Self-Care: The Art of Fleeing BS and Maintaining A Positive Outlook on Life

Hellurrrr #fashionablehumans!!!!

Hope this week is lit AF, and that your weekend was full of fun, naps and beautiful moments (veeeery open to interpretation¬†ūüėŹ.)

I am in a great mood today, which makes me wonder why this is not a more common occurrence; I am often peppy and positive, but I want that to be an everyday thing, you know? Self-care has been in my mind a lot lately, from taking better care of my skin (working on my version of the 10-step Korean regimen), eating low-carb (23 lbs down, bish) and reading a lot more about positivity, manifestation and purpose.

Indeed, as I get older, I have less and less tolerance for BS and its little cousin Drama. These 2 were not regulars in my life anyway; now though, every time I see them, I just want to call the cops to have them escorted to a different zip code. (I won’t, because the way police brutality is setup…)

Anywhoooo, I would love to share little steps I have been taking every day to be more positive, energized and overall happy with life. I am still a work in progress (and shall be until the day I die), so some of these are still a struggle. Still, they have made a difference for me and I hope they do for you too.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden GorgeousTake the time to know yourself; being positive starts within.

Who are you, really? No, I am not asking about your degrees, your job, or even your religion. Who are YOU? What do you love, what do you dislike? What makes your heart soar, and what makes you quake with fear? What do you want out of your life? Like, REALLY want?

Answering these questions (and more) will allow you to be honest with yourself about what you aspire to, and who you aspire to be. I personally feel like questioning myself often creates a virtuous circle: I get in touch with my own feelings, follow what I really want and therefore feel happy, fulfilled and positive because I am going after my goals and creating my reality. Don’t leave for others.

Questioning myself often creates a virtuous¬† circle: I learn who I really am, follow what I really want and feel happy and positive because I am creating my reality.Don’t leave for others.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden GorgeousBe kind to yourself.

This one is so important, guys. You cannot live a positive life if you refuse to be kind to yourself.

Think about it: we are so kind to others! We stay up late consoling our friends, are there for them when they run into hardships and love them unconditionally. Why can’t we do that for ourselves?

  • We are NOT defined by our mistakes, but instead by our ability to learn from them.
  • We are NOT less worthy than the next girl because she has a smaller dress size, or because we have thicker thighs.
  • We are NOT failures because we have not completed college or just folded after a business venture.

I avoid negative self-talk as much as I can. Writing a great thing about myself in my Panda Planner every morning before I start work, and really taking a minute to internalize it is also a helpful habit. I also really, really try not to fall into the social media comparison trap. I AM ENOUGH.

Always remember: you are smart as shit, strong, fun and destined to do amazing things. Please realize how great you are, and how much you bring to the people around you. Treat yourself like you would your best friend: do not allow your mind or mouth to speak evil of you. (Pro tip: reading manifestation related content further explains how important it is to speak highly of yourself.)

Treat yourself like you would your best friend: do not allow your mind or mouth to speak evil of you.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden GorgeousAvoid energy leeches.

You know exactly who I am talking about. We all have those friends/acquaintances/family members who are HEAVY to be around. They stay whining (while never trying to fix their issues), angry at someone or supercritical of you and your choices. You never feel positive after spending time with them, but down and exhausted instead. Seeing an incoming call from them makes you sigh heavily… or sends you into fits of panic.

One word: Run. (Fast. And far away.)

While it is okay to listen to a buddy’s venting session (and to help them out when you can), it is NOT okay to let their issues get you down, especially when they refuse to help themselves. After a while, you have to realize that your own positivity and sanity come¬†first. Just have them miss you with the bullshit. Politely change the topic when they mention that fuckboy for the 1,355,676 th time, because they are clearly refusing to learn from their mistakes.

Even worse: beware of people who embrace mediocrity and shit all over your dreams.

Let’s be clear: real friends will STAN when you get a better job, get engaged, get a promotion, lose weight, or finally launch that business (more on being a good friend here). They will also keep it real with you and give you honest but constructive feedback, which is always needed. What you do NOT need is the naysayers, who keep yapping things like¬† “You can’t do it”, or who suddenly go silent when you share great news. No ma’am.

Protect your energy from those leeches and keep being amazing and positive.

We all have those friends/acquaintances/family members who are HEAVY to be around (…)¬†One word: Run. (Fast. And far away.)

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden Gorgeous

What I am wearing: Dress, here; boots, here; purse, Céline Phantom. Baseball hat, HELMH (wearing Sultan Harare Dashiki cap)

Step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Got a whole post on this here. Keep pushing your boundaries and find joy in new adventures.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden GorgeousCelebrate the “NOW”.

One thing that keeps me positive is taking great care of myself. I often joke that the worse I feel, the better I look. I love wearing cool clothes just because, wearing a fresh lash to the office because I want to, changing my hairstyle because I can, and wearing my best shoes on a random Tuesday. Because why the fuck not?

Do not put off rocking a fun dress or wearing your sexy undies for a “special occasion”. Guess what- every day is one! Your closet exists for you; use it! Wear those fun stockings, that perfume that makes you feel like a million bucks, those jeans that make your¬†ūüćϬ†look amazing. You deserve to make yourself happy. All the damn time.

Do not put off rocking a fun dress or wearing your sexy undies for a “special occasion”. Guess what- every day is one! (…)¬†You deserve to make yourself happy, all the damn time.

I hope this helps even one of you to zero in on their happiness, and preserve their positive attitude every day. Life is short; let’s enjoy it with no BS.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses positivity in every day life, while rocking a hoodie dress and an Ankara cap from Helmh. ankara, ankara hat, ankara accessories, ankara headwrap, ankara hat, helmh, helmh accessories, ankara accessories, hoodie dress, sweater dress, how to style a hoodie, how to style a hoodie dress, OTK Boots, Stuart Weitzman Highland, Steve Madden Gorgeous

On to the ‘fit:

This dress I am HERE for it. Just such a gem! I am in absolute love with it, and in spite of having had it for less than a month, I already wore it 3 times. It is comfy, soft, thick, relaxed, and just everything I ever wanted in a hoodie dress. I had to (considerably) size up (this is a 3X, I am a M-L in most cases), so just keep that in mind. For your reference, I am 36″-29″-45″, and I am 5″11. It is such a fun casual piece, and I think I may wear it again tomorrow.¬†ūü§∑ūüŹŅ‚Äć‚ôÄÔłŹ

This baseball hat was kindly sent to me by Harlem over at HELMH. His company provides Ankara headwraps and baseball caps, which got me immediately excited- y’all know I live for¬†a good Ankara print. The cap I am rocking here is the Sultan Harare Dashiki (sold out at the moment), but this one¬†is bae- I kinda want to get it for myself. I find my hat to be very well made, sturdy and with vibrant colors. I’d wear it with regular clothes for that extra dash of culture, heh!

The boots: featured on the blog before, here. Love them; they look good, fit well and are reasonably comfortable.

The purse: featured here. I still feel the same way about it.

That’s it for today guys!!! Thanks so much for your renewed support, and I will see you later this week!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

3 Tips to Get Back on Track after Failure

Wassup wassup #fashionablehumans !

Just came home from sunny Ouagadougou, where I was to celebrate my cousin’s wedding!!!! I was super excited to be back home, see my parents, family and friends, and also EAT EVERYTHING! Real talk, by the week before I left, I had already sent my mom a list of allllll the things I needed to eat during my stay. I came correct!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

While I am super fortunate to travel often (this trip brought my count to 4 countries and 4 continents in the past 6 months), being on the go all the time takes its toll, and unfortunately‚ÄĒ Dafrastar often gets the short end of the stick (I have not posted in a fucking month). I often find myself falling asleep at my computer (like right now ūüėā) while blogging. I also mostly work at night, so sometimes I don’t even make it to my computer AT ALL. While I believe that resolutions are obsolete (you may read more on that here), I do have serious goals for the blog in 2018. For example, I aim to post quality content twice a week (as well as stick to a Tuesday & Friday uploading schedule). I believe and trust I will eventually succeed at this, but MAN has it been challenging. I can confidently say I have failed at it so far.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

Needless to say, some days I just feel an overwhelming annoyance with myself. How dare¬†I need more than 4 hours of sleep a day? How come I do not have a perfectly organized editorial calendar, with content planned for the next zillion weeks? How come I can’t churn out twelve viral posts per minute, while also slaying my career, keeping full edges and rocking clear skin? WHY? Ugh.

The summary of this tirade is: sometimes I get fucking tired and discouraged of failing at my goals. Life is pretty much the art of juggling shit,¬† and one invariably has to fall behind somewhere. For me, not hitting my posting schedule for the blog makes me anxious. Anxiety, in turn, makes me catatonic and prone to avoidance; I just want to give everything up and run away. I guess that’s why the expression “falling off the wagon” exists… We all have lives, and side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing their way away from our overwhelmed asses.

(…) side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing away from our overwhelmed asses.

Therefore, some days I do have to dig deeeep to remain motivated/ get back on track after failing. The tips below help me do it and remain somewhat sane; they are how this blog post is live today, and how many more will see the light of day. These tips apply to everything in life, as far as I am concerned: exercise routines, nutrition, dance classes, skin care… pretty much anything in your life requiring continuous commitment and effort. Let’s jump into it!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

1- The path to success is not straight. The ones who make it are the ones who understand that failure is part of the game.

 

This is something we should all remember more often.

 

You likely saw this picture around the internet somewhere. Success and failure go hand in hand; that’s just the truth. Even the greatest athletes have off days, weeks or even years. Does that mean they should stop? Nope, and neither should you. Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. We have to accept it and learn from it, but more than everything, we have to let it fuel our comeback. I will be the first one to admit that failure sucks. Up until this day, not succeeding at something leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. That said, in 2017, I learned to hold myself to high standards and not let failure define me. It was such a liberating moment! I pretty much gave myself the permission to fail as long as I kept getting up and trying harder. Guess what: the areas of my life I applied this rule to¬†saw more success in 2017 than any other year before.

LESSON: Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. (…)¬†Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

2- Remember: Progress is much better than perfection

This is squarely targeted to people who also suffer from my ailment, the accursed disease of perfection. In our heads, we are failing everyone including the Queen of England if we do not execute things exactly at the time we planned them, with grace, poise and excellence. However, life (and especially work) taught me that the sentence above is the devil, and the devil is a lie. Think about it: visualize yourself making a quilt, or a sweater, or some other shit that requires a large time investment. Making a quilty-square (you know exactly what I’m trying to say) per day may be your initial goal, but you may end up making 4 squares a week (because life), or a couple of your squares could be kind of crooked. Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY. You would keep sewing that shit until it was done and chilling on your guest room bed. That analogy applies to life: a crooked quilty square does not mean you stop; it means you learn where to put your needle to make better squares and keep it moving.

LESSON: Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t,¬† still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project.

Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t, still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project.¬†Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

3- You likely learned a thing or two on your break.

Let’s assume you took an unplanned break from working towards your dream, or maybe stayed on the ground a little longer than usual (due to a particularly vicious setback). Guess what? Chances are, you will get back on the horse with a refreshed mind, renewed purpose, or even better ideas/more drive than before. Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. It helps you reset, think about things differently, and maybe even finally grasp something that kept eluding you before. While this is not reason enough to take a hiatus, it is definitely a non-negligible benefit.

LESSON: If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Hang in there, peeps. Just hang in there, and never think that falling off the wagon does not mean you can catch the next train. Bonus: you may even ride in the first class coach.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

On to the outfit we are rocking today! This look was initially shot as a part of my Fall 2017 Trends series, to represent for the fringe and fishnets trends. Never got around to posting it. Welp.

The top: I LOVE it (featured in my sequin skirt lookbook as well). It has the right balance of sass and comfort, and I love that the drama is limited to the sleeves (dunno why, but I dig that shit.) I will likely wear it until it falls apart. That said, I still can’t find a link to it for the life of me, so here are 2 similar options here and here. Sowee!

The skirt: I am also in love with this puppy. It is a simple faux leather A-line mini skirt from Zara, and it can be worn so many ways. Maybe I should feature it in a post?…ūü§Ē¬†I rocked it with a turtleneck, an¬†oversized shirt, a tee, a sheer bodysuit… it can do it all. I even wore it with thick tights and a sweater to work, and upped the casual vibe with some sneakers. I’m telling you, it is a jack of all trades.

The boots: they are the Steve Madden Gorgeous, and they are bae; I spoke about them here, and somehow never got a chance to feature them on the blog until now. They are a size 10 (I wear 10.5) so they are a smidgen tight but manageable. I love them with jeans, they make my legs look a mile long.

The fishnets: pretty ordinary ones, get the job done. I would have bought cuter ones if I had given it more thought.

That’s it for this post folks! Please tell me below; how do you manage to get shit done, or how do you motivate yourself to keep going after you fall? Let’s share tips so we can all crush goals this year!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

10 Random Facts about Me

Hello hello #fashionablehumans!

By the way- we are coining this expression. I checked Instagram and this hashtag only has, like, 3 posts- dassit, we’re taking it.

How have you guys been, and how was your holiday? Did you travel to go see family, or did you host?  Personally, I have been super busy yet super happy!  Life is good and I am overflowing with gratitude; I just need to remember to pray more often, swear less and drink my water (as of right now I am drinking wine tho).

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!So- in spite of me yapping for paragraphs on each single one of my posts,  I realized last week that you guys really do not know much about me at all. I was prepping to post my last look from London, and I seized the opportunity to write a bit of a more personal post! To be honest- as much as I love fashion, I often feel that posts only focusing on clothing can be a little dry. For example, I am enjoying the heck out of my Fall 2017 Trends series; however, I also love to share some personal learnings and experiences as well.

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!I have seen the “10 random things about me” tag floating around for quite a while. I never fail to read one; I feel like they give me a neat insight into who people really are, social media/ blogger personas aside. Like- they can speak fluent Russian, are amateur salsa dancers or cosplayed as Sailor Moon last year at Comicon. That shit is just so cool to me!

Sooooo I am trying my hand at it. Let me know if anything surprises you, if you knew everything or if we have some things in common!

10 Random things about me

  1. I am an only child. I feel like that has molded me into being someone who is not at all afraid of loneliness. I am really good at entertaining myself, and I am honestly rarely (if ever) bored.  The main downside to this is that I tend to assume others function the same way; I pack my days full of activities, often forgetting to bake in time to spend with other people.
  2. I love books. I easily read 1-2 MEATY books per month; at some point, I was really into fiction and finished a book every weekend like clockwork. I do not discriminate as far as genres are concerned: fiction, romance, mystery, self-help, nutrition, fitness, professional development, even prose (I cannot last through that shit though, it hurts my brain). The last opened books in my Kindle app currently are:

“Necessary Restorations” by Kate Canterbary¬†(finished it- I love the whole Walsh series and read every book twice, don’t judge me- or judge away, whatever lol)

“Strong Curves” by Bret Contreras and Kellie Davis (just started today, I am very excited about the workouts in this book)

A¬†sample of “Algorithms to Live by: The Computer Science of Human Decisions” by Brian Christian & Tom Griffiths (not started- I actually bought it for a friend in paperback and grabbed a Kindle sample for myself to check it out. She’s smart, so I am sure anything she picks is a good book)

“Drive: The Surprising Truth about what Motivates Us” by Daniel Pink (I’m on the last few chapters, good learnings)

“Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell (finished it, very easy read but pretty interesting; can’t wait to read another one of his books.)

  1. I speak 3 languages fluently, and English is the 3rd one. Dioula (my mother tongue, pronounced dee-oo-luh ) and French were the first languages I spoke. I did not start speaking English daily until I was 19 years old, when I moved to the US for college.
  2. I LOVE the Harry Potter series. I have watched every single one of the movies maybe 10 times and I own every single one of the books (as physical copies and in kindle format). I judge anyone who cannot say “wingardium leviosa”, or worse- who has no idea what it means.
  3. Finding jeans is extremely hard for me because I have a short torso and longer legs. I am also 5″11, which does not help. I need an inseam of 35″- 36″to be comfortable, which greatly limits my choices. Oh, and I have a shoe size of 11. Fun.
  4. When I was 19, I competed in a TV show akin to the French version of Jeopardy. I made it to the finals and won a lot of books and chocolate (It was around Easter). I lost to a history teacher, so I was honestly cool with it- listen, I was still perplexed as to how I made it that far.
  5. I got married twice… to the same man. My husband is Indian, so we had a regular wedding with the white dress, cake, bridesmaids etc. and an Indian wedding where I wore a red lehenga. It was fucking epic.
  6. I have a speech impediment; I have been stuttering since I was 6. It does not bother me that much in daily life; as a matter of fact, I have had A LOT of years to practice concealing it, so many people have no idea. I did go to speech therapy for it and got better, but I have since relapsed. I really should go again.
  7. I cannot drink coffee- It is BITTER!!!!!¬†How do you guys do it??? I tried so many times, and I just can’t. Nope. I understand that people can have a taste for it, I appreciate the amount of work that goes into bean selection and roasting, but the beverage itself is just FOUL to me. I love the smell of a freshly brewed pot though.
  8. I do not watch TV. Like none. I do watch Netflix here and there (usually to keep my ears busy when I’m doing my hair), but I do not have the commitment to sit in front of the TV for anything. Everything that I know about TV personalities, I found out on social media. For world news, I catch up pretty easily via a triangulation of Twitter, FB, news apps, Reddit and my husband lol.

There you go, this is it!

Here are more photos of my outfit below, as well as a quick 411:

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!

  • Top: Black sheer bodysuit; used it several times on the blog, here and here for example. It’s from AliExpress and is available here. I love it so much I actually bought two more; one identical and one with a crew neck. The utility I get out of these is amazing- I wore the older one maybe 10 times, and that nets out to less than $1 per wear.
  • Boots: Another blog favorite, here and here. They are the Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, mostly sold out everywhere but here’s a similar pair¬†here.
  • Blazer: First feature on the blog, but wore it several times already! It is from Missguided, and it is a much much much more affordable version of this one by Balmain; found out about it from a Jennie Jenkins fashion haul, and I have seen the Balmain blazer on Folake from Style Pantry several times in the past years (here, here). EVERY. TIME¬†she wears it, it is DROOL WORTHY. That woman can DRESS. Anyway, back to our train of thought‚Äďthis Missguided blazer has none of the structure its higher-end¬†cousin benefits from (Jennie compares both in her video, at 10:23‚Äď you’re welcome )- but it is a cute blazer, it looks nice with jeans/ minis/ shorts and has a good length. I also scored it for 50% off during a random sale by Missguided, yay!¬† I will say though- mine is a little too large for my taste, and I wish I had sized down. (Got an 8, and I am an 8 in real life as well.)
  • Shorts: those corduroy shorts were a totally random purchase from Nordstrom Rack, and they were $10!!! They are¬†here, and I also just found a pair on Poshmark¬†(they are from a brand called Moon River).¬† I will highlight that I wear them back to front because they have cargo pockets in the front, which makes little to no sense to me. Like, why do we need crotch framing pockets? No one needs to highlight their nether regions that badly, and back pockets make MUCH more sense. They are super comfy though, super sassy and overall awesome. I wore them 2 or 3 times when I was in the UK (bought them the day before my trip).

Blogger @Dafrastar sharing 10 Random facts about her, rocking Missguided, Stuart Weitzman and Moon River . More on the blog!

That is it for this blog post! As always, thanks a lot for stopping by and hanging out with me. I would like to tag Shannon from Champagne at Shannon’s, Tisha from Behind the Schmile, Debbie from To Thine Own style be True,¬†Antonia from the Midwest Wife¬†, Yawa from Stilettos and Pearls¬†, Josie from Petite + Bold¬† and Louisa from La Passion Vo√Ľt√©e to take a stab at it, as well as all of you! If you do it, please leave your link below- I would love to read your list!

Look captured by @mishmash_photography at the Tower of London.

Until next time!

With Love,
D

Denim on denim, and 3 quick ways to find peace in spite of chaos

Hello fashionable humans!

I’m still traveling through England, and I’ve been struggling with my posting schedule because of the unpredictability of my Internet connection. I have not had any reliable WiFi since I left London (my trips are cataloged in my Instagram stories. If you’re interested, my handle is¬†@dafrastar). I am now in¬†Scotland and mercifully have a decent signal; whoop!

Anywho, today’s post is about a denim on denim outfit¬†(clearly), but I also would like to touch¬†on something else. Yesterday, I asked you guys on Instagram how you went about finding an island of calm somewhere in the midst of the hustle and bustle we call life. Indeed, for many of us, daily obligations include getting up at the crack of dawn, getting ourselves (and perhaps the rest of the family) ready for the day, making breakfast/lunch, going to work, having a productive day, and then coming home to unwind- but not before completing dinner, dishes and ‚Äďinsert any other random chore here‚Äď. I am out of breath just writing this. More power to the ones who can squeeze gym sessions in, hobbies or time with friends. And just HATS OFF to moms, who do all this- except times 20.

So in all this craziness, how does one regroup when everything gets too much? What happens when social media is just annoying the shit out of you, work sucks, homework just isn’t moving forward and everything is just taking a turn for the worst? Under my Instagram post, you guys had several answers. Retreating to your bedroom was definitely a favorite. Saying a prayer was also mentioned several times. Other options included going on vacation, doing some yoga, drinking a glass of wine or indulging in some 420. Personally, prayer ranks very high for me as well, but I would like to use this post to share more of my personal ways to “get back to neutral”. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Retreat someplace where I can be quiet for 5 minutes… and that could literally be my head.

It may sound silly to some, but even the appearance of quiet usually helps me get my thoughts in order. I do not require to be actually alone, but closing my eyes, for example, helps me get a handle on what is happening around me. It helps me assess stressors clearly, understand what is causing me to feel frazzled, and therefore act on it. If necessary, this is also a time I use to pray. In the midst of a shitstorm, my prayers usually go like this: “Lord, I hate every second of this shit, but You know why it is happening; so please, in your immense magnanimity, allow me not to care about things that will NOT matter in a few days, and allow me to learn what you wanted me to learn by going through this crap.” I mean, not exactly, but that’s really the gist of it.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Strategize in a way that saves time and makes me feel smart.¬† (I can’t be the only one who does this.)

Chaos usually means that there is a lot of things to do. Some things need to happen first; sure. Still, there are always 2-3 items that really need to happen at the same time as other things, because they have the potential of being huge bottlenecks later.

A real-life example: on days where I have a mountain of dishes to do + a deck to complete + a blog post to edit + looks to brainstorm, shit can go left quick. After I use step 1 to calm down, I usually start scheduling tasks in my head, and then re-arrange them to optimize my timelines. For example, some tasks should always be done first because, while unimportant, they need be completed fast not to derail my schedule. Dishes and laundry are good examples; starting the dishwasher before doing anything else means that dishes will be clean by the time I am done editing photos, and BAM- 2 things done. This usually makes me feel way smarter than I really am and gives me the courage to charge through everything else.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Drink tea. Gallons of it.

I don’t even mean the kind with caffeine; I mean the silly kind with random herbs and flowers and shit. Here is the thing- I consume little to no caffeine on a daily basis (not even on purpose, kinda just happened.) HOWEVER- God have mercy on anyone who will ever come between me and my caffeine free ginger or peppermint tea. Why,¬†you ask? I DON’T KNOW- STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

Tea is literally my answer to everything in life. Happy? Drink tea. Sad? Drink tea. Angry? Drink tea. Frazzled? Drink tea. Ate too much? Hungry? Tired? DRINK. TEA.

Maybe it’s the process of making it; maybe it helps me feel like at least ONE thing is going right; maybe I just fucking love flowery infused beverages. I have no idea what it is, but tea brings me so much peace… that it is generally what I am doing with my hands as I am going through steps 1 and 2 in my head. And the silly thing is that I will take AGES to drink a cup. So it’s not even that I really need the beverage.

Odds are- you have your tea equivalent. Find it, and use it as a mindless occupation while you strategize and determine how to emerge from chaos. It works, and helps- at least for me- to reset my mind and get back on track (that said, please, for the love little green dragons, don’t pick something harmful like‚Ästidk‚Ästcocaine).

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

Time to chat about Denim on Denim Styling!

Now let’s talk about my clothes- all that yapping made me forget I had not touched on those. BTW- this look was put together with items I already had lying around in my closet. Therefore, half of them are sold out and I have no idea where I bought the other half from. Sowee!

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

I am wearing my best interpretation of denim on denim. In my humble opinion, it is one of the simplest ways to look fashionable yet low key. I personally love pairing darker pants with a lighter denim or chambray shirt, for a good amount of color contrast.  I dislike acid wash, so said top still needs to be some kind of blueish hue to be attractive to me.

The pants: I have owned them for a while (I buy jeans from Lucky Brand every Black Friday, so they are at least 1 year old, possibly older.) These are the Sasha Super Skinnies¬†I believe, which I also featured in this post. I HATE the fact that Lucky Brand does NOT celebrate diversity at all in their ads; they are so non-inclusive, it is almost comical. Sooooo, if¬†you know of another brand that sells jeans up to a 36″ inseam (at prices that would hopefully not bankrupt me), please point me their way.

The top: It is a chambray top I bought from… somewhere. Maybe Marshalls? I remember physically buying it, so it was not Amazon… I will update with details if I can find them, but you can honestly find dozens like it anywhere online. Mine’s only particularity is that it has push buttons instead of regular ones‚Äď useful for people with claws like myself.

The scarf: Bought in a boutique in NYC, on a particularly freezing day 6 years ago.

The belt: Thrifted years ago.

The shoes: Stuart Weitzman LeggyLady, featured in this post as well. Kind of sold out everywhere online, but similar (and much cheaper) ones here.

The sunglasses: Bought on the side of the road somewhere in Brazil for like 3 bucks.

DASSIT- If you made it this far, thanks a whole bunch, and see you next time! (likely next week, because this lack of network is no bueno.) Catch my stories on Instagram- I am sharing quite a bit of my daily activities! (Did London, Oxford, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Inverness and headed back to London tomorrow!)

As always- thanks for stopping by.

Blogger @Dafrastar rocking denim on denim and sharing her tips on how to find peace in the midst of chaos.

This look was photographed by Rachel Radcliffe in Piedmont, California.

With Love,

D