3 Tips to Get Back on Track after Failure

Wassup wassup #fashionablehumans !

Just came home from sunny Ouagadougou, where I was to celebrate my cousin’s wedding!!!! I was super excited to be back home, see my parents, family and friends, and also EAT EVERYTHING! Real talk, by the week before I left, I had already sent my mom a list of allllll the things I needed to eat during my stay. I came correct!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

While I am super fortunate to travel often (this trip brought my count to 4 countries and 4 continents in the past 6 months), being on the go all the time takes its toll, and unfortunately‚ÄĒ Dafrastar often gets the short end of the stick (I have not posted in a fucking month). I often find myself falling asleep at my computer (like right now ūüėā) while blogging. I also mostly work at night, so sometimes I don’t even make it to my computer AT ALL. While I believe that resolutions are obsolete (you may read more on that here), I do have serious goals for the blog in 2018. For example, I aim to post quality content twice a week (as well as stick to a Tuesday & Friday uploading schedule). I believe and trust I will eventually succeed at this, but MAN has it been challenging. I can confidently say I have failed at it so far.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

Needless to say, some days I just feel an overwhelming annoyance with myself. How dare¬†I need more than 4 hours of sleep a day? How come I do not have a perfectly organized editorial calendar, with content planned for the next zillion weeks? How come I can’t churn out twelve viral posts per minute, while also slaying my career, keeping full edges and rocking clear skin? WHY? Ugh.

The summary of this tirade is: sometimes I get fucking tired and discouraged of failing at my goals. Life is pretty much the art of juggling shit,¬† and one invariably has to fall behind somewhere. For me, not hitting my posting schedule for the blog makes me anxious. Anxiety, in turn, makes me catatonic and prone to avoidance; I just want to give everything up and run away. I guess that’s why the expression “falling off the wagon” exists… We all have lives, and side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing their way away from our overwhelmed asses.

(…) side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing away from our overwhelmed asses.

Therefore, some days I do have to dig deeeep to remain motivated/ get back on track after failing. The tips below help me do it and remain somewhat sane; they are how this blog post is live today, and how many more will see the light of day. These tips apply to everything in life, as far as I am concerned: exercise routines, nutrition, dance classes, skin care… pretty much anything in your life requiring continuous commitment and effort. Let’s jump into it!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

1- The path to success is not straight. The ones who make it are the ones who understand that failure is part of the game.

 

This is something we should all remember more often.

 

You likely saw this picture around the internet somewhere. Success and failure go hand in hand; that’s just the truth. Even the greatest athletes have off days, weeks or even years. Does that mean they should stop? Nope, and neither should you. Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. We have to accept it and learn from it, but more than everything, we have to let it fuel our comeback. I will be the first one to admit that failure sucks. Up until this day, not succeeding at something leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. That said, in 2017, I learned to hold myself to high standards and not let failure define me. It was such a liberating moment! I pretty much gave myself the permission to fail as long as I kept getting up and trying harder. Guess what: the areas of my life I applied this rule to¬†saw more success in 2017 than any other year before.

LESSON: Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. (…)¬†Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

2- Remember: Progress is much better than perfection

This is squarely targeted to people who also suffer from my ailment, the accursed disease of perfection. In our heads, we are failing everyone including the Queen of England if we do not execute things exactly at the time we planned them, with grace, poise and excellence. However, life (and especially work) taught me that the sentence above is the devil, and the devil is a lie. Think about it: visualize yourself making a quilt, or a sweater, or some other shit that requires a large time investment. Making a quilty-square (you know exactly what I’m trying to say) per day may be your initial goal, but you may end up making 4 squares a week (because life), or a couple of your squares could be kind of crooked. Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY. You would keep sewing that shit until it was done and chilling on your guest room bed. That analogy applies to life: a crooked quilty square does not mean you stop; it means you learn where to put your needle to make better squares and keep it moving.

LESSON: Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t,¬† still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project.

Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t, still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project.¬†Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

3- You likely learned a thing or two on your break.

Let’s assume you took an unplanned break from working towards your dream, or maybe stayed on the ground a little longer than usual (due to a particularly vicious setback). Guess what? Chances are, you will get back on the horse with a refreshed mind, renewed purpose, or even better ideas/more drive than before. Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. It helps you reset, think about things differently, and maybe even finally grasp something that kept eluding you before. While this is not reason enough to take a hiatus, it is definitely a non-negligible benefit.

LESSON: If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Hang in there, peeps. Just hang in there, and never think that falling off the wagon does not mean you can catch the next train. Bonus: you may even ride in the first class coach.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

On to the outfit we are rocking today! This look was initially shot as a part of my Fall 2017 Trends series, to represent for the fringe and fishnets trends. Never got around to posting it. Welp.

The top: I LOVE it (featured in my sequin skirt lookbook as well). It has the right balance of sass and comfort, and I love that the drama is limited to the sleeves (dunno why, but I dig that shit.) I will likely wear it until it falls apart. That said, I still can’t find a link to it for the life of me, so here are 2 similar options here and here. Sowee!

The skirt: I am also in love with this puppy. It is a simple faux leather A-line mini skirt from Zara, and it can be worn so many ways. Maybe I should feature it in a post?…ūü§Ē¬†I rocked it with a turtleneck, an¬†oversized shirt, a tee, a sheer bodysuit… it can do it all. I even wore it with thick tights and a sweater to work, and upped the casual vibe with some sneakers. I’m telling you, it is a jack of all trades.

The boots: they are the Steve Madden Gorgeous, and they are bae; I spoke about them here, and somehow never got a chance to feature them on the blog until now. They are a size 10 (I wear 10.5) so they are a smidgen tight but manageable. I love them with jeans, they make my legs look a mile long.

The fishnets: pretty ordinary ones, get the job done. I would have bought cuter ones if I had given it more thought.

That’s it for this post folks! Please tell me below; how do you manage to get shit done, or how do you motivate yourself to keep going after you fall? Let’s share tips so we can all crush goals this year!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

4 genius ways to wear a sequin maxi skirt

Wassup #fashionablehumans !!!!

It’s a beautiful day today in the Bay (I am full of shit- I am currently in Asia so there could very well be a blizzard in San Francisco and I would be none the wiser); how are you guys doing? Stellar, I hope!

So the holidays are around the corner! Y’all about to be hitting parties and shit, drinking champagne (or vodka, whiskey,¬† beer or sparkly apple juice- I equally support all beverage choices) and looking super cute. It’s time for all the LBDs to come out of hiding, the ugly sweaters, and even the gowns. It is truly the most glamorous time of the year, unless for those of you who get to go to balls and galas often (let it be known that I am very jealous of you.)

That said, guess who (or really, what) will also be everywhere this holiday season? Sequins. Listen‚ÄĒ these guys have somehow branded themselves as THE accessory to rock at every glam party, and guess what: I’m not mad at them. Therefore, even though sequins are the Starbucks of holiday wear (they are every-fucking-where), they are also… well, the Starbucks of holiday wear (reasonably expected to provide decent coffee¬† glam through your holiday party circuit.) They deserve some respek!

Last tangent, I swear; I’ll get into the outfits in a minute, but who here remembers the first time they saw sequins? My earliest memories of seeing sparkly dresses are linked to music stars; when I was 4-5, I remember seeing a sequin dress on the Ivorian singer Nayanka Bell at a live show. She was also wearing bedazzled shoes like these and that WAS IT‚ÄĒ sequins became the highest level of glam one could achieve in my mind, kind of like the Super Saiyan of clothing. I did change my mind since then though, thankfully.

So since sequins are LIT, I am bringing about a quadruple threat of sequined attire today;¬†y’all¬†better watch out! (I mean not really, it just sounded good in the sentence). Sequin mermaid maxi skirts are all over Pinterest and I¬†definitely felt like I needed one in my wardrobe after seeing them featured in some pretty amazing outfits. Plus‚ÄĒ sequins have started making their way into weddings too, so I am justifying my purchase by the fact that they will be in fashion for a while more, hence calling this skirt an investment. Boom. See how easy it is to rationalize doubtful decisions? Please don’t be like me.

Let’s hit that sequin extravaganza!

The rocker chic sequin skirt look / Girls holiday bash

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

This look is for the girl who cannot be too bothered with a super duper glam outfit. She’s cool, will rock a little bit of sequin, but needs to balance the look out with something edgy. I would wear this out to a holiday bash with my girls because, while I love sequins, the leather jacket ups the casual/rocker chic factor and helps the look not cross into “overdressed” territory. Moreover, I am also rocking a tube top here; kinda hard to try any less. Don’t get me wrong, I overdress often and enjoy the heck out of it, but I also find a¬†certain understated elegance in dressing super fancy items down. Truth is, I wanted to wear this look with silver sneakers, but I forgot to change shoes and shot with black pumps instead‚ÄĒ which still works.

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion bloggerWhat I am wearing: Skirt, here (Alana is awesome); jacket, thrifted; similar here, here, here, and if you are up for it, hit Poshmark; tube top, here; shoes, here, hoops: here
The sophisticated sequin skirt look/ Holiday gala

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

This look is all about playing with textures, in this case contrasting the fringe with the sequins. I think it is likely the most “haute” look of all four, and I find the result to be very regal; for some reason, sequins and fringe go very well together in my opinion (even though I have seen some less than optimal pairings.) This look is for the girl who is bold, yet calmly confident. While guaranteed to be a head turner, it is also very polished (reminds me of this Marchesa gown a bit.). I would wear this at a fancy holiday party with a dress code from Festive to Black Tie (I learned these for this post, I did not even know Festive existed until 5 minutes ago)

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion bloggerWhat I am wearing: Top: ZARA- for some strange reason, I can find it nowhere, even though I bought it this season. Here is a couple of similar ones: here and here; Belt, here. Same shoes as above.
The classy sequin skirt look/ Office Holiday Party

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

This is literally (WAY) the dressed up version of an office look. A sequin skirt has enough drama to stand on its own, so to make it a tad more formal, adding a blazer could be a great move. In this very case, I feel like a jacket with some interesting elements would make the look stand out even more; the blazer I am using features power shoulders, double lapels and a high-low peplum in the back. Okay- that’s a lot, but it works! I also accentuated my waist with a leather obi belt- looks fun and cinches me in, since my jacket is actually one size too large.

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

Shoe-wise, I would pair this look with simple black shoes- sandals or pumps. I am not a matchy-matchy person (actually, I find the process of matching anything abhorrent), but you guys know black is BAE. I will highlight that Folake from Style Pantry has featured a similar look years ago– check it out! I honestly did not even realize I was channeling her until I had put my outfit together.

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion bloggerWhat I am wearing: Blazer: Amazon, featured here– it is my favorite blazer; Belt, very old, no idea where it’s from. Similar here and here. Same shoes as above.

 

The monochromatic sequin skirt look/ NYE Glam Party

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

When in doubt, just go monochromatic. It elevates all looks to the status of super polished without even trying. I have been really into monochromatic dressing this year (see here, here, and here), and I do not see myself stoppin anytime soon.

I knew I wanted a monochromatic component in this roundup, but I also kind of wanted to highlight my waist (also I do not have any silver shoes, LOL). I ended up breaking the look a bit with a belt, as well as accessorizing the ‘fit with black sleek sandals. As far as purse choices, I bounced back between 2: a simple black clutch, and a sassier silver bedazzled number (graciously offered to me by my friend K. on my birthday). This look is the quintessential NYE look in my mind: shiny, breezy and classy. I can literally see a glass of champagne in my hands in these photos; can’t you?

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion bloggerFashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion bloggerWhat I am wearing: Bodysuit: H&M, thrifted- listings of the same one here¬†(M) and here (S); similar here, here¬†and here. Belt: here; Shoes: Steve Madden Stecy,¬†here; clutch, Francesca’s; silver version of this one.¬†Black clutch, very old; similar woven detail here¬†and interesting option here.

Alright- a quick roundup of each item, and we’re dunzo.

  • Skirt: Love it. Had it made to my own measurements in gunmetal by Etsy seller LoveAlanaSparkle. Great experience, but the sequins are sharp as hell and I would recommend hoisery or thin leggings underneath. A plus if it’s cold anyway.
  • Tube top: I mean , it’s a tube top. Opaque enough, no support if you’re busty. Stretchy spandex-like fabric.
  • Fringed top: Love it, featuring it in an upcoming post as well. The middle part is t-shirt like, so I would say it’s a little cheaper than I would like, but it makes up for it in pozzazz. Still can’t find the link, options above.
  • Pumps: Featured several times on the blog (1, 2, 3). I still hate them.
  • Sandals: They are cute but not meant for wider feet. Featured here¬†too.
  • Belt: Nice wide belt, snaps in the back. Would not recommend for a waist smaller than 28, if you are going for the “cinched¬†in ” look.
  • Blazer: Great peplum blazer with fun accents. It is my favorite blazer.
  • Clutch: Love it, it’s very shiny and therefore stands out. Have not taken it out yet, so I cannot speak to how much it holds.

Dassit!

Thanks, as usual, for stopping by! Drop me a note and let me know which look you would rock!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

 

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

 

Fashion blogger @Dafrastar details 4 ways to wear a sequin skirt. More on www.dafrastar.com Sequin skirt, sequins, holiday look, sequin maxi dress, sequin outfit inspiration, holiday outfit, maxi skirt inspiration, black fashion blogger

What is your personal style? Find out in 6 steps

Hello hello #fashionablehumans!

Happy Tuesday, and I hope you enjoyed the weekend and are already killing this week! Are you doing anything fun or major? Let me know in the comments!

I was on Pinterest the other day, and I saw a few pins about unlocking one’s personal style. I already had “Personal Style” inked on my list of things to write about, because it is such an organic and ever-evolving thing. It took me a long time to feel like I nailed mine; shit, I still have doubts sometimes! As far as I am concerned, “Style” really does not have much to do with fashion. I define it as:

  1. Externally: one’s signature look, aka the kind of attire they are known to wear or the clothes they are often associated with (for example: Kate Winslet = bodycon mermaid gowns, Laverne Cox= dramatic dresses often featuring cutouts, the Olsen twins = oversize, boho, frilly, lacy and/or furry things.)
  2. Internally: one’s personal philosophy about how they want to look.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look

To be honest, #2 has to come first, but it takes a while to achieve. It is challenging for anyone to figure out how they want to appear to the world… Moreover,¬† IF they ever achieve that, nailing a consistent aesthetic as a result¬†of it is a tall ask. We were not all blessed with Janelle Mon√°e’s incredible consistency¬†(the girl has been slaying in her black and white “uniform” for YEARS, veering very rarely away from it).¬† For the bulk of us mere mortals, shopping is really just reduced to looking for items to wrap our bodies in, while optimizing for comfort and cuteness.

Personal style is a very… well, personal journey, but I feel like some overarching rules hold true; let’s explore them below!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
1. Forget what you are “supposed” to be wearing. This is about you.

Finding your style means really focusing on what feels right to YOU. That means letting go of other people’s opinions, of what your friends like, of what you momma thinks and even of current fashion.¬† Focus on yourself. What do YOU like, and how do you want to feel in your clothes? It is cool to get inspiration from other people; as a matter of fact,¬† if I was richer, I could literally buy anything Folake from¬†Style Pantry¬†ever wore ‚ÄĒwith my eyes closed‚ÄĒ and be happy. However, make sure to be listening to your own voice a lot more than anyone else’s. It’s the only one that matters here.

2. Find your best assets and show them off (if you are so inclined)

Let me preface this by saying that it’s¬†YOUR decision as to what your best assets are. No matter how much people like a part of your physique, you will not feel comfortable highlighting it unless you agree with them. That said, what do you like about yourself? Be greedy: pick several spots on your body worth showing off (yes, there are several, I promise you) and determine whether you are okay playing them up in your outfits. Side note: playing something up does not have to mean baring it. Jeans highlight legs nicely, and a great blazer can accentuate shoulders while keeping them covered.

If you are struggling with this exercise, take a hard look at your closet and answer these questions:

What items do I like, and what garments make me feel happy? What clothes do I feel the most confident in, and what would I wear if I wanted to look my best?

The items you pick as a result of those questions should serve as the starting point of your style journey, as they likely highlight what you subconsciously believe to be your best assets.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
3. Analyze what you gravitate towards, in real life and in pictures.

By now, you should be pretty honest with yourself about what you like or do not like (if you still feel like you are dressing for other people, remember‚ÄĒ this is YOUR style journey, mkay?). Now hop on Pinterest (I have a few boards you may like, wink wink ), grab a fashion magazine or just head over to Instagram. Start wildly scrolling and saving/earmarking anything that catches your eye, or anything you could honestly see yourself rocking with excitement. Do not be afraid to be bold either ‚ÄĒ I mean, we are only browsing photos here. Suits, skirts, dresses, shoes, gowns, freaking bikinis- save them all. After you do that for a few minutes (or hours or days), go back to your gallery and look at your shortlist. What do you notice? Are any items the same? Do they follow a pattern (or several)? How do the outfits make you feel? Which kind of items/colors/dressing styles keep coming back? Make note of all these things, delete the few looks that aren’t quite as exciting anymore and save some more images! We’re getting somewhere!

4. Unearth the connector words.

Okay- now the moment of truth. Look at all those gorgeous outfits. Quick, describe them all in 2-3 words! “Boho, floral, flowy!” or “Monochromatic, structured, sleek!” or “Relaxed, denim, androgynous!” Ta-da, there you go! You have a style profile! *does the happy dance*

Okay, that works like 5% of the time. In case you are still perplexed, try breaking things up by clothing type. How are your dressy outfits? How about your work looks? Any resemblance amongst your casual looks? What color palette or fit do you stick to?

If that does not work either, how about we split everything by garment type? How are your dresses? Your skirts? Do they all accentuate the same area of the body? Are they mostly minis, midis or maxis? Are your jeans mostly distressed? Dark wash? Skinny or relaxed?

Whether in plain sight or a little hidden, the connection is always there. Just give yourself a large enough sample size in earmarked outfits to be able to see the patterns emerge.

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look
5. Bring it home.

Whew, now that we have done the hard part, we have to adapt your aspirational style profile to your everyday life. Indeed, for example, depending on where you work, “sexy, boho, chic” may be a little frowned upon; however, it could be incorporated in your wardrobe in the form of fun accessories or floral chiffon blouses under your blazers. Alternatively, “Edgy, leather, deconstructed ” sounds like a badass style profile, but it may not work very well in a classroom; that said, a leather cuff and a studded belt may give you just enough of the look to be true to yourself while following rules. You get my point.

Start “adapting” your style profile to your daily life. If all your photos feature sky-high heels, be ready to invest in a pair OR to recreate your looks with cute flats. Same thing for designer clothing and accessories; identify what you like about your picks and recreate the look for less (see here how to score great quality clothing for less), unless you can afford a closet full of Monique Lhuillier- in which case YOU GO, GIRL!

6. Take your brand new style for a spin!

Chances are, you already have items in your closet that match your ideal style. Rock them and pay attention to how you feel in them; create new outfits with the inspiration you gathered from your research; determine whether you want to add new connector words to your description, or remove some altogether; make sure you feel gorgeous and confident; have fun!!!

And remember: at the end of the day, they are only clothes. They come off.

 

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps

Bonus: My own journey

Putting my money where my mouth is… Below is my own journey through the 6 steps above. I really did use this framework, guys! I may not have known it at the time, but this is honestly how . found my “look”.

  1. This took me a while. I listened to everyone else’s thoughts on what I should be wearing for far too long and in the end, I had no style of my own. It took a minute for me to develop my own opinions.
  2. That was easy. I have a mini torso and long ass limbs, so legs was a no-brainer. More recently, I have also been on a weight loss journey for the past six months (23 lbs so far, woohoo!) so my newfound waist has been making its way up the list as well. I also like highlighting the hourglass figure I do not have.‚Ź≥
  3. The color black; jeans; anything that makes me look hourglass-y (so yay peplums/ mermaid skirts); minis; ankara clothes; black pointy-toed pumps; ratchet Instagram boutique dresses; thigh high boots.
  4. “Sophisti-ratchet, monochromatic, ethnic, curve-enhancing”. I love to bare random body parts in a classy (ish) way, I could wear black every day of my life, and I put my legs on display a little bit¬†ūüėÄ. I am also a boxier than I would like, so I fake the hourglass shape God didn’t give me by sporting items that nip at the waist and flare out.
  5. I do that every day.
  6. I have solidly been in this wheelhouse for 5+ years, and it somehow never feels boring.

Done! And while all that is cool, we need deets on the outfit!

Blogger @Dafrastar shares 6 fun steps to determine your look, in 6 simple steps
  • Top: Twist X Turn high-low eyelet blouse. I fell in love with it immediately. I bought it along with its sister in a checkered pattern– LOVE them both. I cannot see the one I am wearing on the website for sale, even though it is on the homepage- weird. That said, the ties at the waist are stupid- they make zero sense, and I had to play around with them for a while to knot them in a way that worked for me. Still, I like the silhouette, the asymmetrical design and the overall elegant yet surprising feel this top has. Only wore it once so far (for this shoot), but it is comfortable and gorgeous.
  • Skirt: ZARA. This is a black pencil skirt, but it is fighting basicness by sporting a strip of PU leather and a band of lace. It does not look like much on a hanger, but I like the way it looks on.
  • Shoes: Steve Madden; worn here, here and here. Still hate them because they compress my feet, but they sure make my legs look a mile long.
  • Bag: C√©line Phantom. This impulse buy¬†was brought to you by poor decision making in collaboration with a long day at work; I am ashamed.

Dassit!!!!

Thanks y’all so much for rocking with me, and please leave any questions in the comments!

Until next time,

D

Denim on denim, and 3 quick ways to find peace in spite of chaos

Hello fashionable humans!

I’m still traveling through England, and I’ve been struggling with my posting schedule because of the unpredictability of my Internet connection. I have not had any reliable WiFi since I left London (my trips are cataloged in my Instagram stories. If you’re interested, my handle is¬†@dafrastar). I am now in¬†Scotland and mercifully have a decent signal; whoop!

Anywho, today’s post is about a denim on denim outfit¬†(clearly), but I also would like to touch¬†on something else. Yesterday, I asked you guys on Instagram how you went about finding an island of calm somewhere in the midst of the hustle and bustle we call life. Indeed, for many of us, daily obligations include getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ourselves (and perhaps the rest of the family) ready for the day, making breakfast/lunch, going to work, having a productive day, and then coming home to unwind- but not before completing dinner, dishes and ‚Äďinsert any other random chore here‚Äď. I am out of breath just writing this. More power to the ones who can squeeze gym sessions in, hobbies or time with friends. And just HATS OFF to moms, who do all this- except times 20.

So in all this craziness, how does one regroup when everything gets too much? What happens when social media is just annoying the shit out of you, work sucks, homework just isn’t moving forward and everything is just taking a turn for the worst? Under my Instagram post, you guys had several answers. Retreating to your bedroom was definitely a favorite. Saying a prayer was also mentioned several times. Other options included going on vacation, doing some yoga, drinking a glass of wine or indulging in some 420. Personally, prayer ranks very high for me as well, but I would like to use this post to share more of my personal ways to “get back to neutral”. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Retreat someplace where I can be quiet for 5 minutes… and that could literally be my head.

It may sound silly to some, but even the appearance of quiet usually helps me get my thoughts in order. I do not require to be actually alone, but closing my eyes, for example, helps me get a handle on what is happening around me. It helps me assess stressors clearly, understand what is causing me to feel frazzled, and therefore act on it. If necessary, this is also a time I use to pray. In the midst of a shitstorm, my prayers usually go like this: “Lord, I hate every second of this shit, but You know why it is happening; so please, in your immense magnanimity, allow me not to care about things that will NOT matter in a few days, and allow me to learn what you wanted me to learn by going through this crap.” I mean, not exactly, but that’s really the gist of it.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Strategize in a way that saves time and makes me feel smart.¬† (I can’t be the only one who does this.)

Chaos usually means that there is a lot of things to do. Some things need to happen first; sure. Still, there are always 2-3 items that really need to happen at the same time as other things, because they have the potential of being huge bottlenecks later.

A real-life example: on days where I have a mountain of dishes to do + a deck to complete + a blog post to edit + looks to brainstorm, shit can go left quick. After I use step 1 to calm down, I usually start scheduling tasks in my head, and then re-arrange them to optimize my timelines. For example, some tasks should always be done first because, while unimportant, they need be completed fast not to derail my schedule. Dishes and laundry are good examples; starting the dishwasher before doing anything else means that dishes will be clean by the time I am done editing photos, and BAM- 2 things done. This usually makes me feel way smarter than I really am and gives me the courage to charge through everything else.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Drink tea. Gallons of it.

I don’t even mean the kind with caffeine; I mean the silly kind with random herbs and flowers and shit. Here is the thing- I consume little to no caffeine on a daily basis (not even on purpose, kinda just happened.) HOWEVER- God have mercy on anyone who will ever come between me and my caffeine free ginger or peppermint tea. Why,¬†you ask? I DON’T KNOW- STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

Tea is literally my answer to everything in life. Happy? Drink tea. Sad? Drink tea. Angry? Drink tea. Frazzled? Drink tea. Ate too much? Hungry? Tired? DRINK. TEA.

Maybe it’s the process of making it; maybe it helps me feel like at least ONE thing is going right; maybe I just fucking love flowery infused beverages. I have no idea what it is, but tea brings me so much peace… that it is generally what I am doing with my hands as I am going through steps 1 and 2 in my head. And the silly thing is that I will take AGES to drink a cup. So it’s not even that I really need the beverage.

Odds are- you have your tea equivalent. Find it, and use it as a mindless occupation while you strategize and determine how to emerge from chaos. It works, and helps- at least for me- to reset my mind and get back on track (that said, please, for the love little green dragons, don’t pick something harmful like‚Ästidk‚Ästcocaine).

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Time to chat about Denim on Denim Styling!

Now let’s talk about my clothes- all that yapping made me forget I had not touched on those. BTW- this look was put together with items I already had lying around in my closet. Therefore, half of them are sold out and I have no idea where I bought the other half from. Sowee!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

I am wearing my best interpretation of denim on denim. In my humble opinion, it is one of the simplest ways to look fashionable yet low key. I personally love pairing darker pants with a lighter denim or chambray shirt, for a good amount of color contrast.  I dislike acid wash, so said top still needs to be some kind of blueish hue to be attractive to me.

The pants: I have owned them for a while (I buy jeans from Lucky Brand every Black Friday, so they are at least 1 year old, possibly older.) These are the Sasha Super Skinnies¬†I believe, which I also featured in this post. I HATE the fact that Lucky Brand does NOT celebrate diversity at all in their ads; they are so non-inclusive, it is almost comical. Sooooo, if¬†you know of another brand that sells jeans up to a 36″ inseam (at prices that would hopefully not bankrupt me), please point me their way.

The top: It is a chambray top I bought from… somewhere. Maybe Marshalls? I remember physically buying it, so it was not Amazon… I will update with details if I can find them, but you can honestly find dozens like it anywhere online. Mine’s only particularity is that it has push buttons instead of regular ones‚Äď useful for people with claws like myself.

The scarf: Bought in a boutique in NYC, on a particularly freezing day 6 years ago.

The belt: Thrifted years ago.

The shoes: Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, featured in this post as well. Kind of sold out everywhere online, but similar (and much cheaper) ones here.

The sunglasses: Bought on the side of the road somewhere in Brazil for like 3 bucks.

DASSIT- If you made it this far, thanks a whole bunch, and see you next time! (likely next week, because this lack of network is no bueno.) Catch my stories on Instagram- I am sharing quite a bit of my daily activities! (Did London, Oxford, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Inverness and headed back to London tomorrow!)

As always- thanks for stopping by.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

This look was photographed by Rachel Radcliffe in Piedmont, California.

With Love,

D

Monochromatic slay : Red from head to toe

Hello everyone, HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY! This post is the final installment of my collab series with my boo @dorothy.abigail (Part 1 and 2 respectively here and here), and we are bringing you our take on monochromatic dressing. Please check her out and show her some love!

So I hope your week was LIT!<- I need to stop using this word. I hope you got a lot done, and I hope you are ready for whatever the weekend brings. I, personally, am getting ready for my sweatpants.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

This post will be a funny one, at least to me. I have been wanting to try monochromatic dressing for a while, for the main reason that I am lazy. I ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY abhor matching clothes. It has to be one of my least favorite activities in the entire world- like who enjoys this? I HATE sitting around thinking- will this go with this? Or with this? It is- to me at least- one of the least productive ways to spend my time (generally going outside is a close second, but we can save that argument for another post. I am coming around to it though, but still- I am nobody’s hiking buddy.)

This deep seated hatred is probably why I will always love black, and ¬†will always gravitate towards dresses/jumpsuits/shit that does not require too much work because it already covers top and bottom, or doesn’t really count- like denim. Nobody matches jeans. Okay, fine, jeans need to be matched sometimes too. F*ck.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

Aaaanyways, back to monochromatic dressing. So I had been telling myself I would try it one day, because it could open the door to me wearing more color without trying too hard. I randomly bought these 2 pieces a few months apart, thought they would work for this photoshoot, dug up a pair of red sandals, and was on my way. The one thing I can take really credit for is that I generally have a good sense of proportions in clothes; my mother taught me very early on not to wear a long skirt with a long top, or vice versa, and to always try to mix and match the lengths/ widths of my garments. I mean- ¬†the woman dresses like it’s an Olympic sport, so I usually listen when she doles out sartorial wisdom.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

The reality, though, is that monochromatic dressing is a SCIENCE. Here’s how I know: I bought a book on monochromatic dressing last week, long after these pictures were taken. And then- I read in amazement as it crisply detailed and summarized things I nebulously kind of knew in my mind, but would have not been able to articulate. The explanations on how to craft a balanced monochromatic look are very simple, helpful and to the point. There are also a lot of images of what to do and NOT to do (God knows I needed that :/)

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|Monochromatic deets: Shirt, Zara, sold out: Similar here and here; Skirt, Zara, here, similar-ish here ; Sandals, Steve Madden Realove (discontinued, thank God because the arch sucks and they HURT), similar here; purse here

But for real though- reading this book and actually realizing my look matched some of the advice in it this made me feel like a kid whose teacher gave them an exercise that was too advanced, but they somehow nailed it- and even confused themselves. I was so ready to discover that I had done this all wrong. I mean, fine, there are no rules in fashion, but this book is written by Ashleigh from The Daileigh, so yeah- have you seen her Instagram? Bruh. I spent my $10 to learn how she puts those looks of hers together, aaaaand she told me I was actually not inept at fashion, so -that was money well spent in my eyes (yes, I paid for the book. No, I am not an affiliate of hers, or compensated in any way for my thoughts.)

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|However, I have to admit that my look falls under the most basic execution of monochromatic dressing she touches on; in the book, she shares dressing tips with varying shades of the same color , prints (!), and other things I will opt to stay far, far away from, at least for now. It was a good read and I am happy I bought it, but baby steps, m’kay?

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

So let’s talk about the pieces:

  • The top: Solid. Works like gangbusters with a pencil skirt. Will give you pit stains, as it is satin. Otherwise good purchase.
  • The skirt:¬†Super cute, but only wore it twice and gave it away because it rode up when I walked. I am 5″11, so I was running the risk of experiencing some cheek slip; not a good look.
  • The shoes: Cute but nope. There’s a reason they discontinued them.
  • The purse: OMG so cute!!!!! I lost maybe a pearl or two, but I can’t even tell. It can’t hold much though, so be ready to carry your phone in your hand if it’s larger than a pack of gum. Still a cute bag- it’s like a little pearled minaudi√®re.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

Overall, for me, monochromatic dressing made for a cute and fun look. It looked and felt sophisticated, and it took me a mere 5 mins to put together. I will hopefully get some new red sandals soon, and will replace my skirt so I can revisit this outfit.

Please take a look below at my boo Dorothy slaying an all burgundy look! She’s to fabulous, I can’t.

In her own words:

I am from Curaçao;  everything on the island is very colorful and that also shows in fashion. Back in the day (some women still dress this way though) a lot of Curaçaoan women would dress in one color, but it would be called ghetto and unfashionable. And nowadays monochromatic outfits are a known trend in fashion.

 

@Dorothy.abigail on Dafrastar.com

@Dorothy.abigail on Dafrastar.com

 

That’s it for today people! Thanks as always for stopping by, and I hope to see you on my next post!

My look was photographed by the amazing @joyofodu in San Francisco.

 

Best,

D