsing photos here. Suits, skirts, dresses, shoes, gowns, freaking bikinis- save them all. After you do that for a few minutes (or hours or days), go back to your gallery and look at your shortlist. What do you notice? Are any items the same? Do they follow a pattern (or several)? How do the outfits make you feel? Which kind of items/colors/dressing styles keep coming back? Make note of all these things, delete the few looks that aren’t quite as exciting anymore and save some more images! We’re getting somewhere!

4. Unearth the connector words.

Okay- now the moment of truth. Look at all those gorgeous outfits. Quick, describe them all in 2-3 words! “Boho, floral, flowy!” or “Monochromatic, structured, sleek!” or “Relaxed, denim, androgynous!” Ta-da, there you go! You have a style profile! *does the happy dance*

Okay, that works like 5% of the time. In case you are still perplexed, try breaking things up by clothing type. How are your dressy outfits? How about your work looks? Any resemblance amongst your casual looks? What color palette or fit do you stick to?

If that does not work either, how about we split everything by garment type? How are your dresses? Your skirts? Do they all accentuate the same area of the body? Are they mostly minis, midis or maxis? Are your jeans mostly distressed? Dark wash? Skinny or relaxed?

Whether in plain sight or a little hidden, the connection is always there. Just give yourself a large enough sample size in earmarked outfits to be able to see the patterns emerge.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look
5. Bring it home.

Whew, now that we have done the hard part, we have to adapt your aspirational style profile to your everyday life. Indeed, for example, depending on where you work, “sexy, boho, chic” may be a little frowned upon; however, it could be incorporated in your wardrobe in the form of fun accessories or floral chiffon blouses under your blazers. Alternatively, “Edgy, leather, deconstructed ” sounds like a badass style profile, but it may not work very well in a classroom; that said, a leather cuff and a studded belt may give you just enough of the look to be true to yourself while following rules. You get my point.

Start “adapting” your style profile to your daily life. If all your photos feature sky-high heels, be ready to invest in a pair OR to recreate your looks with cute flats. Same thing for designer clothing and accessories; identify what you like about your picks and recreate the look for less (see here how to score great quality clothing for less), unless you can afford a closet full of Monique Lhuillier- in which case YOU GO, GIRL!

6. Take your brand new style for a spin!

Chances are, you already have items in your closet that match your ideal style. Rock them and pay attention to how you feel in them; create new outfits with the inspiration you gathered from your research; determine whether you want to add new connector words to your description, or remove some altogether; make sure you feel gorgeous and confident; have fun!!!

And remember: at the end of the day, they are only clothes. They come off.

 

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps

Bonus: My own journey

Putting my money where my mouth is… Below is my own journey through the 6 steps above. I really did use this framework, guys! I may not have known it at the time, but this is honestly how . found my “look”.

  1. This took me a while. I listened to everyone else’s thoughts on what I should be wearing for far too long and in the end, I had no style of my own. It took a minute for me to develop my own opinions.
  2. That was easy. I have a mini torso and long ass limbs, so legs was a no-brainer. More recently, I have also been on a weight loss journey for the past six months (23 lbs so far, woohoo!) so my newfound waist has been making its way up the list as well. I also like highlighting the hourglass figure I do not have.⏳
  3. The color black; jeans; anything that makes me look hourglass-y (so yay peplums/ mermaid skirts); minis; ankara clothes; black pointy-toed pumps; ratchet Instagram boutique dresses; thigh high boots.
  4. “Sophisti-ratchet, monochromatic, ethnic, curve-enhancing”. I love to bare random body parts in a classy (ish) way, I could wear black every day of my life, and I put my legs on display a little bit 😀. I am also a boxier than I would like, so I fake the hourglass shape God didn’t give me by sporting items that nip at the waist and flare out.
  5. I do that every day.
  6. I have solidly been in this wheelhouse for 5+ years, and it somehow never feels boring.

Done! And while all that is cool, we need deets on the outfit!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
  • Top: Twist X Turn high-low eyelet blouse. I fell in love with it immediately. I bought it along with its sister in a checkered pattern– LOVE them both. I cannot see the one I am wearing on the website for sale, even though it is on the homepage- weird. That said, the ties at the waist are stupid- they make zero sense, and I had to play around with them for a while to knot them in a way that worked for me. Still, I like the silhouette, the asymmetrical design and the overall elegant yet surprising feel this top has. Only wore it once so far (for this shoot), but it is comfortable and gorgeous.
  • Skirt: ZARA. This is a black pencil skirt, but it is fighting basicness by sporting a strip of PU leather and a band of lace. It does not look like much on a hanger, but I like the way it looks on.
  • Shoes: Steve Madden; worn here, here and here. Still hate them because they compress my feet, but they sure make my legs look a mile long.
  • Bag: Céline Phantom. This impulse buy was brought to you by poor decision making in collaboration with a long day at work; I am ashamed.

Dassit!!!!

Thanks y’all so much for rocking with me, and please leave any questions in the comments!

Until next time,

D

10 Random Facts about Me

Hello hello #fashionablehumans!

By the way- we are coining this expression. I checked Instagram and this hashtag only has, like, 3 posts- dassit, we’re taking it.

How have you guys been, and how was your holiday? Did you travel to go see family, or did you host?  Personally, I have been super busy yet super happy!  Life is good and I am overflowing with gratitude; I just need to remember to pray more often, swear less and drink my water (as of right now I am drinking wine tho).

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!So- in spite of me yapping for paragraphs on each single one of my posts,  I realized last week that you guys really do not know much about me at all. I was prepping to post my last look from London, and I seized the opportunity to write a bit of a more personal post! To be honest- as much as I love fashion, I often feel that posts only focusing on clothing can be a little dry. For example, I am enjoying the heck out of my Fall 2017 Trends series; however, I also love to share some personal learnings and experiences as well.

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!I have seen the “10 random things about me” tag floating around for quite a while. I never fail to read one; I feel like they give me a neat insight into who people really are, social media/ blogger personas aside. Like- they can speak fluent Russian, are amateur salsa dancers or cosplayed as Sailor Moon last year at Comicon. That shit is just so cool to me!

Sooooo I am trying my hand at it. Let me know if anything surprises you, if you knew everything or if we have some things in common!

10 Random things about me

  1. I am an only child. I feel like that has molded me into being someone who is not at all afraid of loneliness. I am really good at entertaining myself, and I am honestly rarely (if ever) bored.  The main downside to this is that I tend to assume others function the same way; I pack my days full of activities, often forgetting to bake in time to spend with other people.
  2. I love books. I easily read 1-2 MEATY books per month; at some point, I was really into fiction and finished a book every weekend like clockwork. I do not discriminate as far as genres are concerned: fiction, romance, mystery, self-help, nutrition, fitness, professional development, even prose (I cannot last through that shit though, it hurts my brain). The last opened books in my Kindle app currently are:

“Necessary Restorations” by Kate Canterbary (finished it- I love the whole Walsh series and read every book twice, don’t judge me- or judge away, whatever lol)

“Strong Curves” by Bret Contreras and Kellie Davis (just started today, I am very excited about the workouts in this book)

A sample of “Algorithms to Live by: The Computer Science of Human Decisions” by Brian Christian & Tom Griffiths (not started- I actually bought it for a friend in paperback and grabbed a Kindle sample for myself to check it out. She’s smart, so I am sure anything she picks is a good book)

“Drive: The Surprising Truth about what Motivates Us” by Daniel Pink (I’m on the last few chapters, good learnings)

“Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell (finished it, very easy read but pretty interesting; can’t wait to read another one of his books.)

  1. I speak 3 languages fluently, and English is the 3rd one. Dioula (my mother tongue, pronounced dee-oo-luh ) and French were the first languages I spoke. I did not start speaking English daily until I was 19 years old, when I moved to the US for college.
  2. I LOVE the Harry Potter series. I have watched every single one of the movies maybe 10 times and I own every single one of the books (as physical copies and in kindle format). I judge anyone who cannot say “wingardium leviosa”, or worse- who has no idea what it means.
  3. Finding jeans is extremely hard for me because I have a short torso and longer legs. I am also 5″11, which does not help. I need an inseam of 35″- 36″to be comfortable, which greatly limits my choices. Oh, and I have a shoe size of 11. Fun.
  4. When I was 19, I competed in a TV show akin to the French version of Jeopardy. I made it to the finals and won a lot of books and chocolate (It was around Easter). I lost to a history teacher, so I was honestly cool with it- listen, I was still perplexed as to how I made it that far.
  5. I got married twice… to the same man. My husband is Indian, so we had a regular wedding with the white dress, cake, bridesmaids etc. and an Indian wedding where I wore a red lehenga. It was fucking epic.
  6. I have a speech impediment; I have been stuttering since I was 6. It does not bother me that much in daily life; as a matter of fact, I have had A LOT of years to practice concealing it, so many people have no idea. I did go to speech therapy for it and got better, but I have since relapsed. I really should go again.
  7. I cannot drink coffee- It is BITTER!!!!! How do you guys do it??? I tried so many times, and I just can’t. Nope. I understand that people can have a taste for it, I appreciate the amount of work that goes into bean selection and roasting, but the beverage itself is just FOUL to me. I love the smell of a freshly brewed pot though.
  8. I do not watch TV. Like none. I do watch Netflix here and there (usually to keep my ears busy when I’m doing my hair), but I do not have the commitment to sit in front of the TV for anything. Everything that I know about TV personalities, I found out on social media. For world news, I catch up pretty easily via a triangulation of Twitter, FB, news apps, Reddit and my husband lol.

There you go, this is it!

Here are more photos of my outfit below, as well as a quick 411:

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!

  • Top: Black sheer bodysuit; used it several times on the blog, here and here for example. It’s from AliExpress and is available here. I love it so much I actually bought two more; one identical and one with a crew neck. The utility I get out of these is amazing- I wore the older one maybe 10 times, and that nets out to less than $1 per wear.
  • Boots: Another blog favorite, here and here. They are the Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, mostly sold out everywhere but here’s a similar pair here.
  • Blazer: First feature on the blog, but wore it several times already! It is from Missguided, and it is a much much much more affordable version of this one by Balmain; found out about it from a Jennie Jenkins fashion haul, and I have seen the Balmain blazer on Folake from Style Pantry several times in the past years (here, here). EVERY. TIME she wears it, it is DROOL WORTHY. That woman can DRESS. Anyway, back to our train of thought–this Missguided blazer has none of the structure its higher-end cousin benefits from (Jennie compares both in her video, at 10:23– you’re welcome )- but it is a cute blazer, it looks nice with jeans/ minis/ shorts and has a good length. I also scored it for 50% off during a random sale by Missguided, yay!  I will say though- mine is a little too large for my taste, and I wish I had sized down. (Got an 8, and I am an 8 in real life as well.)
  • Shorts: those corduroy shorts were a totally random purchase from Nordstrom Rack, and they were $10!!! They are here, and I also just found a pair on Poshmark (they are from a brand called Moon River).  I will highlight that I wear them back to front because they have cargo pockets in the front, which makes little to no sense to me. Like, why do we need crotch framing pockets? No one needs to highlight their nether regions that badly, and back pockets make MUCH more sense. They are super comfy though, super sassy and overall awesome. I wore them 2 or 3 times when I was in the UK (bought them the day before my trip).

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!

That is it for this blog post! As always, thanks a lot for stopping by and hanging out with me. I would like to tag Shannon from Champagne at Shannon’s, Tisha from Behind the Schmile, Debbie from To Thine Own style be True, Antonia from the Midwest Wife , Yawa from Stilettos and Pearls , Josie from Petite + Bold  and Louisa from La Passion Voûtée to take a stab at it, as well as all of you! If you do it, please leave your link below- I would love to read your list!

Look captured by @mishmash_photography at the Tower of London.

Until next time!

With Love,
D

FALL 2017 Fashion Trends Inspiration: Red checkered jacket

Fashionable humans! What’s happening?

Happy Wednesday to you gorgeous people! I hope you are all excited about this holiday week! Have you done your turkey day shopping yet? I went to Trader Joe’s on Sunday and it was fucking madness. Moreover, I am still missing like 10 items – everything was sold out, even butter. I had to buy one of those bougie ass butters (not Kerrygold, the other one) for like $5. Fine, I am on Keto so I am not stranger to exorbitant butter prices (and I may or may not have some Kerrygold in my house) but that does not mean I can’t complain.

Side note: I am busy putting together my most comprehensive post to date– about my top favorite red lipsticks–,  complete with product shots, swatches, try-ons, kiss tests, you name it. I have no idea what possessed me to think I could complete such a post in a week. I have been writing nonstop for days, which is why I had zero content last week. Oops.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.And today’s trend is…

Anywho, I am excited to bring you today’s trend, which is checkers. Checkered/plaid prints RULED the runway at NYFW in September, and since then, I have also seen them wholly embraced in the fashion blogging world. Personally, I totally dig this trend. I am very much into versatility, and I feel like a good checkered or plaid piece checks all the boxes (no pun intended). The prints are cute, functional (can be worn to the office OR girls’ night out) and work well as either tops, bottoms, dresses and even jumpsuits; case in point. I am low key mad I did not buy it when I had the chance (I tried it on, but for some obscure reason walked away from it); hopefully I can still get my hands on it. It would look so cute paired with a slim turtleneck and some ankle booties, don’t you think?

Before I get carried away putting together imaginary outfits, let’s take a quick look at the way the checkers trend was interpreted by fashion heavyweights at NYFW.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the 2017 NYFW checkers and plaid trend. Picture courtesy of www.stylecaster.com
Left to Right:
Mara Hoffman; Rosie Assoulin; Tory Burch; photo courtesy of StyleCaster.
Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the 2017 NYFW checkers and plaid trend. Picture courtesy of www.stylecaster.com
Balenciaga
Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the 2017 NYFW checkers and plaid trend. Picture courtesy of http://www.harpersbazaar.com/
Alexander Wang
Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the 2017 NYFW checkers and plaid trend. Picture courtesy of http://www.harpersbazaar.com/
Michael Kors

As I said above- this trend was EVERYWHERE on runways.

Oh and y’all see that last dress from Michael Kors? That is how I will dress every day when I have money, WITH the gloves AND the facial expression. Judge me, I don’t even care.

Anywho, we can agree that his checkered print situation just really works, and is quite classy when executed in shades of grey/black/charcoal. However, if you have been here before, you are already aware that sophisti-ratchetness is much more my speed. It should therefore come to no surprise to you that my interpretation of this trend came in the form of a bright red jacket. Of course.

On to my outfit! Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.What I am wearing: Jeans- Lucky Brand Sasha Skinny– Here; Blazer– Here; Booties– Here; Bodysuit – Here

I picked this particular jacket because the checkers are kinda muted, but they still make a fun statement. I paired it with a sheer bodysuit, skinnies and ankle snapping booties (seriously). While I would not wear this look to the office (hello boobies), this is solid girls night out material. See a breakdown of the clothes below.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.
Red checkered jacket: (black and charcoal also available)

I have had this jacket for a few weeks, and let me tell you- it is fire. It is a stretchy fabric, but it is thick and feels luxurious. I will highlight one VERY annoying thing, though: the buttons are trash. You may see that I have zero buttons here; guess what: the jacket came with two.

It is not an isolated issue either! I got this blazer in a size 10 first, and it was too large so I returned it for an 8. I did not even keep the 10 for 3 days, and wore it ONCE for 1 hour; I promise you, the buttons were already coming loose by the time I put the return package in the mail. Also, if you have long limbs like me, be ready for the sleeves not to come down to your wrists. I still love this jacket though, and I do NOT regret my purchase whatsoever- this is a minor annoyance compared to how much joy I get from wearing this garment.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.
The shoes (also available in olive)

These little ankle killers… I have no idea WTF I was thinking when I purchased those stinkers. Meet the Carlita Bootie from Justfab! They are SO HIGH (almost FIVE fucking inches, with NO platform- I seriously have no idea how I missed this in the description), and the heel is SO skinny that I swore I was about to faceplant every 2 minutes. They are also tight and uncomfortable for plump feet, at least in my experience. However, I am still breking them in (this was only my second time wearing them.) With all that said, they are very very cute and looked killer with my skinny jeans. I will never wear them to a place where I need to walk for more than 3 minutes, but if you are on the market for very impractical yet very sexy shoes, check those babies out! Look at those cute buckles and laces! (They are all a lie, the zipper is all you need to slip them on.)

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.

The rest of my outfit has been discussed on the blog before (again, I am all about versatility so re-wearing items several times is a victory in my book). Please articles below:

Please also see below some fellow bloggers styling checkers to perfection:

Shantel from Simply Shantel

Morgan from Hangitupla

Shannon from Champagne at Shannon’s 

Tania from Darling Tee (rocking that Zara jumpsuit was silly enough not to pick up)

Bonus pic below: the light was red, and I had to race across the street, heels and all. OUCH.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.

Dassit for today! I appreciate you stopping by, and the kind comments you keep sending my way! You guys are the best. Let me know below if you are jumping on the checkered bandwagon, or if you are judging us from a distance.

This look was shit by @Tracey_Mammolito in San Francisco.

Blogger @Dafrastar adding her twist to the the Fall checkers and plaid trend. More details in post.

Until next time!

With love,
D

FALL 2017 Fashion Trends Inspiration: Burgundy velvet dress

Fashionable humans! Wassup??? Hope your day is going great and the sun is shining bright! (metaphorically only, I know it’s fall 😂.)

So let’s be honest for a minute: that fall trends series is NOT going great. I was positive I would be able to put out 1-2 Fall trends related posts weekly, but so far I have fallen woefully short of that. Actually, I have only published ONE  Fall Trends post, and it was a month ago. 😪 I am ashamed.

But you know- Fall is not over until December 21st (I had to Google that), so let’s pick ourselves off the floor and put out a couple more good posts until then, yes? I promise I will do better. I will try. Okay fine, I ain’t promising shit, but I will honestly give it my best effort.

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet and red.What I am wearing: Dress, here; shoes, here; jacket, here. Rings: my own, mostly gifts. String bracelet, Alex and Ani, featuring Tree of Life charm

This post right here will combine two trends I have been loving: velvet and red! It is not news to anyone who has ever stopped by this blog that I do not mess around with my love for red and black. (I have a whole section dedicated to those two colors, for crying out loud.) Therefore, when Burgundy and bright red starred like crazy on NYFW 2017 runways in September, I thought “Yes gawd 🙌🏿”. I am just lowkey mad that I posted my Monochromatic red collab with @Dorothy.Abigail before NYFW- it would have honestly been perfect for fall, especially with her burgundy take on it.

As far as velvet is concerned, it has just been steadily killing it for a year or so. Did you ever imagine that fabric would be the fashion comeback of the decade? I mean, after VELOUR TRACKSUITS happened, I thought velvet was toast until perhaps 2025.

Whatever happened to Ja Rule?

However, here we are in 2017, and one can’t scroll through any Instagram boutique worth their salt without being assaulted by all kinds of velvet bodysuits, velvet dresses, velvet tops, velvet chokers or velvet booties. While this trend can be overwhelming, I honestly think that velvet is a fun fabric to wear; it looks awesome when paired with other textures, or even on its own.

“Where were red and velvet featured on runways at NYFW”, you ask?

My answer: Where weren’t they?

See Pictures below(Pics courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar, WWD.com and Elle Fashion)

 

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet. Picture courtesy of WWD/ Rodin Bianca.
Monse RTW Fall 2017
Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet. Picture courtesy of Elle.
Various Fall 2017 NYFW
Designers are still crushing on velvet, but this season they’re cutting designs from the rich fabric for jewel-tone formalwear. Keep this in mind when dressing for a fall wedding.
Justine Carreon, ELLE Magazine.
Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet. Picture courtesy of Harper's Bazaar.
The Row, NYFW 2017
Max Mara, NYFW 2017

 

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet. Picture courtesy of Harper's Bazaar.
Jill Sander, NYFW 2017

I will note that the floral velvet trend is also super hot. I am not sure whether I am 100% on board with that one yet (seems hard to style without looking like your grandma’s couch) but I will let you know whether I come around. I have seen many a fashionista rock the shit out of it; however, according to (my uncles in my head) Tom and Lorenzo, these girls are what you call “Ph.D. level dressers”. I am in grade school.

So overall- what do you guys feel about velvet? Has it earned its spot in your closet, or is it only material for tacky throw pillows in your book? Let me know in the comments!

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet and red.

On to the outfit!

The dress I am featuring here was actually bought last year for a Christmas party, and I ended up wearing it for NYE. I grabbed it for… wait for it… less than $20. Yep. It is a simple burgundy velvet midi dress with a strapless sweetheart neckline, some ruching and a slit on the side. (That’s a whole lotta adjectives so maybe it’s not as simple as I thought.) I am wearing a size XL , and my waist and hip measurements are 29.5″ /44″.

I’ll admit that my styling here was a tad simplistic (this was my third ever photo shoot, and my first one with Rachel, so I was still a ball of nerves). I would love to revisit this dress with a white shirt underneath (EFFING BONUS if I can find one with bishop sleeves), some dark tights, a corset belt and maybe some heels or boots for the office. That would be cute, right?

Tangent: I have been loving this approach of layering party tops on top of more conservative ones for daytime looks. Gotta wear them going out clothes, they can’t just sit around in closets waiting for parties and shit. They need to earn their keep.

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet and red.

The shoes: basic ass sandals from Amazon. They run large and I missed the return window so I am stuck with them. Size notwithstanding, they are cute and would make decent office shoes for warmer months. At the moment, I only wear them to go places I know I won’t walk a lot– they look nice when I’m sitting down so ya know 😂.

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet and red.

The jacket: the Classic Levi’s trucker jacket, purchased from Amazon in June. One of my best purchases to date- I wear this shit everywhere. This is a size L and the color is Belle Blue (I have a 16.5″ shoulder measurement and a 36″ bust measurement for your reference.) It fits great, has no embellishments or drama, and is a solid basic jacket to throw on top of any outfit for warmth or to dress it down a little.

I am excited to style more velvet looks. I got a copper-colored skirt and I have no idea what to pair it with, but I am hopeful I’ll find something.

 

That’s all I have for y’all today, short and sweet post! As always, I appreciate the support here and on Facebook and Instagram; thanks so much for engaging with me and following my blog!

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing Fall 2017 trends, namely velvet and red.

 

Until next time,

 

With Love,

D

Denim on denim, and 3 quick ways to find peace in spite of chaos

Hello fashionable humans!

I’m still traveling through England, and I’ve been struggling with my posting schedule because of the unpredictability of my Internet connection. I have not had any reliable WiFi since I left London (my trips are cataloged in my Instagram stories. If you’re interested, my handle is @dafrastar). I am now in Scotland and mercifully have a decent signal; whoop!

Anywho, today’s post is about a denim on denim outfit (clearly), but I also would like to touch on something else. Yesterday, I asked you guys on Instagram how you went about finding an island of calm somewhere in the midst of the hustle and bustle we call life. Indeed, for many of us, daily obligations include getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ourselves (and perhaps the rest of the family) ready for the day, making breakfast/lunch, going to work, having a productive day, and then coming home to unwind- but not before completing dinner, dishes and –insert any other random chore here–. I am out of breath just writing this. More power to the ones who can squeeze gym sessions in, hobbies or time with friends. And just HATS OFF to moms, who do all this- except times 20.

So in all this craziness, how does one regroup when everything gets too much? What happens when social media is just annoying the shit out of you, work sucks, homework just isn’t moving forward and everything is just taking a turn for the worst? Under my Instagram post, you guys had several answers. Retreating to your bedroom was definitely a favorite. Saying a prayer was also mentioned several times. Other options included going on vacation, doing some yoga, drinking a glass of wine or indulging in some 420. Personally, prayer ranks very high for me as well, but I would like to use this post to share more of my personal ways to “get back to neutral”. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Retreat someplace where I can be quiet for 5 minutes… and that could literally be my head.

It may sound silly to some, but even the appearance of quiet usually helps me get my thoughts in order. I do not require to be actually alone, but closing my eyes, for example, helps me get a handle on what is happening around me. It helps me assess stressors clearly, understand what is causing me to feel frazzled, and therefore act on it. If necessary, this is also a time I use to pray. In the midst of a shitstorm, my prayers usually go like this: “Lord, I hate every second of this shit, but You know why it is happening; so please, in your immense magnanimity, allow me not to care about things that will NOT matter in a few days, and allow me to learn what you wanted me to learn by going through this crap.” I mean, not exactly, but that’s really the gist of it.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Strategize in a way that saves time and makes me feel smart.  (I can’t be the only one who does this.)

Chaos usually means that there is a lot of things to do. Some things need to happen first; sure. Still, there are always 2-3 items that really need to happen at the same time as other things, because they have the potential of being huge bottlenecks later.

A real-life example: on days where I have a mountain of dishes to do + a deck to complete + a blog post to edit + looks to brainstorm, shit can go left quick. After I use step 1 to calm down, I usually start scheduling tasks in my head, and then re-arrange them to optimize my timelines. For example, some tasks should always be done first because, while unimportant, they need be completed fast not to derail my schedule. Dishes and laundry are good examples; starting the dishwasher before doing anything else means that dishes will be clean by the time I am done editing photos, and BAM- 2 things done. This usually makes me feel way smarter than I really am and gives me the courage to charge through everything else.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Drink tea. Gallons of it.

I don’t even mean the kind with caffeine; I mean the silly kind with random herbs and flowers and shit. Here is the thing- I consume little to no caffeine on a daily basis (not even on purpose, kinda just happened.) HOWEVER- God have mercy on anyone who will ever come between me and my caffeine free ginger or peppermint tea. Why, you ask? I DON’T KNOW- STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

Tea is literally my answer to everything in life. Happy? Drink tea. Sad? Drink tea. Angry? Drink tea. Frazzled? Drink tea. Ate too much? Hungry? Tired? DRINK. TEA.

Maybe it’s the process of making it; maybe it helps me feel like at least ONE thing is going right; maybe I just fucking love flowery infused beverages. I have no idea what it is, but tea brings me so much peace… that it is generally what I am doing with my hands as I am going through steps 1 and 2 in my head. And the silly thing is that I will take AGES to drink a cup. So it’s not even that I really need the beverage.

Odds are- you have your tea equivalent. Find it, and use it as a mindless occupation while you strategize and determine how to emerge from chaos. It works, and helps- at least for me- to reset my mind and get back on track (that said, please, for the love little green dragons, don’t pick something harmful like– idk– cocaine).

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Time to chat about Denim on Denim Styling!

Now let’s talk about my clothes- all that yapping made me forget I had not touched on those. BTW- this look was put together with items I already had lying around in my closet. Therefore, half of them are sold out and I have no idea where I bought the other half from. Sowee!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

I am wearing my best interpretation of denim on denim. In my humble opinion, it is one of the simplest ways to look fashionable yet low key. I personally love pairing darker pants with a lighter denim or chambray shirt, for a good amount of color contrast.  I dislike acid wash, so said top still needs to be some kind of blueish hue to be attractive to me.

The pants: I have owned them for a while (I buy jeans from Lucky Brand every Black Friday, so they are at least 1 year old, possibly older.) These are the Sasha Super Skinnies I believe, which I also featured in this post. I HATE the fact that Lucky Brand does NOT celebrate diversity at all in their ads; they are so non-inclusive, it is almost comical. Sooooo, if you know of another brand that sells jeans up to a 36″ inseam (at prices that would hopefully not bankrupt me), please point me their way.

The top: It is a chambray top I bought from… somewhere. Maybe Marshalls? I remember physically buying it, so it was not Amazon… I will update with details if I can find them, but you can honestly find dozens like it anywhere online. Mine’s only particularity is that it has push buttons instead of regular ones– useful for people with claws like myself.

The scarf: Bought in a boutique in NYC, on a particularly freezing day 6 years ago.

The belt: Thrifted years ago.

The shoes: Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, featured in this post as well. Kind of sold out everywhere online, but similar (and much cheaper) ones here.

The sunglasses: Bought on the side of the road somewhere in Brazil for like 3 bucks.

DASSIT- If you made it this far, thanks a whole bunch, and see you next time! (likely next week, because this lack of network is no bueno.) Catch my stories on Instagram- I am sharing quite a bit of my daily activities! (Did London, Oxford, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Inverness and headed back to London tomorrow!)

As always- thanks for stopping by.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

This look was photographed by Rachel Radcliffe in Piedmont, California.

With Love,

D

Birthday Post! 7 things I learned this past year.

Happy Saturday fashionable humans!!!

It is my birthday today and I am very very excited😆. I am honestly ridiculously stoked about my birthday every year, even though I rarely do anything extravagant.

This year, I am far away from home, but I am still pumped! I am fortunate enough to be in London for work, so while last week was PACKED with meetings, I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

I usually am not one of those people who take the time to reflect on shit. I do learn from my mistakes, of course, but, until recently, I rarely sat down to write things and make affirmations and stuff. However, after reading a few books that outlined the importance of reflection in actual writing, I have been trying to consciously sit the fuck down, think about things and write what I feel and I want to achieve: personal goals, family goals, professional goals, fitness goals, aspirations and all kinds of fun and positive things.

Therefore, on my birthday, 10/28/2017, I would like to share with you 7 little things I learned this year. Maybe they will be useful to you, maybe not; either way, I hope this post is entertaining!

In celebration of her birthday, blogger @Dafrastar shares 7 things she learned in the past year.What I am wearing: Dress, Boohoo (here); bag, @theresacotton Francis Clucth (gifted, thoughts below; here); Shoes, Justfab Hadley (here); Silk Bangles, IndianCraftsville (here). Lipstick is @colouredraine Cherry Blossom (here)
Birthday reflection 1:
Circumstances will reveal who you are; take action accordingly.

I came across this parabola/proverb thing a few years ago, but did not fully grasp it until this year. Here’s the thing: I consider myself very lucky. At the same time- 2016 and 2017 were complete b*tches, which strangely also brought about some of the highest highs of my life. Adversity turned me into a carrot, then an egg. Finally, one day, it clicked that I needed to suck it up and use life’s  punches to become stronger, and I turned into coffee. Hard circumstances have brought the best out of me on so many fronts: discipline, positivity, courage, and many other things that are kind of necessary not to suck at life. So don’t be scared: let hard times come by, and use them to change you for the better. Circumstances do NOT own you; you own your reactions to them.

Birthday reflection 2:
Everything you want lies on the other side of fear

Fear is generally a good thing meant to protect us from harm; snakes can be shitty, spiders may kill you, and anyone who tickles people should not be trusted. That said, fear can also keep us from living our lives to the fullest; know the difference, and please don’t let that happen to you. Don’t be my Mom’s friend who let the love of her life pass her by, because she was scared to ask her family to marry a man from a different religion (she is still single.) Don’t be that person who never tried anything because they never wanted to get out of their comfort zone; you may regret it. It took me 5 years to kick my own ass to (re)start Dafrastar, as I could not stop thinking about what people would think. I assumed they would feel that I was trying super hard to be relevant, and would laugh at me behind my back. You know what? If that’s indeed the truth, let them. Who cares? 🤷🏿‍♀️ So go on that trip, take that hot air balloon ride, wear those white jeans or go to that salsa class. Either way, you will have a great story to tell and another experience to remember.

Birthday reflection 3:
…And hard work

There is no way around it. When you want something, you have to understand that it WILL NOT fall in your lap, wrapped up with a nice little bow. Hiding behind sayings like “God willing, I will do X…” without actually doing shit will only cause you heartbreak. There isn’t really any replacement for diligently working at things to achieve mastery (even if asymptotically). For me, setting a goal and putting in the necessary work brings me a freedom and excitement I cannot even explain. No one can take the fruits of your labor away from you (unless you let them), and no one can steal your knowledge/ weight loss/ gym gains/ professional achievements from you. So work hard. Read that extra chapter; go to that networking event; take the time to understand that convoluted spreadsheet;  read that extra material to be prepared for that meeting. At the same time, hustle; find people to mentor you in what you are doing, ask questions, go to coffee with people smarter than you, and honestly do EVERYTHING you can to make it. Don’t half ass anything, it’s not cool to “barely try”. Flexing on the ‘Gram can wait (unless you are a blogger, then flex to the MAX! 😂)

In celebration of her birthday, blogger @Dafrastar shares 7 things she learned in the past year.

Birthday reflection 4:
It’s okay to want more for yourself.

You know what scares me? Waking up one day and thinking: “I could have done more with my life.” It sounds like a trivial thing, but I am so scared of growing old and seeing in hindsight all the things I could have done, but somehow decided not to pursue because I got comfortable. I cannot explain this point as well as the ones above, but this lady can! On her channel one day, I was listening to a video about purpose; she shared this quote, and it made me think very hard.

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry our their dream.”

Les Brown

I am filled with the dread of leaving a “rich grave” behind. I beat myself up for years and wondered what else I could do besides the usual (school, work, volunteering, family), and often felt greedy because- as I said, I feel very fortunate already. However, that guilt has eased up in this past year, as I realize it’s okay to demand more of myself, and it’s okay for me to want to explore everything I may be able to do. As of today, I do not have anything planned nor do I think that I have any talent besides my job, but by my next birthday, I hope to be working on something more than “the usual”.

Birthday reflection 5:
Respect your time.

That’s the only thing that we can never recover once it’s gone. In this past year, I have strived for every minute of the day to be spent doing something meaningful. Did I succeed? Hell no, far from it. However, that taught me the value of time, and I have started to respect it a lot more– mine and other people’s. So drop that flaky friend, stop wasting evenings waiting for that fuckboy to call you back, leave that dead-end job where you aren’t learning shit. Analyze your daily habits and CUT whatever does not serve you; replace it with something enjoyable or something that teaches you something. For me, it meant a lot more books and a lot less aimless social media browsing. I still stay on Insta, but I now have set times to browse. It helps, I swear!

Birthday reflection 6:
Don’t let the disease of perfection paralyze you. She’s a b*tch.

True, whatever you want to do is worth doing well and working hard at. That said, you cannot wait for perfection to get started on … anything, really. Just fucking try shit, and learn as you go. I will use the Dafrastar example again here: I completed maybe 12 photo shoots before launching. I was/am taking a blogging class, and I could not, for the life of me, find my “niche”. My blogging instructor was honestly not that helpful; she suggested I do not launch until I did, and when I told her I wanted to focus on “affordable fashion”, she told me it was not that original and that a ton of other bloggers did it. She was correct, but I was salty; after a few days, I started stalling because I was avoiding dealing with my niche-less blog ideas. I did not touch my class materials for a month. One day, something urged me to just go for it, in spite of the advice I had received. Within 3 days, I secured a collab with my girl @dorothy.abigail, finished setting up my theme, wrote my first post and hit “Publish”. Here we are 2 months later, almost 20 posts in, and little old niche-less me is doing alright. While my instructor had a point, I am still glad I jumped in and learned how to swim. My niche will eventually come to me.

 

In celebration of her birthday, blogger @Dafrastar shares 7 things she learned in the past year.

Birthday reflection 7:
Listen and be open to change.

I ate a lot of humble pie this year. I took constructive feedback from my boss, colleagues, husband, and friends–like we all do. However, this year, something in me helped me to receive it much better than I would have– say, 5 years ago. Dunno, maybe it’s age? Perhaps it’s my husband’s influence? (he is very level headed).  Either way, I try to be permeable to advice and gentle coaching. It sucks often, but it is necessary in life and helps us grow.

 

 

On to my outfit, super quick! I put it together to recreate this picture (I am wearing the same dress in it).

I missed by chooda bangles, and for anyone familiar with Indian culture, a bride is not supposed to re-wear her choodas ever again. So I just cheated and just bought cool red bangles to wear instead.

  • My dress is a basic ass black midi dress from Boohoo. I bought it in 2015 and it is (by some kind of miracle) still available, so I assume it is one of their fixtures. It is a little sheer, but I could totally get away with tights (without too, actually). It has a bit of a deep plunge, so I would add a cami under for the office. I think the length is a perfect midi on me, and I am wearing a size 8 (I am a size 8 in real life as well.)
  • My shoes are from JustFab, and they are named Hadley. They hurt like a mother, but are so gorgeous that I do not have the heart to throw them out, even though I wore them only thrice in 3 years. They are knockoffs of these Aminah Abdul Jillil ones, and that’s what I get for buying bootleg shit. I will hopefully buy the real ones someday.
  • My bag was kindly gifted to me by @theresacotton on Instagram. She reached out to me and asked me to choose from any of her offerings, and this one caught my eye because I already had this look in mind. The bag is a good size for a clutch or a low key bag for days when a huge purse is not needed. I have been using it quite a bit (used it thrice since I have been here in London, not including this shoot) and could actually fit my iPad in it (it was a struggle though.) It has decently thick lining, so I did not fear it getting damaged inside. I wish it had an inside pocket and a longer zipper, so I could fit my tablet in without threatening to tear the bag. I am definitely going to be looking at more Ankara bags.
  • My bangles are from IndianCraftsville on Etsy and Instagram. They were made and hurried to me in record time before my trip, and I can’t thank the owner enough. I however wish they had a larger opening, as it hurts to take them out.

DASSIT!

Thanks for listining to my musings, and here’s to another year. Thanks for reading, and I will see you next week!

This look was photographed by Michelle from @MishMash_photography in London.

With Love,

D

 

 

5 tips to shop safely on AliExpress and Amazon

LONG ASS POST ALERT, grab a snack or some tea.

*this post is dedicated to clothing; I will be sharing a post dedicated to hair extensions if people express some interest in the comments.*

Hello fashionable humans!!! I am wishing you a great Monday from London!

I have not visited the city just yet (I mean I just landed yesterday) but I will be popping the travel section’s cherry 🍒soon, with pictures from the city and vague touristy thoughts!

With the holidays around the corner, every blogger worth their salt is about to start sharing cool gift buying guides and shit. Not me; gift giving is hard and I struggle to give meaningful gifts to anyone, even (and especially) to my closest friends and family. So no. Actually, let’s all go look at other people’s gift guides- recommendations are welcome in the comments!

That said, if there is one thing I know how to do, it is to stretch the shit out of my dollars. I have to make my bucks go a LONG way because I stay shopping.Mr. Dafrastar has me on a budget, but that just made me very creative in looking for cheaper ways to buy what I want. That means that Bloomingdales and Neimans aren’t an option for my wallet, so I have to satisfy my “look fabulous” cravings on the low. Enter Amazon, AliExpress, Zara, Boohoo, NastyGal, Poshmark and all of those (albeit small)  money leeches.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!

Anywho, my top 3 money pits *ahem* I mean SAVERS are Amazon, Poshmark and AliExpress. For this post, I will be focusing on the first and last one, as my shopping strategy for them is identical (save a couple of details). Poshmark is hit or miss, and I will be dedicating a whole post to Posh finds someday. Actually, how about a series with bi-monthly finds from Amazon, Ali or Posh??? Hmmm 🤔 I like that (I clearly have a lot of conversations with myself.)

So where were we? Yes- buying clothing on Amazon and AliExpress. Here are the steps I personally follow below. Those have allowed me to be fairly successful in buying from those websites, in nailing my sizing down and generally ending up with good quality garments – at a reasonable cost. (It is worth noting that I am focusing on Asian Amazon vendors in this post; buying from US vendors is much more straightforward.) Oh- also, actually, in a roundabout way, I may help with your holiday shopping, because I may help you save money on gifts. Ta-da!!!!!

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
An AliExpress find. Love its movement and flowy-ness.
Find this dress here

1st step: Let go of misconceptions: everything from China isn’t cheap, quality or price wise.

Buying from China has a pretty shitty connotation; it is usually associated with very poor clothing quality and overall pretty comical letdowns. Honestly though, it’s for a good reason: for a good laugh, just Google prom dress horror stories, preferably with juxtapositions of listing images vs. actual products. Some of those are COLD (and, you know, therefore hilarious.)

If you need more proof that buying from China can be risky business, Patricia Bright actually filmed a series of videos ordering from popular (mostly Asian ) websites. Some of the things she received will make you gasp- and then dissolve in fits of giggles. She is so funny about it, you can’t help but laugh/snort your way through her unpacking.

THAT SAID,☝🏿 she did score a few amazing items, which shows that everything is not all bad (she even wore a dress to a red carpet event). I personally scored some of my most prized sartorial possessions from AliExpress and Amazon, so I would say that the key here is research, which we will cover below. There are also some extremely high-quality items on Ali that cost a NICE chunk of change, but you have to look for them.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
An AliExpress find. Love its movement and flowy-ness.

2- Unless you want to take risks, do NOT order any items with no/very few orders/reviews.

Unless you have ordered from a seller before and are comfortable with their quality, it is a gamble to order an item nobody ordered before, or an item without clear reviews.

After entering my description in the search bar in AliExpress, I usually sort by the number of orders and then look at the most ordered items in descending order.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!

These items are more likely to have plenty of reviews, and taking the time to comb through, say, the 20 most recent ones, allows me to know what to expect. By the way, reviews can be faked, so I make sure to only pay attention to the ones that are longer than 5 words, and more substantial than “OMG fantastic seller!” 🙄 Also, make sure 5 star reviews are not just complimenting the fast shipping- some people do that, which for the life of me I can’t understand.

On Amazon, the “top” positive and negative review feature helps a lot but it is only a pointer (see below; get to it by clicking the “see all x (number) customer reviews” link). Just like on Ali, reviews can be faked, so make sure to read more than just one positive/ critical one. I personally also make sure to seek out longer reviews, because they likely have juicy details I may be interested in. Also, with some vendors, quality changes over time, so a 5 star item last year could be a 3 today. Make sure to have a decent spread of time in the reviews you are looking at and look more at recent ones.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
This whole outfit (including the shoes) was bought on Amazon.
See outfit here, blazer here. Featured in a post here.

3- Pictures in reviews: Use them. Steer clear of items that do not have image reviews.

I use images for different purposes on AliExpress and Amazon: on Ali, they serve as a quality check on the garment, and on Amazon they help more with the fit. Make sure to look for plenty of people with the item on in different situations (just trying on, at a party, after a day of wearing) and pay extra attention to those reviews; people often say how they felt in it, whether they received compliments on their outfit, whether things fell apart, etc. Pictures will also show defects in the clothing, so make sure to browse through them.

4- Even if you do nothing else, please do this: Know your measurements.

I can’t emphasize this one enough. Asian sizes are tricky; an average size M in US sizing could be a fucking size 2-3X in Asian sizing. To make that even worse, it seems that many vendors use their own sizing systems. 🙄

However, they usually offer a measurement scale as well (often in centimeters) which will let you know which size fits what measurements, and that scale is generally quite accurate. It is usually hidden somewhere in the item description on AliExpress; on Amazon, it is sometimes in the pictures, or in the item description as well. I also THINK that if the seller(s) get(s) enough flack because people keep ordering the wrong size (especially on Amazon), they sometimes even switch to US sizing, so make sure you know which size is being referenced in the listing.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
Ali Express measurement chart example
5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
Amazon measurements example in product description

The way I personally get around all this nonsense is that I know my measurements by heart. I retake them once a month (for other reasons than shopping, lol), so they are pretty accurate at all times. The most important measurement for tops is obviously “chest”; for dresses, I usually focus on “hips” (mine are round, so they are the body part I have to accommodate for) and factor in any stretch to know whether I can size down to match my chest. “Waist” and “Hips” are obviously very important for skirts and pants, etc.

Rant Tangent– DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON PEOPLE WHO USE THEIR WEIGHT IN THEIR REVIEWS. WHY???? Like- “I am 150 lbs, I got this dress in Medium and fits like a dream!” Wait- HOW DOES THAT HELP ME, OR ANYONE??? There are many photos floating around the web showing women with the same weight and wildly varying sizes. See below- I have receipts!

I personally weigh more than most people my size (I am 176 lbs as of right now, I think), but I am a sz 8 with a 29” waist. So thanks, Jane Doe, for telling me how amazing this dress is on your 150 lbs frame, but I literally have no idea how knowing your weight helps my shopping experience or even gives me any good frame of reference. Heck- even assuming we are the same waist size, I could be a bit hippier than you, or a bit bustier. So please please please, if there is anything you get from this post, it should be to use your measurements in reviews, or at least your usual clothing size; not your weight, ma’am. *end rant*

Weight does not tell the whole story!

Weight does not tell the whole story!

Hint: for the pic above, they all weigh 154 lbs. Told ya!

5- Do not be afraid to contact the seller or ask questions to the community if you’re still confused.

On AliExpress, it is very easy to contact sellers via the listing to ask questions. I often ask for pictures of the item by itself (not on a model), ask any sizing questions I need to, and even ask whether they have sales coming up. They are pretty good at replying within a couple of days- usually less than a day even.

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
AliExpress contact location on web page

On Amazon, I first browse existing questions to find any answers I may be looking for, in case I couldn’t make a decision based on reviews only. If my question was not asked (for example, whether some pants would be long enough for my 36″ inseam), I just ask it to the community. 

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
How to ask questions on Amazon

Sellers are usually keen on answering questions because that creates a knowledge base, which in turn saves them from answering the same question ever again. The community is also pretty fast; people love talking about shit they bought, myself included! I would say I get answers to around 75% of the questions I ask on Amazon, and I always answer questions on items I bought if I can.

 

 

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!
One of my most complimented pieces of clothing ever; an AliExpress find.
This dress is available here. Listing changed for some reason, it had a lot more reviews and pictures.

6- BONUS: if you can, contact previous buyers to ask how the item is holding up.

It is not a common occurrence, but on either Ali or Amazon, every once in a while, a reviewer may leave their Instagram account in their review or have a watermark on their photo. I contacted a couple of people via DM on Instagram, and they were usually very open to sharing their experiences. I actually do that A LOT on Etsy (it’s easy to contact other members) and for purchases from Instagram stores.

FINALLY, DASSIT! If you read so far, you are a trooper and a champ and you deserve to score the very best deals on AliExpress and Amazon for the rest of your life.

Please let me know any questions you may have – as evidenced by what must be the 2,000 words above, I can talk about shopping on Ali and Amazon all day!

Thank you so much and see you on Friday!

With love,

D

 

5 tips to find and purchase great quality clothing on Aliexpress and Amazon : Blogger @Dafrastar shares her secrets!

3 simple tips to confidently rock a crop top | Featuring Shalom Design

Hey fashionable humans! We made it to the middle of the week, and I hope your day is going stellar!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comOkay, so let’s talk crop tops. They have been fashionable as long as I can remember. I distinctly recall asking (no, begging) my mother to bring me some midriff-baring tanks from a trip (I must have been like 13). Knowing her, she might have disapprovingly frowned and ignored me; that didn’t stop me though because I stayed rocking them. My guess is that, since she likely didn’t buy me any, I must have scored some from secondhand markets (I have always been into thrifting)- because my allowance definitely couldn’t afford one from a clothing store.

Anyway, I personally see them as a sassy way to show skin, and I love that you can make them as classy as you want (in my book at least). I have worn crop tops to family gatherings, dates, and any other occasion you can think of, besides the office. You can see some cropped action here, here, here and also here on this blog; I clearly like them.

The rules below are not dogmatic at all, and can/should definitely be broken to fit your personal style (I will add below some examples of other bloggers who shatter them with grace). They are just tenets I personally use to make crop tops look good on my body type, which leads me to feel more confident wearing them.

Actually, while we’re at it- what is my body type? Aw, I am so glad you asked!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comI would likely be somewhere between a pear shape, a hourglass shape and an athletic shape. I know that makes no fucking sense but stick with me for a minute. I am tall, I have full hips and a full chest, but my hips are wider than my chest (that is the textbook definition of a pear shape 🍐). My waist is also not super duper defined, even though it does exist. So I kind of look like a curvy twig in some clothes, but garments with a peplum or more padding up top allow me to decently fake a hourglass-y figure; does that make sense? I will likely dedicate a post to my body type someday (not because I am narcissistic, but because sizing is tricky when you shop online and we all need all the help we can get).

Anywho- where were we? Right, how do I usually wear crop tops?

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com1- I bare only as much skin as I am comfortable with, and that means no belly button for me.

I like baring my tummy but only to a certain extent. I am a huge fan of balance;  open on top-> covered at the bottom; fitted on top -> flared at the bottom, etc. (my mom drilled these rules into my brain when I was a kid and they never left.) Because of this balancing act, I usually like to pair crops with high waisted skirts or pants, which means that I really only stick to baring around 1/3 of my belly- from above my navel to a couple of inches below my chest. It makes me feel covered yet daring, and *most importantly* I get to eat a lot and not worry about my belly poking out to explore the world.

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com2- I try to bare only one thing at the time, at least on top.

I try to go for crop tops that offer my chest a fair amount of coverage- again, keeping with the balancing act discussed above. I do not follow this rule as religiously as Rule #1, but in case I have a cute crop top that also shows cleavage, I try to add accessories like necklaces or even a blazer to balance things out. This rule only applies to the top half of my body though; crops paired with high slit maxi skirts are hot. 🔥🔥🔥

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com3- I keep my crop tops fitted.

There is no particular reason for this one, but I feel like very loose fitting crop tops are often shapeless, ride up (exposing bewbs) and are overall hard to pull off. (Again- this is a Dafra problem because there are a lot of people who make them work beautifully). I tend to favor almost bodysuit- like crops, with a bit of thickness to them and a good amount of stretch. That explains why my favorite crop tops are actually the short version of a fitted turtleneck – to me, a basic fitted high neck crop top really works well as a closet staple. That shit works with everything.

Alright- enough yapping, on to the outfit I am wearing today!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comWhat I am wearing: Crop top set (Here), blazer (here), booties (here), necklace (here, blue version)

The set: it is super cute, and I cannot wait to wear it again! It is an orange/rust pant and crop top set; it caught my attention on Amazon months ago, but I never got around to getting it until earlier this month, which works I guess- fall colors and all. I find it to be very flattering, but people who wear 2 different sizes for tops and bottoms may have to keep in mind a little stitching may be needed. I got it in a size XL, and I have a 35”-36” chest,  a 29.5’ waist, and  44” hips.

The top: it does not cover a lot of real estate, and a couple of reviewers on Amazon could not make it work. Love it, but it was one size too large for me (I focused on the measurements for the pants when I was ordering). I added a couple of stitches either side of the top, and it fits fine, but I may contact the seller to see whether they would be open to selling me a size L.

The pants: They fit amazing. They are super high waist, long enough for me to wear with a little heel (I have a 36” inseam so that’s a quite feat), thick and opaque. They hug curves a lot and are super flattering.

The jewelry: I am pairing this pant set with a necklace from Shalom Design. To be 100% honest, this whole look was designed around this necklace- I mean LOOK AT IT! It is from my friend Laetitia’s Etsy store, and yes I paid full price for it and am not an affiliate or anything. It is entirely made out of glass beads, and I believe she has them in different accent colors (I went for orange here, but I believe she also has red and blue.) I own another (smaller) necklace from her boutique that kind of looks like this one (I bought it over 2 years ago, so it is no longer featured in her store); I routinely use it to upgrade my jeans + black tee office uniform.

The shoes: They are booties from Amazon (I really do buy most of what I own there); the brand is Breckelles. They were pretty inexpensive (less than $25), they fit true to size, are comfortable and cute! I have had them for since January of this year. The heel tab came off on the left shoe a few months ago, but I am still wearing them- whatever, they just click strangely on the floor and I am sure nobody cares. I might buy another pair in a different color, maybe the Burgundy.

The blazer: featured on the blog before, here. I maintain that I absolutely love it, and I actually bought the burgundy version last week!

That is it for today’s post guys! Do you like/wear crop tops? Do you have any rules you above by? Let me know in the comments.

Also, please see below for some bloggers following completely different rules than I do and looking fabulous.

Aliciatenise, rocking a loose crop top to perfection

Arteresalynn, baring her glorious midriff- y’all seen her six pack???

Another one, because that body is just too fabulous

NicoleSimone serving us loose cropped sweater realness

Another one– that mustard sweater is awesome

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Lacy details 🍂🍁🖤 link in biooooo 📷: @torabisud

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Also, if you don’t follow me on Insta- you should. I post fun shit.

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🍁🍁🍁🍁 EN FINE! It's fall! 😒 I resisted but I have to give up. I'm now wearing fall colors and shit.🙄 Post about my general feelings towards crop tops and how I wear them will be live at 12:00 PST. Btw peep that necklace from my boo @shalomdesign – 🔥🔥🔥 · FR OK OK! C'est l'automne! 😒 J'ai résisté mais je dois vraiment abandonner. Mon été bien aimé est vraiment fini. 🙄 Post sur mes sentiments envers les crop tops (hauts sautés) et comment je les porte en direct sur le blog à 12:00 PST. Vous pensez quoi de mon collier de chez @shalomdesign ? Trop cool, nest-ce-pas?🔥🔥🔥 · 📸 @rachelradcliffephotography · · · · · #stylediaries #outfitideas #styleguide #ootdfash #fashiongoals #stylewatch #stylebook #melaninmagic #stylehunter #outfitidea #instaootd #blackblogger #outfitinspirations #hawt_fashions #deptofstyle #fashionslayer #essencestyle #thefashionforce #browngirlmagic #trendstyle #blackgirlswithstyle #sanfranciscoblogger #melaningoddesses #melanoprime #brownsugarsocial #browngirlbloggers #browngirlswhoblog #africanblogger #africangirlskillingit #africanfashion

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3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com

 

 

Bye and see you next week!!!!

 

With love,

D

5 ways to be a GREAT friend | Ankara skirt set from SkirtsyBox

Well hello, fashionable humans, and happy Tuesday!

Instagram was being a jerk over the weekend (banned me from using hashtags or mentions for 24h), so this post is a day late because I was forced to chill a little. Also, as I was writing the previous sentence, I realized that my reasoning makes no sense; I should have posted on the blog as scheduled yesterday but shared pics on Instagram today. Whatever.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

This post is fairly personal, as I will be talking about friendships (while rocking a cute Ankara skirt!) I am not referring to the flimsy variety that fades after college, or that only comes together to party; I mean the deep kind, that goes through multiple seasons of life, several boyfriends (Mom- if you are reading this, I am talking about the other girls, I swear), shitty jobs, graduations, marriages, babies, deaths, divorces and all of life’s curveballs. (Spouses count here too, by the way.)

Those are the girls (and guys) you can spend months without talking to, but that will love you just the same when you finally call again. They are the ones that will fly across the world and couch surf to see you graduate or get married. They are the ones that will hug you through panic attacks and whisper kind words in your ear. They are the ones who will bare their soul to you because they deem you worthy. They are the ones who will always speak the truth because they want you to reach the best version of yourself. They are the real deal.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.What I am wearing: Ankara skirt set from Skirtsy Box, with matching headwrap, earrings, necklace (not pictured) and detachable peplum (not pictured); Here. Bralette, Missguided; here. Crop top, Amazon (featured in previous posts here and here.) Shoes: Guess platform pumps, old; similar here

I am an only child. That said, I have been blessed with several of those kinds of friendships. Many passed the test of time, but it took work. I stumbled often, and I am not always the greatest pal. To be honest, I am rarely available at all. The notes below are inspired by times I have messed up, or are by things I am actively working on. Because the people I love deserve it.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

Be there for them, even (and especially) when they screw up.

Was there a time in your life when you thought you knew everything? Because I can assure you I went through a phase when I was judgemental as fuck. Imagine: I had good grades, scholarships, stayed out of trouble and was THAT kid all the cousins were compared to at family dinners. For years, I developed and polished that image of “The Studious Girl”. However, a side effect was that I started feeling WAY too cool. I did NOT comprehend anyone who did not stay on the straight and narrow, because that’s all I knew. I unfortunately carried remnants of that persona to college and  I was quick to cut off anyone that did not fit my idea of a model student. I was hard to talk to because I was quick to blame people for their failures instead of just being there for them. Luckily, all my friends kicked ass in school too; if they hadn’t, my uppity self would have likely driven them all away.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

Be sensitive to their circumstances and understand their priorities. 

That one is so important. Lots of relationships and friendships end because one party is unable to deal with the fact that time inevitably brings change. If a friend matters to you enough, you have to understand that they will sometimes have to put you on the back burner because their life has taken a new turn, and that’s okay! I became an aunt in college (one of my best friends had a baby, who is now the coolest, smartest and most inquisitive little lady on the planet). Get this: around the time the baby was 1, I actually fixed my mouth to tell a common friend of ours that my friend (the new mom) was now boring because she no longer cared to hear about MY life, and only she wanted to talk about her baby… (Yes, I am swallowing a huge slice of humble pie as I type this. )

True, I was a kid, but I was so clueless! My insensitive words eventually made their way back to my friend, who iced me out for two years without even giving me an explanation. While that was also childish (she will be reading this so I have to roast her a little), my selfishness and insensitivity were definitely to blame for our rift. I am glad we were able to mend our relationship (we argued over FB messenger for 3 days straight before being okay again), but I missed a good chunk of my niece’s life because of it. I DID learn not to be an asshole in the process, though.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

Listen.

I am not a great listener outside of work. When I am working, all my senses are engaged,  I am insanely focused and I take nothing for granted. In life though, I become a walking bag of heuristics- like most people I suppose. I always assume that the same causes have the same effects, which, while logical, is still erroneous. Those assumptions cause me to sometimes half listen to people when they complain about something I ,for some reason, assume is unimportant. I mean- sure, we all have that drama queen friend always going through something or that other pal who won’t leave fuckboys alone. Those people can’t be helped.

However, we need to be careful not to dismiss other issues that could be real, just because we have somehow decided they aren’t. A good friend listens and helps you vent or strategize; she may also tell you to STFU and drop Johnny the douche, but at least she will pay attention to your words before reading you to filth.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

Always be happy for their success.

Kind of a continuation of the first paragraph; life brings different seasons, and things change. Maybe you used to have the best career and are now struggling, while your friend is now rising up the corporate ladder. Maybe your buddy is going back to school, causing them to be less available to hang out. Those situations can bring about strange feelings, causing us to feel sorry for ourselves and focus on our misery- while ignoring our friend’s achievements. While I am all for the healthy motivation brought about by witnessing someone else’s success, we should still be our friends’ biggest fans. We should be super excited for their achievements and we should celebrate the shit out of them. This blog would have never seen the light of day, had it not been for the unwavering support of 2 of my friends who push me super hard every day. They cheer me on every step of the way, hype up all my pics on the ‘gram and even stay sending me screenshots of outfit inspirations. I feel incredibly grateful to have them.

Blogger Dafrastar rocking an Ankara skirt, headwrap and earrings from Skirtsy Box. Crop top from Amazon, bralette from Missguided. Lipstick is Huda Beauty Material Girl.

Understand their goals, then push them to achieve them.

This one goes hand in hand with the point above.  Before celebration comes preparation; as a good friend, you should understand who the people in your circle are, their hopes and dreams, as well as their fears. You should be the one reminding them to watch that webinar, apply to that program or seek that grant. You should be the one to nag them when they are falling short of what they can achieve and should push them to get back in the race. You should be interested in how they are planning on reaching their goals, so you may help as needed or offer your opinion. I feel like this last one applies to spouses even more because they are supposed to be a team that encourages each other.

 

That’s a long ass post, but it is meant to be because it is reserved for the select few who have earned your trust. We likely all treat our closest friends with love and respect, but this serves as a reminder to also be invested in their lives.

On to the outfit!!!

This is the cutest skirt ever. I had it custom made by Skirtsy Box, because I am 5’11 and have a 36″ inseam; it required 4 yards of fabric, I believe. The owner, Derrica, was a pleasure to work with.

  • The skirt: Super fun, love the fabric, very airy. Perfect craftmanship. My only quibble: the pockets are very hard to find- I have to look through pleats every time.
  • The bralette: Cute, but does not offer much support at all.
  • The crop top: discussed it in this post. Love it!
  • The shoes: basic, similar ones linked above

Dassit for today, I will see you on Friday!

Also- tell me below how you support your friends, or maybe about a time you realized you needed to do better as a pal.

As always, thank you for stopping by.

Best,

D

 

Friendship does not need to cost any money, but it does require patience. After learning from her own personal experiences, Blogger @Dafrastar shares five simple ways to be the best friend you can be! #friendship #adulthood # howtobeagoodfriend #friendshiptips

 

Friendship does not need to cost any money, but it does require patience. After learning from her own personal experiences, Blogger @Dafrastar shares five simple ways to be the best friend you can be! #friendship #adulthood # howtobeagoodfriend #friendshiptips

 

Friendship does not need to cost any money, but it does require patience. After learning from her own personal experiences, Blogger @Dafrastar shares five simple ways to be the best friend you can be! #friendship #adulthood # howtobeagoodfriend #friendshiptips

 

Friendship does not need to cost any money, but it does require patience. After learning from her own personal experiences, Blogger @Dafrastar shares five simple ways to be the best friend you can be! #friendship #adulthood # howtobeagoodfriend #friendshiptips

 

Friendship does not need to cost any money, but it does require patience. After learning from her own personal experiences, Blogger @Dafrastar shares five simple ways to be the best friend you can be! #friendship #adulthood # howtobeagoodfriend #friendshiptips

3 tips for when things do not go as planned | Sheer maxi dress

*Scary movie voice* WAZZZUUUUUP????

RISE AND SHINE, FASHIONABLE HUMANS! It is Wednesday and you are already killing this week and the weekend is near and life is just great. Right? Oh, and I am wearing sheer clothes today, but I have a (flimsy) reason, explained below.

This quick midweek post is about what we can do when life kicks us in the shins and forcefully reminds us that we do not have control over much. We all have those few projects in our life we planned for incessantly, only to have them go completely sideways. As I type this, I can actually think of no less than three examples in the past few months; as a matter of fact, this dress is an (itsy bitsy and trivial) example of a plan that did NOT work out, and I’ll chat about that below.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.comWhat I am wearing: Boohoo sheer dress here, Amazon shorts here, Steve Madden sandals: similar here; Pillow here, rose gold color

So what do you do when things go to complete shit?

One: Calm the fuck down and analyze the situation.

Okay; so things are not going our way. At the first signs of failure, it is easy to panic and let the mind descend into chaos. I always urge myself to take a giant step back and detach my heart from my emotions, even just for a minute (maybe by going for a walk or taking a shower), so I may objectively assess whether the new developments are really THAT terrible.

  • Could we still have a similar outcome, just via a different route?
  • What do the unforeseen hurdles mean for us, and what are our odds of jumping over them?
  • Did the project really benefit us that much, or is the failure a blessing in disguise?

These little questions often help me breathe through setbacks and avoid reacting emotionally. Cool head, people.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Two: Take responsibility for our actions.

More often than not, plans fail because of our own lack of foresight, no matter how prepared we think we are. That’s fine; we make mistakes and learn from them. The key thing here is to actually acknowledge said errors, as there’s no point in making the same ones several times because we are too proud to admit that we screwed up. So while it feels like crap, it is necessary to truly understand the role we play in the demise of our own plans and vow to do better.

  • Could we have started work earlier on that project?
  • Did we trust the wrong people to help us, or did we let the wrong people into our circle?
  • Should we have done better research?
  • Could we have analyzed the situation better? Did we tweak it to fit our own narrative, and are now upset that reality is smacking some sense into us?

Being open to admitting our own wrongdoings is liberating because it helps us get out of our own way. I am guilty of often skipping this step when things go awry, but history has shown me that ignoring my own responsibility in my failures is like refusing to acknowledge that I gain weight when I eat candy- while blaming everyone else for my muffin top. 🙄

That said though, sometimes there is just nothing we could have done better. Things fail for no reason every once in a while, and that is perfectly okay. In those cases, it is necessary to mourn a bit, maybe mope for a couple of days, pray if religious, but eventually reach a point where we are at peace with the situation, accept the new reality and are able to see a way forward.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Three: Determine the new course of action and move on; REALLY move on.

Okay, so we’re done crying/ determining how terrible the setback is/ realizing we ain’t shit because we did contribute to the issue/ being upset at the whole world because we couldn’t even have avoided it/ etc. Awesome; now what?

Well- now we move forward while remembering the lessons, and we try to turn the situation around, somewhat salvage it or just call it a loss and move on. It could mean a lot of work, a loss of revenue or even a lost relationship, but hey- things happen.

  • Can we still work hard in that class and get an overall A even after that C or D?
  • Can we still be with that person after we gave them chance after chance after chance, only for them to keep disappointing us?
  • Can we still move to that city we love, even after the job or housing prospect fell through?

Answering those questions can be hard, but working through them is necessary to find a new way to march towards our goals or to create new ones.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

On to today’s frock:

I first saw this sheer dress on Ashleigh from @thedaileigh. She rocked the white version of it, and it looked stunning on her. I was like: “I can totally pull this off” and ordered it (it helped that Boohoo had a 50% off sale). I was super happy with myself and could not wait to get it.

It came and… was waaaay more revealing than I could handle. I actually saw the pics on the website and they are pretty accurate as far as how sheer it is, so I do even not know what the heck I was expecting. Brain fart.

I received the dress the day of this shoot and ended up wearing it as a top, but upon coming home I immediately bought a pair of mini shorts on Amazon to wear with it. Because NO MA’ AM. If that had not worked, I would have sent it back.

I have only worn it for shoots so far, but I like it and would wear it during a warm vacation. I feel like the sheer tulle is not friends with high heels (they get caught in it), but the bust is opaque and comfortable. It is also a VERY long dress. I’m wearing the size L here (I always get a L in maxis because of my height, I’m 5″11) and it still drags on the floor, even with my 4-inch heels. My only gripe is the stitches on the chest, which are very unattractive to me. Boohoo and eShaki need to be friends, as they all love torpedo boobs.

Side note: Boohoo is having a 70% off sale right now (at least they did yesterday when I was writing this) and the white version of this dress is currently $14. If you have a vacation coming or just like the dress, it’s not a bad buy.

Blogger @Dafrastar featuring a sheer black maxi dress from boohoo.com

Well- that’s all folks! Thanks as usual for stopping by, and share below what you do when life takes a strange turn!

Until next time,

D

P.S. This look was photographed by @Tracey_Mammolito in my office. I love her work.