A simple 3 point checklist to step out of your comfort zone this year

Hello hello, #fashionablehumans! Happy 2018! We made it! I dunno about you, but I am ready to crush this year super hard, in all aspects of life. I mean yeah, it is only January 5th, but whatever- I got this, and so do you! My first post of the year is therefore me chatting about stepping out one’s comfort zone and detailing how I personally do it. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. (By the way, my husband thinks this is a ridiculous expression, and he promised me $10 if I ever said it in public. I think we can all agree that this absolutely counts. Pay up, Rish!)

I have often said in my posts that everything worth having is on the other side of fear. I really stand by this little quote; the things I cherish the most are the ones I worked very hard for or the ones that took a leap of faith to accomplish. While pushing your own limits is hard, the rewards are just ridiculous. There is no greater satisfaction than doing things you thought you could not achieve. From squatting your own weight to public speaking or buffalo riding, new things personally give me a rush of happiness, especially when I NEVER thought I could do them. Unfortunately, I don’t take the  “new shit” leap all the time, but my goal for the future is to take more chances on myself.

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Full outfit detailed on www.dafrastar.com Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolgger, how to wear yellow, how to wear a yellow jacket, mustard outfit inspirationWhy do we tend to stay in our comfort zone?

It’s great for me to yap about breaking boundaries and shit, but the truth is that it is HARD to do, and even harder to do continuously. Moreover, I do not see my love for my comfort zone as an enemy, but more as my brain acting like a well-intentioned but slightly overbearing parent. Think about a mom who tries to steer you towards a safe career because she assumes that’s what you need (I told y’all about my story), a dad who insists on you going to college close to home, or parents who worry themselves sick when you travel. These are not bad people at all! They are instead loving people who just want you to stick to what they KNOW works, because uncertainty is… well, uncertain.

Staying in my comfort zone works the same way, at least in my head. I equate it to my brain keeping me from trying too many new things, so I may avoid disappointment.  I would hence argue that one can go through life always making choices that never toy with that equilibrium, and still be perfectly content.

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Full outfit detailed on www.dafrastar.com Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolgger, how to wear yellow, how to wear a yellow jacket, mustard outfit inspirationWhat I am wearing: Lilly’s Kloset jacket: here, Steve Madden sandals: here, Ambiance SF dress: Boutique here, Insta here.

Yet, why should we fight that urge?

The issue is — we should fux with the equilibrium!!!! While the above course of action guarantees us a safe and sheltered existence (to a certain extent), I honestly believe that boundary breaking is necessary to live a truly full life. I have personally learned the most from the people who were dissimilar from me, and I have felt the most enriched by traveling to places that looked nothing like home. In my personal life, forcing myself to do weird shit has helped me REALLY open my eyes to the world.  I think that makes me a better Dafra and a much better conversationalist (Cardi B tales can only get me so far at a cocktail party).

Professionally, the willingness to be uncomfortable has allowed me to stay relevant in my field. I will admit that, as a person, I HATE the status quo and am naturally obsessed with improving processes. That forces me to always question myself (in a good way), and to actively look for better ways to do what I do. While it feels like I am constantly running a marathon (I am generally looking to improve something the minute I implement it), I assure you that it has made me a better professional.

How I kick my own butt out of my comfort zone in all aspects of life

Truth is, I likely haven’t told you anything you don’t already know. However, the pull of the comfort zone is just so strong, and warm, and familiar and cozy! How do we trick our brain into letting us explore new things, so we can live our best lives??? Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but the little things below help me make fearless choices every day.

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolgger
To take on new challenges: I remind myself that I have not found my purpose yet and need to keep grinding.

I am pretty big into purpose, and I live in the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) panic that I will die without having found mine. For me, purpose is what each of us was put on this Earth to do; some people were born to be musicians, some to be doctors, some to be teachers. Think about it: can you imagine the great MJ as ANYTHING ELSE than an entertainer? Tiffany Haddish as anything else than a comedian? Mother Theresa as anything else than a humanitarian legend? Jackie Aina as anything else than… well, Jackie-Jackie-Jackie (the YT fam knows)? There are some people who just FIND their calling in life and thrive for all of us to see, while blessing the people around them with their gift. I want that for myself, and for everybody I know.

I’m not sure what mine is, though. So I keep experimenting with new things all the time, because my calling may very well be under one of those unturned stones. Finding my purpose is the reason behind this blog, and honestly the reason behind a lot of the new professional and personal challenges I take on.

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Full outfit detailed on www.dafrastar.com Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolgger, how to wear yellow, how to wear a yellow jacket, mustard outfit inspirationTo excel at things I am already doing: I trick myself into trying “just a little more”.

I do not ever recall starting anything thinking:  “I’m going to  be the best in the world at this shit.” Nah.

Instead, I often start things with the intention of simply being as good as I can. However— when I find a decent fit, I always end up pushing just a little more… and then a little more…  until I cannot help myself from trying to excel. The thing is, we usually end up liking things we are good at. That pushes us to try to be even better.  As a result, once difficult tasks end up becoming much easier. That progress, for me at least, acts as a catalyst and makes me even hungrier for excellence. This virtuous cycle is to be used to our advantage! For example, if you want to get better at reading, start reading books that you find fun. Then, pepper in some new genres, while making sure to have fun in the meantime. Next thing you know, you will be reading a healthy balance of serious and funny books in your free time. Ta-da!

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Full outfit detailed on www.dafrastar.com Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolggerTo try new fun things: I tell myself I need to try everything at least once. Also YOLO.

While I am very disappointed in myself for using YOLO, it does summarize how I feel when presented with something new. First of all, let’s all agree that regret has no place in 2018. None. Therefore, we need to take a hard look at whatever keeps us from living our best life and tell that thing (or person or hurdle) to kindly fuck off. Trying new shit is our birthright, and nothing should keep us from it— not even ourselves. I do not have kids, but if I ever do, I want to be that mom that will always be telling them tales of the places I went or the foods I ate, so that they will WANT to do the same when they grow up. That can’t happen if I stick to fried plantain.

Right now, I will admit that I am OK at this; I am trying to get WAY better. I want to plan fun dates, know all my neighborhood bars and overall live a fun life within my means. Counting on Groupon and Johnny Funcheap to help me hack the Bay Area on the low low.

Annnd, that’s kinda it… Those are the three little tenets I live by to keep myself on my toes. Let me know in the comments how you achieve constant discomfort in your life, and whether that helps you thrive!

Blogger @Dafrastar wearing a mustard net jacket from Lilly's Kloset with a boutique mini dress and Steve Madden sandals. Full outfit detailed on www.dafrastar.com Black girl magic, black blogger, Lilly's Kloset, mustard yellow inspiration, Mustard yellow jacket, Yellow outfit inspiration, sheer coat, sheer jacket, african blogger, african fashion blolgger, how to wear yellow, how to wear a yellow jacket, mustard outfit inspirationOn to the outfit of the day!

The jacket:  Let’s be real here: for a card-carrying member of the “All Black Everything” club, this coat is the epitome of discomfort. I mean, it is fucking yellow. I hate yellow with a passion (unless featured in Ankara, in which case it magically works). I never thought I would own anything in this color ever. However, I do follow Lilly on Insta and this photo of hers gave me something to think about. I mean look at it! It is heart-stopping!

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Honey Mustard 🍯 Jacket @lillyskloset

A post shared by Lilly (@accordingtolilly) on

I will not lie to you and tell you that this number is a rational purchase; it’s not, and I made peace with that shit before even hitting the “Buy” button.  It fails at being an actual jacket—it is made out of NET, for crying out loud. It does not protect my body from anything: the cold, mosquitoes, the wind, fuckboy stares— all of those go right through. But look at it though!!!! It elevated my basic ass strappy dress and sandals to a level it could NEVER reach. That’s enough for me.

The Dress: I got it majorly discounted the day after Black Friday, from Ambiance boutique in SF- it was like $20! I liked the boutique because they have a huge selection of non-basic shit- I recommend checking them out. Also- the top part of this dress is supportive enough that no bra is needed. YASSSSS!!!!!

The shoes: Basic Steve Madden sandals. Featured before on the blog, would not recommend for wider feet.

Dassit humans! I will see you next week, and I will work on posting more than once a week I swear.

Until next time,

With Love,

D

P.S: These photos were taken by Rachel Radcliffe at the Embarcardero Center in San Francisco.

What is your personal style? Find out in 6 steps

Hello hello #fashionablehumans!

Happy Tuesday, and I hope you enjoyed the weekend and are already killing this week! Are you doing anything fun or major? Let me know in the comments!

I was on Pinterest the other day, and I saw a few pins about unlocking one’s personal style. I already had “Personal Style” inked on my list of things to write about, because it is such an organic and ever-evolving thing. It took me a long time to feel like I nailed mine; shit, I still have doubts sometimes! As far as I am concerned, “Style” really does not have much to do with fashion. I define it as:

  1. Externally: one’s signature look, aka the kind of attire they are known to wear or the clothes they are often associated with (for example: Kate Winslet = bodycon mermaid gowns, Laverne Cox= dramatic dresses often featuring cutouts, the Olsen twins = oversize, boho, frilly, lacy and/or furry things.)
  2. Internally: one’s personal philosophy about how they want to look.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look

To be honest, #2 has to come first, but it takes a while to achieve. It is challenging for anyone to figure out how they want to appear to the world… Moreover,  IF they ever achieve that, nailing a consistent aesthetic as a result of it is a tall ask. We were not all blessed with Janelle Monáe’s incredible consistency (the girl has been slaying in her black and white “uniform” for YEARS, veering very rarely away from it).  For the bulk of us mere mortals, shopping is really just reduced to looking for items to wrap our bodies in, while optimizing for comfort and cuteness.

Personal style is a very… well, personal journey, but I feel like some overarching rules hold true; let’s explore them below!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
1. Forget what you are “supposed” to be wearing. This is about you.

Finding your style means really focusing on what feels right to YOU. That means letting go of other people’s opinions, of what your friends like, of what you momma thinks and even of current fashion.  Focus on yourself. What do YOU like, and how do you want to feel in your clothes? It is cool to get inspiration from other people; as a matter of fact,  if I was richer, I could literally buy anything Folake from Style Pantry ever wore —with my eyes closed— and be happy. However, make sure to be listening to your own voice a lot more than anyone else’s. It’s the only one that matters here.

2. Find your best assets and show them off (if you are so inclined)

Let me preface this by saying that it’s YOUR decision as to what your best assets are. No matter how much people like a part of your physique, you will not feel comfortable highlighting it unless you agree with them. That said, what do you like about yourself? Be greedy: pick several spots on your body worth showing off (yes, there are several, I promise you) and determine whether you are okay playing them up in your outfits. Side note: playing something up does not have to mean baring it. Jeans highlight legs nicely, and a great blazer can accentuate shoulders while keeping them covered.

If you are struggling with this exercise, take a hard look at your closet and answer these questions:

What items do I like, and what garments make me feel happy? What clothes do I feel the most confident in, and what would I wear if I wanted to look my best?

The items you pick as a result of those questions should serve as the starting point of your style journey, as they likely highlight what you subconsciously believe to be your best assets.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
3. Analyze what you gravitate towards, in real life and in pictures.

By now, you should be pretty honest with yourself about what you like or do not like (if you still feel like you are dressing for other people, remember— this is YOUR style journey, mkay?). Now hop on Pinterest (I have a few boards you may like, wink wink ), grab a fashion magazine or just head over to Instagram. Start wildly scrolling and saving/earmarking anything that catches your eye, or anything you could honestly see yourself rocking with excitement. Do not be afraid to be bold either — I mean, we are only browsing photos here. Suits, skirts, dresses, shoes, gowns, freaking bikinis- save them all. After you do that for a few minutes (or hours or days), go back to your gallery and look at your shortlist. What do you notice? Are any items the same? Do they follow a pattern (or several)? How do the outfits make you feel? Which kind of items/colors/dressing styles keep coming back? Make note of all these things, delete the few looks that aren’t quite as exciting anymore and save some more images! We’re getting somewhere!

4. Unearth the connector words.

Okay- now the moment of truth. Look at all those gorgeous outfits. Quick, describe them all in 2-3 words! “Boho, floral, flowy!” or “Monochromatic, structured, sleek!” or “Relaxed, denim, androgynous!” Ta-da, there you go! You have a style profile! *does the happy dance*

Okay, that works like 5% of the time. In case you are still perplexed, try breaking things up by clothing type. How are your dressy outfits? How about your work looks? Any resemblance amongst your casual looks? What color palette or fit do you stick to?

If that does not work either, how about we split everything by garment type? How are your dresses? Your skirts? Do they all accentuate the same area of the body? Are they mostly minis, midis or maxis? Are your jeans mostly distressed? Dark wash? Skinny or relaxed?

Whether in plain sight or a little hidden, the connection is always there. Just give yourself a large enough sample size in earmarked outfits to be able to see the patterns emerge.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look
5. Bring it home.

Whew, now that we have done the hard part, we have to adapt your aspirational style profile to your everyday life. Indeed, for example, depending on where you work, “sexy, boho, chic” may be a little frowned upon; however, it could be incorporated in your wardrobe in the form of fun accessories or floral chiffon blouses under your blazers. Alternatively, “Edgy, leather, deconstructed ” sounds like a badass style profile, but it may not work very well in a classroom; that said, a leather cuff and a studded belt may give you just enough of the look to be true to yourself while following rules. You get my point.

Start “adapting” your style profile to your daily life. If all your photos feature sky-high heels, be ready to invest in a pair OR to recreate your looks with cute flats. Same thing for designer clothing and accessories; identify what you like about your picks and recreate the look for less (see here how to score great quality clothing for less), unless you can afford a closet full of Monique Lhuillier- in which case YOU GO, GIRL!

6. Take your brand new style for a spin!

Chances are, you already have items in your closet that match your ideal style. Rock them and pay attention to how you feel in them; create new outfits with the inspiration you gathered from your research; determine whether you want to add new connector words to your description, or remove some altogether; make sure you feel gorgeous and confident; have fun!!!

And remember: at the end of the day, they are only clothes. They come off.

 

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps

Bonus: My own journey

Putting my money where my mouth is… Below is my own journey through the 6 steps above. I really did use this framework, guys! I may not have known it at the time, but this is honestly how . found my “look”.

  1. This took me a while. I listened to everyone else’s thoughts on what I should be wearing for far too long and in the end, I had no style of my own. It took a minute for me to develop my own opinions.
  2. That was easy. I have a mini torso and long ass limbs, so legs was a no-brainer. More recently, I have also been on a weight loss journey for the past six months (23 lbs so far, woohoo!) so my newfound waist has been making its way up the list as well. I also like highlighting the hourglass figure I do not have.⏳
  3. The color black; jeans; anything that makes me look hourglass-y (so yay peplums/ mermaid skirts); minis; ankara clothes; black pointy-toed pumps; ratchet Instagram boutique dresses; thigh high boots.
  4. “Sophisti-ratchet, monochromatic, ethnic, curve-enhancing”. I love to bare random body parts in a classy (ish) way, I could wear black every day of my life, and I put my legs on display a little bit 😀. I am also a boxier than I would like, so I fake the hourglass shape God didn’t give me by sporting items that nip at the waist and flare out.
  5. I do that every day.
  6. I have solidly been in this wheelhouse for 5+ years, and it somehow never feels boring.

Done! And while all that is cool, we need deets on the outfit!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
  • Top: Twist X Turn high-low eyelet blouse. I fell in love with it immediately. I bought it along with its sister in a checkered pattern– LOVE them both. I cannot see the one I am wearing on the website for sale, even though it is on the homepage- weird. That said, the ties at the waist are stupid- they make zero sense, and I had to play around with them for a while to knot them in a way that worked for me. Still, I like the silhouette, the asymmetrical design and the overall elegant yet surprising feel this top has. Only wore it once so far (for this shoot), but it is comfortable and gorgeous.
  • Skirt: ZARA. This is a black pencil skirt, but it is fighting basicness by sporting a strip of PU leather and a band of lace. It does not look like much on a hanger, but I like the way it looks on.
  • Shoes: Steve Madden; worn here, here and here. Still hate them because they compress my feet, but they sure make my legs look a mile long.
  • Bag: Céline Phantom. This impulse buy was brought to you by poor decision making in collaboration with a long day at work; I am ashamed.

Dassit!!!!

Thanks y’all so much for rocking with me, and please leave any questions in the comments!

Until next time,

D

3 simple tips to confidently rock a crop top | Featuring Shalom Design

Hey fashionable humans! We made it to the middle of the week, and I hope your day is going stellar!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comOkay, so let’s talk crop tops. They have been fashionable as long as I can remember. I distinctly recall asking (no, begging) my mother to bring me some midriff-baring tanks from a trip (I must have been like 13). Knowing her, she might have disapprovingly frowned and ignored me; that didn’t stop me though because I stayed rocking them. My guess is that, since she likely didn’t buy me any, I must have scored some from secondhand markets (I have always been into thrifting)- because my allowance definitely couldn’t afford one from a clothing store.

Anyway, I personally see them as a sassy way to show skin, and I love that you can make them as classy as you want (in my book at least). I have worn crop tops to family gatherings, dates, and any other occasion you can think of, besides the office. You can see some cropped action here, here, here and also here on this blog; I clearly like them.

The rules below are not dogmatic at all, and can/should definitely be broken to fit your personal style (I will add below some examples of other bloggers who shatter them with grace). They are just tenets I personally use to make crop tops look good on my body type, which leads me to feel more confident wearing them.

Actually, while we’re at it- what is my body type? Aw, I am so glad you asked!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comI would likely be somewhere between a pear shape, a hourglass shape and an athletic shape. I know that makes no fucking sense but stick with me for a minute. I am tall, I have full hips and a full chest, but my hips are wider than my chest (that is the textbook definition of a pear shape 🍐). My waist is also not super duper defined, even though it does exist. So I kind of look like a curvy twig in some clothes, but garments with a peplum or more padding up top allow me to decently fake a hourglass-y figure; does that make sense? I will likely dedicate a post to my body type someday (not because I am narcissistic, but because sizing is tricky when you shop online and we all need all the help we can get).

Anywho- where were we? Right, how do I usually wear crop tops?

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com1- I bare only as much skin as I am comfortable with, and that means no belly button for me.

I like baring my tummy but only to a certain extent. I am a huge fan of balance;  open on top-> covered at the bottom; fitted on top -> flared at the bottom, etc. (my mom drilled these rules into my brain when I was a kid and they never left.) Because of this balancing act, I usually like to pair crops with high waisted skirts or pants, which means that I really only stick to baring around 1/3 of my belly- from above my navel to a couple of inches below my chest. It makes me feel covered yet daring, and *most importantly* I get to eat a lot and not worry about my belly poking out to explore the world.

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com2- I try to bare only one thing at the time, at least on top.

I try to go for crop tops that offer my chest a fair amount of coverage- again, keeping with the balancing act discussed above. I do not follow this rule as religiously as Rule #1, but in case I have a cute crop top that also shows cleavage, I try to add accessories like necklaces or even a blazer to balance things out. This rule only applies to the top half of my body though; crops paired with high slit maxi skirts are hot. 🔥🔥🔥

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com3- I keep my crop tops fitted.

There is no particular reason for this one, but I feel like very loose fitting crop tops are often shapeless, ride up (exposing bewbs) and are overall hard to pull off. (Again- this is a Dafra problem because there are a lot of people who make them work beautifully). I tend to favor almost bodysuit- like crops, with a bit of thickness to them and a good amount of stretch. That explains why my favorite crop tops are actually the short version of a fitted turtleneck – to me, a basic fitted high neck crop top really works well as a closet staple. That shit works with everything.

Alright- enough yapping, on to the outfit I am wearing today!

3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.comWhat I am wearing: Crop top set (Here), blazer (here), booties (here), necklace (here, blue version)

The set: it is super cute, and I cannot wait to wear it again! It is an orange/rust pant and crop top set; it caught my attention on Amazon months ago, but I never got around to getting it until earlier this month, which works I guess- fall colors and all. I find it to be very flattering, but people who wear 2 different sizes for tops and bottoms may have to keep in mind a little stitching may be needed. I got it in a size XL, and I have a 35”-36” chest,  a 29.5’ waist, and  44” hips.

The top: it does not cover a lot of real estate, and a couple of reviewers on Amazon could not make it work. Love it, but it was one size too large for me (I focused on the measurements for the pants when I was ordering). I added a couple of stitches either side of the top, and it fits fine, but I may contact the seller to see whether they would be open to selling me a size L.

The pants: They fit amazing. They are super high waist, long enough for me to wear with a little heel (I have a 36” inseam so that’s a quite feat), thick and opaque. They hug curves a lot and are super flattering.

The jewelry: I am pairing this pant set with a necklace from Shalom Design. To be 100% honest, this whole look was designed around this necklace- I mean LOOK AT IT! It is from my friend Laetitia’s Etsy store, and yes I paid full price for it and am not an affiliate or anything. It is entirely made out of glass beads, and I believe she has them in different accent colors (I went for orange here, but I believe she also has red and blue.) I own another (smaller) necklace from her boutique that kind of looks like this one (I bought it over 2 years ago, so it is no longer featured in her store); I routinely use it to upgrade my jeans + black tee office uniform.

The shoes: They are booties from Amazon (I really do buy most of what I own there); the brand is Breckelles. They were pretty inexpensive (less than $25), they fit true to size, are comfortable and cute! I have had them for since January of this year. The heel tab came off on the left shoe a few months ago, but I am still wearing them- whatever, they just click strangely on the floor and I am sure nobody cares. I might buy another pair in a different color, maybe the Burgundy.

The blazer: featured on the blog before, here. I maintain that I absolutely love it, and I actually bought the burgundy version last week!

That is it for today’s post guys! Do you like/wear crop tops? Do you have any rules you above by? Let me know in the comments.

Also, please see below for some bloggers following completely different rules than I do and looking fabulous.

Aliciatenise, rocking a loose crop top to perfection

Arteresalynn, baring her glorious midriff- y’all seen her six pack???

Another one, because that body is just too fabulous

NicoleSimone serving us loose cropped sweater realness

Another one– that mustard sweater is awesome

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Lacy details 🍂🍁🖤 link in biooooo 📷: @torabisud

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Also, if you don’t follow me on Insta- you should. I post fun shit.

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🍁🍁🍁🍁 EN FINE! It's fall! 😒 I resisted but I have to give up. I'm now wearing fall colors and shit.🙄 Post about my general feelings towards crop tops and how I wear them will be live at 12:00 PST. Btw peep that necklace from my boo @shalomdesign – 🔥🔥🔥 · FR OK OK! C'est l'automne! 😒 J'ai résisté mais je dois vraiment abandonner. Mon été bien aimé est vraiment fini. 🙄 Post sur mes sentiments envers les crop tops (hauts sautés) et comment je les porte en direct sur le blog à 12:00 PST. Vous pensez quoi de mon collier de chez @shalomdesign ? Trop cool, nest-ce-pas?🔥🔥🔥 · 📸 @rachelradcliffephotography · · · · · #stylediaries #outfitideas #styleguide #ootdfash #fashiongoals #stylewatch #stylebook #melaninmagic #stylehunter #outfitidea #instaootd #blackblogger #outfitinspirations #hawt_fashions #deptofstyle #fashionslayer #essencestyle #thefashionforce #browngirlmagic #trendstyle #blackgirlswithstyle #sanfranciscoblogger #melaningoddesses #melanoprime #brownsugarsocial #browngirlbloggers #browngirlswhoblog #africanblogger #africangirlskillingit #africanfashion

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3 Tips to rock crop tops with confidence! | Blogger @Dafrastar rocking a crop top set accessorized with an intricate glad bead necklace. More on www.dafrastar.com

 

 

Bye and see you next week!!!!

 

With love,

D

No, I do not owe you a smile | Red sequin skirt and one shoulder top

*Hits a 1-2 step, twirls* OW!

People, we made it to Friday! I am so excited about this post, not because I have anything groundbreaking to share, really- but because I am wearing sequins! I look ready to party!

Sidenote: In reality, I am sitting at home with my hair in a puff, drinking peppermint tea and wearing a sheet mask. Classy.

 

Dafrastar wearing a red / burgundy midi pencil sequin skirt and a one shoulder long sleeve ruffled top from Zara

So I want to share something that upset me enough to still remember it after a couple of days. The other day, I was minding my own business on Instagram (a friend told me that the very nature of Instagram makes this sentence an oxymoron but WHATEVER) when a *gentleman* (I would like to say something else but Jesus died for my sins and I need to do better)  took upon himself to TELL ME under one of MY PICTURES that I should smile more. Excuse me Sir,  who sent you, and who exactly are you talking to?

Dafrastar wearing a red / burgundy midi pencil sequin skirt and a one shoulder long sleeve ruffled top from Zara

Truth is, I have realized that I rarely smile in pictures, especially blogging ones. I mean yeah, I sometimes do (the pics in this post are evidence enough), but posing is hard y’all! I am actually dying of laughter in the pic above because I attempted a cross legged model-esque pose @joyofodu taught me, resulting in me almost rupturing my neck. This shit does not come naturally to anyone, at least not to me! I stay mean mugging because I need to focus on not falling on my face!

Anywho, that point notwithstanding, I still believe that I do NOT owe a smile to anyone, at any point of time, ever. Think about the guys who think they have the right to catcall in the streets, asking ladies to smile more? NO SIR, I wear my RBF with pride. Also, my teeth are busy at the moment.

Dafrastar wearing a red / burgundy midi pencil sequin skirt and a one shoulder long sleeve ruffled top from ZaraWhat I am wearing: Skirt, Nasty Gal or Asos,  (old), similar here, here and here (this one costs as much as some people’s rent, and I am very confused as to why it exists); Top, ZARA, here, similar here; Shoes, Steve Madden, similar here. I got mine from DSW; Bag, Dili Haat, Delhi. Similar here

I generally get very aggravated when people tell me about shit women “should do more”, especially people who do not identify as female. Like, no. Just no.

You somehow thought highly enough of yourself to decide what another group of people you are not part of ought to be doing to please YOU more? Like wow… are you Idris Elba or Kofi Siriboe? No? Then go have several seats. As a matter of fact, go have an entire church pew of seats over there. (Idris or Kofi should not say anything like that either btw- not a good look.)

I will get into the outfit in a second, but a quick checklist for anyone who believes at any point of time that their opinion is needed on issues that do not concern them, or on a behavior that does not affect them (or anyone, for that matter):

  • How do you know better, if you are not part of the group in question, or walking in the target individual’s shoes?
  • Why are you an expert?
  • Did anyone ask for your opinion?
  • Are you just looking for people to fit your own ideologies?

I you answered shakily to any of these questions, see gif above. I (or anyone you are attempting to dole your tired wisdom at) am not responsible for making you feel comfortable. BYE.

Dafrastar wearing a red / burgundy midi pencil sequin skirt and a one shoulder long sleeve ruffled top from ZaraWhew . Okay, I’m done with the rant.

So- let’s move on to the outfit!

The skirt: I have owned this skirt for ages (I’ve had it so long that I actually featured it in an OOTD video in 2012 , when I was still on YouTube!) and it’s always been hard to make it work. I mean it’s pretty and all and the sequins sparkle, but the elastic waistband does a girl no favors. Like none. It will dig into your skin and give you a muffin top, with or without a shirt tucked in. It refuses to lay low like its other waistband-y friends and WILL MAKE ITS PRESENCE KNOWN. Which is why I would recommend a skirt without one, or at least without so much elastic tension.

The shirt : it’s cool;  this shoot was the first time I wore it. It’s comfortable, sturdy, not see through, and I would see myself wearing it more. It comes with a pencil skirt too, for when I want to be all matchy-matchy and classy and shit.

The shoes are Steve Madden (I have a problem with this guy, clearly. Perhaps it’s because the brand is sold a lot at DSW and has a size 11 that actually makes sense for my feet.) Their shoes are usually less than $50, last a while and generally look cute. Winner in my book!

The bag: Featured here as well; found a pretty close dupe, link above.

Dafrastar wearing a red / burgundy midi pencil sequin skirt and a one shoulder long sleeve ruffled top from ZaraDassit! We are done for today guys! Have a stellar weekend, and I will hopefully see you on Monday!

Thanks for stopping by!

D

Pajamas or day clothes? Skinny jeans and white silk kimono duster

So what happens when you wear a robe outside of your room? Not a damn thing. You just look really cool.

Hello beautiful people;  I hope you are having a stellar day. I am wedging in a little mid-week post on this fine Wednesday. Let’s see how that goes! 🙂

So did I mention I am married? (My husband has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but it is worth mentioning that he is a kind soul who feeds me burgers in spite of being vegetarian and buys me a lot of bubble tea.) My wedding was 2 years ago and it was an epic party, with a lot of outfit changes (we shall re-visit that topic one day). However- the first outfit I donned for my nuptials was actually a silk robe/ kimono I was meant to take pictures in with my bridesmaids (that never happened, because hair and makeup ran epically late.)

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

After getting married, I hung the robe in my closet and fondly looked at it sometimes. At some point last year, I saw all Instagram baddies rocking peach/pale pink/light gold and other similarly pastel colored silk  kimono dusters on my timeline. I remember wanting to jump on that bandwagon ASAP, but somehow getting distracted.

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

Fast forward a few months- one day some weeks ago, I was feeling dejected by my jeans+tee work uniform and decided to be wild and add something crazy to it. I laid my eyes on the robe, recalled the gorgeous ladies from my timeline, thought I could totally do it too, prayed for nobody to call me out on my bullshit and just went for it. I only forgot one thing- that day, I was at a meeting that was being broadcasted to my whole company, and I had the nerve to get up and ask a question wearing a robe in public (sometimes I amaze myself.) Guess what- people actually told me they liked the look- it totally passed for a kimono/caftan. BOOM- that’s what you call a WIN, people, accidental or not!

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

So yeah- I wore it 2-3 more times since then, and I have been loving it. It is such a simple thing to throw on top of jeans, dresses (wore it with a racerback tank dress on Sunday)  and even mini skirts! I feel like the rewards outweigh the efforts by far, because it elevates looks from “meh” to a “cool as shit”. It makes me feel boudoir chic, like I am some contessa gracing mere mortals with her presence (… if contessas had to take the train to work every day, that is.) It is clearly a robe, but I honestly feel like it can absolutely pass as a printed duster, like this one, this one or even this one. And have you seen the ZARA pajama set that drove everyone nuts this season?? I was too late to get my hands on it, or you better believe I would have worn that as regular clothing too.

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimonoWhat I am wearing: Top: Aliexpress, here | Jeans: Lucky Sasha Super Skinny, here | Shoes: Steve Madden Daisie, here | Silk robe: Aliexpress ( could not find the exact one I bought, but there’s tons of them): Similar here| Choker: Zara, sold out but available here| rings: Amazon, here

Quick thoughts on the ‘fit:

  • Top: Not the worst top in the world. Already worn 3x, still holding up. Not bad for $10, but quality is obviously very average.
  • Jeans: Always loved Lucky Jeans; I buy them in bulk (read trough the hyperbole: I buy three) every Black Friday.The Sasha fit is nice, but I feel somewhat constricted in it sometimes, especially when the stretch is low (I am a bit hippy). I like the Lolita fit better. Too bad Lucky Brand does not believe in diversity in their ads- I get very annoyed at the booklets they send me in the mail; at least try a little, people!
  • Shoes: we’ve been over them in previous posts. They are uncomfortable and I hate them, but they do make my legs look longer, so I keep smiling through the pain.
  • Robe: Love it! I mean- for the cost, you can’t really do better.

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

So that’s it for a quick Wednesday post! I have half a mind to purchase more silk dusters, because I feel like they are the lazy girl’s way of looking somewhat put together. I would like to get one in caramel/gold or blush pink because I feel like these shades would compliment my skin tone.

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

And to finish off this post- here is a quick shot of me actually wearing this robe on my wedding day.

Wearing a fun silk duster is a simple way to bring a look from good to fierce! And guess what- some robes can double as dusters! #duster #skinnyjeans #darkjeans #denim #silkduster #silkrobe #kimono

Thanks for stopping by today- see you soon!

Drop me a note below with any thoughts!

 

D

Sheer bodysuit and fringe skirt (outfit under $45)

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This look was shot by @agesimagery in San Francisco.

Coming up with a title for this post was hard as shit (as I am writing this, I actually gave up and will likely revisit the title before I hit “Publish”).

So now that we are past the stage fright of Post 1 and 2, I actually have to come up with content and write funny /insightful things for you guys, which is much scarier. That said, while I am no writer, I actually enjoy putting my thoughts on paper. Here’s to hoping they are as funny to you as they are to me. 🥂

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

So I am bringing you the first look I ever shot (well technically the second one, but the first one may never see the light of day- I was stiff as hell.) This was back in June or July I believe (this blog has been in the works for a while, guys). I genuinely like each piece portrayed here and they are all very affordable- well, IF you can find them.

Random: you know how sometimes, some things are in the making for years and years? Like- how you finally get a chance to bust a move you practiced with your bestie when you were teenagers- but at a party years later?  Or when watching endless episodes of Law & Order SVU actually translates into you understanding some otherwise puzzling legal lingo (Horrible Bosses FTW!) ?

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit, stilettosAnyways: this is outfit could be seen as the clothing version of such events. When I tell you I owned this skirt for a good 2-3 years without ever wearing it… I believe I moved houses with it twice (definitely at least once). I just could not make it work for some reason; it looked great on its own, but when I tucked tops into it,  it looked strange;  leaving them untucked on top of it looked silly too, so it was in that weird limbo and was always passed over when I was looking for something to wear. I almost gave it away to Goodwill once, but the color was just so bright and perfect and awesome that I just couldn’t.

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfitSidenote: BTW I have NO idea where I got it from- I know it was a basic store like Forever 21/ H&M/ Zara but I have ZERO clue where I actually bought it; I am positive it was less than $20 though (I usually remember cost because I am very price sensitive 😀 ) . I googled it to no avail- the only other place  saw it was on Marie from Heartfelt Hunt. That tells us the skirt also exists in Europe, but so do the 3 stores above- so yeah, that does not help at all. I have a similar one listed below though …😬

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfitWhat I am wearing: Bodysuit (here), crop top underneath (Here– I love it, wore it several times already) and skirt (similar here ). Shoes here, got mine from DSW

Anyway- fast forward to last June: I wore it for the first time on vacation, and it somehow worked! I have no idea what was different; maybe it was my body, maybe the skirt just decided to stop being a little b*tch, I dunno- but I was happy with the end result! So fresh from that high (I solidified my resolve to re-start blogging during my vacation), I decided to shoot it as one of my first looks. Aaaaaand… things went downhill from there.

The top I had worn it with on vacation didn’t really do it for me anymore and the crop top I had planned to wear it with made me feel like my tummy was oozing out from all directions (that’s what happens after eating everything in sight for a week, I suppose.)

So as I was frantically looking for an option, I came across this random sheer turtleneck bodysuit I had also owned for a while (since 11/2016, to be  exact) and had never worn for some reason. I threw it on top of the crop top I initially had in mind, and ta-da!

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

The nitty gritty:

The top: Sheer, sexy, and less than $10. Do not sleep on Ali Express… Shopping there takes some skill and patience, but seriously- $9 including shipping? Worth it. I may make a post one day dedicated to my Ali findings.

The skirt: bold, bright, super fun. Its combination with the see thru top definitely made the outfit sassy, but the presence of a crop top underneath the sheer fabric brought it back a bit from risqué territory. Like- you could wear this to dinner with your mom, and she would (likely) not wonder where she went wrong in your upbringing. I also felt like my legs looked really nice, because they were playing peekaboo behind the red strings; I liked that shit.

About that crop top– LOVE. I just realized I have not one, but two looks coming up featuring this little thing. It is $16 on Amazon- I love it under other pieces like here, by itself, with a bralette, whatever.

So let’s tally the costs for a minute: $20 + $9 + $15= $44. Boom. (I cheated and did not include the shoes but everyone has random black shoes in their closet. Plus I hate these.)

Shoes: basic ass black pumps, and they hurt like hell. If I was to re-wear this look though, I would have worn black sandals like these ones. The pumps made it a little too serious.

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

Overall, in spite of being a scramble, the look was pretty fun and well balanced. It was a simple and easy look to shoot for a first timer (not that I am an expert right now- but I was SUPER green then), and I would wear it again to drinks with the girls for example.

That’s it for today’s post! Thanks for visiting my blog; drop me a quick comment and tell me about an outfit years in the making, or a piece that you just can’t seem to make work. Or talk about your dog, that’s cool too.

See ya next time,

D

Look photographed by @agesimagery. Check out his work on Instagram.