3 Tips to Get Back on Track after Failure

Wassup wassup #fashionablehumans !

Just came home from sunny Ouagadougou, where I was to celebrate my cousin’s wedding!!!! I was super excited to be back home, see my parents, family and friends, and also EAT EVERYTHING! Real talk, by the week before I left, I had already sent my mom a list of allllll the things I needed to eat during my stay. I came correct!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

While I am super fortunate to travel often (this trip brought my count to 4 countries and 4 continents in the past 6 months), being on the go all the time takes its toll, and unfortunately— Dafrastar often gets the short end of the stick (I have not posted in a fucking month). I often find myself falling asleep at my computer (like right now 😂) while blogging. I also mostly work at night, so sometimes I don’t even make it to my computer AT ALL. While I believe that resolutions are obsolete (you may read more on that here), I do have serious goals for the blog in 2018. For example, I aim to post quality content twice a week (as well as stick to a Tuesday & Friday uploading schedule). I believe and trust I will eventually succeed at this, but MAN has it been challenging. I can confidently say I have failed at it so far.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

Needless to say, some days I just feel an overwhelming annoyance with myself. How dare I need more than 4 hours of sleep a day? How come I do not have a perfectly organized editorial calendar, with content planned for the next zillion weeks? How come I can’t churn out twelve viral posts per minute, while also slaying my career, keeping full edges and rocking clear skin? WHY? Ugh.

The summary of this tirade is: sometimes I get fucking tired and discouraged of failing at my goals. Life is pretty much the art of juggling shit,  and one invariably has to fall behind somewhere. For me, not hitting my posting schedule for the blog makes me anxious. Anxiety, in turn, makes me catatonic and prone to avoidance; I just want to give everything up and run away. I guess that’s why the expression “falling off the wagon” exists… We all have lives, and side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing their way away from our overwhelmed asses.

(…) side hustles/hobbies don’t always get much love. They eventually end up choo-chooing away from our overwhelmed asses.

Therefore, some days I do have to dig deeeep to remain motivated/ get back on track after failing. The tips below help me do it and remain somewhat sane; they are how this blog post is live today, and how many more will see the light of day. These tips apply to everything in life, as far as I am concerned: exercise routines, nutrition, dance classes, skin care… pretty much anything in your life requiring continuous commitment and effort. Let’s jump into it!

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

1- The path to success is not straight. The ones who make it are the ones who understand that failure is part of the game.

 

This is something we should all remember more often.

 

You likely saw this picture around the internet somewhere. Success and failure go hand in hand; that’s just the truth. Even the greatest athletes have off days, weeks or even years. Does that mean they should stop? Nope, and neither should you. Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. We have to accept it and learn from it, but more than everything, we have to let it fuel our comeback. I will be the first one to admit that failure sucks. Up until this day, not succeeding at something leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. That said, in 2017, I learned to hold myself to high standards and not let failure define me. It was such a liberating moment! I pretty much gave myself the permission to fail as long as I kept getting up and trying harder. Guess what: the areas of my life I applied this rule to saw more success in 2017 than any other year before.

LESSON: Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Consistency is hard and we are all bound to fall short sometimes. That said, it is also our duty to refuse to get used to failure. (…) Do not focus that much on the “Falling” part of the story; it is the “Getting Up” part that matters.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

2- Remember: Progress is much better than perfection

This is squarely targeted to people who also suffer from my ailment, the accursed disease of perfection. In our heads, we are failing everyone including the Queen of England if we do not execute things exactly at the time we planned them, with grace, poise and excellence. However, life (and especially work) taught me that the sentence above is the devil, and the devil is a lie. Think about it: visualize yourself making a quilt, or a sweater, or some other shit that requires a large time investment. Making a quilty-square (you know exactly what I’m trying to say) per day may be your initial goal, but you may end up making 4 squares a week (because life), or a couple of your squares could be kind of crooked. Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY. You would keep sewing that shit until it was done and chilling on your guest room bed. That analogy applies to life: a crooked quilty square does not mean you stop; it means you learn where to put your needle to make better squares and keep it moving.

LESSON: Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t,  still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project.

Slower than planned does not mean stagnant. Hang in there and try to speed up; if you can’t, still hang in there. Think of any hard project as a master quilting project. Do you stop quilting because your output isn’t perfect? NO, THAT WOULD BE SILLY.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

3- You likely learned a thing or two on your break.

Let’s assume you took an unplanned break from working towards your dream, or maybe stayed on the ground a little longer than usual (due to a particularly vicious setback). Guess what? Chances are, you will get back on the horse with a refreshed mind, renewed purpose, or even better ideas/more drive than before. Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. It helps you reset, think about things differently, and maybe even finally grasp something that kept eluding you before. While this is not reason enough to take a hiatus, it is definitely a non-negligible benefit.

LESSON: If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Anyone who ever had to work on a creative project can attest to the fact that walking away for a while does wonders for the brain. If you fall hard, realize that the unplanned break will still bring you benefits. Use them to the max; make that setback count!

Hang in there, peeps. Just hang in there, and never think that falling off the wagon does not mean you can catch the next train. Bonus: you may even ride in the first class coach.

Blogger @Dafrastar discusses tips to remain motivated, wearing a monochromatic look with a mini leather skirt, suede boots and a fringed top. Monochromatic look, monochromatic inspiration, suede boots, fringe, fringed top, fringe inspiration, black fashion blogger, African Fashion blogger

On to the outfit we are rocking today! This look was initially shot as a part of my Fall 2017 Trends series, to represent for the fringe and fishnets trends. Never got around to posting it. Welp.

The top: I LOVE it (featured in my sequin skirt lookbook as well). It has the right balance of sass and comfort, and I love that the drama is limited to the sleeves (dunno why, but I dig that shit.) I will likely wear it until it falls apart. That said, I still can’t find a link to it for the life of me, so here are 2 similar options here and here. Sowee!

The skirt: I am also in love with this puppy. It is a simple faux leather A-line mini skirt from Zara, and it can be worn so many ways. Maybe I should feature it in a post?…🤔 I rocked it with a turtleneck, an oversized shirt, a tee, a sheer bodysuit… it can do it all. I even wore it with thick tights and a sweater to work, and upped the casual vibe with some sneakers. I’m telling you, it is a jack of all trades.

The boots: they are the Steve Madden Gorgeous, and they are bae; I spoke about them here, and somehow never got a chance to feature them on the blog until now. They are a size 10 (I wear 10.5) so they are a smidgen tight but manageable. I love them with jeans, they make my legs look a mile long.

The fishnets: pretty ordinary ones, get the job done. I would have bought cuter ones if I had given it more thought.

That’s it for this post folks! Please tell me below; how do you manage to get shit done, or how do you motivate yourself to keep going after you fall? Let’s share tips so we can all crush goals this year!

Until next time,

With Love,

D

Monochromatic slay : Red from head to toe

Hello everyone, HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY! This post is the final installment of my collab series with my boo @dorothy.abigail (Part 1 and 2 respectively here and here), and we are bringing you our take on monochromatic dressing. Please check her out and show her some love!

So I hope your week was LIT!<- I need to stop using this word. I hope you got a lot done, and I hope you are ready for whatever the weekend brings. I, personally, am getting ready for my sweatpants.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

This post will be a funny one, at least to me. I have been wanting to try monochromatic dressing for a while, for the main reason that I am lazy. I ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY abhor matching clothes. It has to be one of my least favorite activities in the entire world- like who enjoys this? I HATE sitting around thinking- will this go with this? Or with this? It is- to me at least- one of the least productive ways to spend my time (generally going outside is a close second, but we can save that argument for another post. I am coming around to it though, but still- I am nobody’s hiking buddy.)

This deep seated hatred is probably why I will always love black, and  will always gravitate towards dresses/jumpsuits/shit that does not require too much work because it already covers top and bottom, or doesn’t really count- like denim. Nobody matches jeans. Okay, fine, jeans need to be matched sometimes too. F*ck.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

Aaaanyways, back to monochromatic dressing. So I had been telling myself I would try it one day, because it could open the door to me wearing more color without trying too hard. I randomly bought these 2 pieces a few months apart, thought they would work for this photoshoot, dug up a pair of red sandals, and was on my way. The one thing I can take really credit for is that I generally have a good sense of proportions in clothes; my mother taught me very early on not to wear a long skirt with a long top, or vice versa, and to always try to mix and match the lengths/ widths of my garments. I mean-  the woman dresses like it’s an Olympic sport, so I usually listen when she doles out sartorial wisdom.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

The reality, though, is that monochromatic dressing is a SCIENCE. Here’s how I know: I bought a book on monochromatic dressing last week, long after these pictures were taken. And then- I read in amazement as it crisply detailed and summarized things I nebulously kind of knew in my mind, but would have not been able to articulate. The explanations on how to craft a balanced monochromatic look are very simple, helpful and to the point. There are also a lot of images of what to do and NOT to do (God knows I needed that :/)

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|Monochromatic deets: Shirt, Zara, sold out: Similar here and here; Skirt, Zara, here, similar-ish here ; Sandals, Steve Madden Realove (discontinued, thank God because the arch sucks and they HURT), similar here; purse here

But for real though- reading this book and actually realizing my look matched some of the advice in it this made me feel like a kid whose teacher gave them an exercise that was too advanced, but they somehow nailed it- and even confused themselves. I was so ready to discover that I had done this all wrong. I mean, fine, there are no rules in fashion, but this book is written by Ashleigh from The Daileigh, so yeah- have you seen her Instagram? Bruh. I spent my $10 to learn how she puts those looks of hers together, aaaaand she told me I was actually not inept at fashion, so -that was money well spent in my eyes (yes, I paid for the book. No, I am not an affiliate of hers, or compensated in any way for my thoughts.)

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|However, I have to admit that my look falls under the most basic execution of monochromatic dressing she touches on; in the book, she shares dressing tips with varying shades of the same color , prints (!), and other things I will opt to stay far, far away from, at least for now. It was a good read and I am happy I bought it, but baby steps, m’kay?

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

So let’s talk about the pieces:

  • The top: Solid. Works like gangbusters with a pencil skirt. Will give you pit stains, as it is satin. Otherwise good purchase.
  • The skirt: Super cute, but only wore it twice and gave it away because it rode up when I walked. I am 5″11, so I was running the risk of experiencing some cheek slip; not a good look.
  • The shoes: Cute but nope. There’s a reason they discontinued them.
  • The purse: OMG so cute!!!!! I lost maybe a pearl or two, but I can’t even tell. It can’t hold much though, so be ready to carry your phone in your hand if it’s larger than a pack of gum. Still a cute bag- it’s like a little pearled minaudière.

Dafrastar wearing a red monochromatic look from Zara (top and skirt) with Steve Madden shoes and a pear encrusted clutch. |red outfit| red outfit inspiration| monochromatic look| summer fashion inspiration|

Overall, for me, monochromatic dressing made for a cute and fun look. It looked and felt sophisticated, and it took me a mere 5 mins to put together. I will hopefully get some new red sandals soon, and will replace my skirt so I can revisit this outfit.

Please take a look below at my boo Dorothy slaying an all burgundy look! She’s to fabulous, I can’t.

In her own words:

I am from Curaçao;  everything on the island is very colorful and that also shows in fashion. Back in the day (some women still dress this way though) a lot of Curaçaoan women would dress in one color, but it would be called ghetto and unfashionable. And nowadays monochromatic outfits are a known trend in fashion.

 

@Dorothy.abigail on Dafrastar.com

@Dorothy.abigail on Dafrastar.com

 

That’s it for today people! Thanks as always for stopping by, and I hope to see you on my next post!

My look was photographed by the amazing @joyofodu in San Francisco.

 

Best,

D

Sheer bodysuit and fringe skirt (outfit under $45)

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This look was shot by @agesimagery in San Francisco.

Coming up with a title for this post was hard as shit (as I am writing this, I actually gave up and will likely revisit the title before I hit “Publish”).

So now that we are past the stage fright of Post 1 and 2, I actually have to come up with content and write funny /insightful things for you guys, which is much scarier. That said, while I am no writer, I actually enjoy putting my thoughts on paper. Here’s to hoping they are as funny to you as they are to me. 🥂

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

So I am bringing you the first look I ever shot (well technically the second one, but the first one may never see the light of day- I was stiff as hell.) This was back in June or July I believe (this blog has been in the works for a while, guys). I genuinely like each piece portrayed here and they are all very affordable- well, IF you can find them.

Random: you know how sometimes, some things are in the making for years and years? Like- how you finally get a chance to bust a move you practiced with your bestie when you were teenagers- but at a party years later?  Or when watching endless episodes of Law & Order SVU actually translates into you understanding some otherwise puzzling legal lingo (Horrible Bosses FTW!) ?

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit, stilettosAnyways: this is outfit could be seen as the clothing version of such events. When I tell you I owned this skirt for a good 2-3 years without ever wearing it… I believe I moved houses with it twice (definitely at least once). I just could not make it work for some reason; it looked great on its own, but when I tucked tops into it,  it looked strange;  leaving them untucked on top of it looked silly too, so it was in that weird limbo and was always passed over when I was looking for something to wear. I almost gave it away to Goodwill once, but the color was just so bright and perfect and awesome that I just couldn’t.

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfitSidenote: BTW I have NO idea where I got it from- I know it was a basic store like Forever 21/ H&M/ Zara but I have ZERO clue where I actually bought it; I am positive it was less than $20 though (I usually remember cost because I am very price sensitive 😀 ) . I googled it to no avail- the only other place  saw it was on Marie from Heartfelt Hunt. That tells us the skirt also exists in Europe, but so do the 3 stores above- so yeah, that does not help at all. I have a similar one listed below though …😬

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfitWhat I am wearing: Bodysuit (here), crop top underneath (Here– I love it, wore it several times already) and skirt (similar here ). Shoes here, got mine from DSW

Anyway- fast forward to last June: I wore it for the first time on vacation, and it somehow worked! I have no idea what was different; maybe it was my body, maybe the skirt just decided to stop being a little b*tch, I dunno- but I was happy with the end result! So fresh from that high (I solidified my resolve to re-start blogging during my vacation), I decided to shoot it as one of my first looks. Aaaaaand… things went downhill from there.

The top I had worn it with on vacation didn’t really do it for me anymore and the crop top I had planned to wear it with made me feel like my tummy was oozing out from all directions (that’s what happens after eating everything in sight for a week, I suppose.)

So as I was frantically looking for an option, I came across this random sheer turtleneck bodysuit I had also owned for a while (since 11/2016, to be  exact) and had never worn for some reason. I threw it on top of the crop top I initially had in mind, and ta-da!

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

The nitty gritty:

The top: Sheer, sexy, and less than $10. Do not sleep on Ali Express… Shopping there takes some skill and patience, but seriously- $9 including shipping? Worth it. I may make a post one day dedicated to my Ali findings.

The skirt: bold, bright, super fun. Its combination with the see thru top definitely made the outfit sassy, but the presence of a crop top underneath the sheer fabric brought it back a bit from risqué territory. Like- you could wear this to dinner with your mom, and she would (likely) not wonder where she went wrong in your upbringing. I also felt like my legs looked really nice, because they were playing peekaboo behind the red strings; I liked that shit.

About that crop top– LOVE. I just realized I have not one, but two looks coming up featuring this little thing. It is $16 on Amazon- I love it under other pieces like here, by itself, with a bralette, whatever.

So let’s tally the costs for a minute: $20 + $9 + $15= $44. Boom. (I cheated and did not include the shoes but everyone has random black shoes in their closet. Plus I hate these.)

Shoes: basic ass black pumps, and they hurt like hell. If I was to re-wear this look though, I would have worn black sandals like these ones. The pumps made it a little too serious.

www.dafrastar.com Fringe skirt and sheer bodysuit, outfit under $45, red skirt, sheer bodysuit, crop top, bralette, red and black outfit

Overall, in spite of being a scramble, the look was pretty fun and well balanced. It was a simple and easy look to shoot for a first timer (not that I am an expert right now- but I was SUPER green then), and I would wear it again to drinks with the girls for example.

That’s it for today’s post! Thanks for visiting my blog; drop me a quick comment and tell me about an outfit years in the making, or a piece that you just can’t seem to make work. Or talk about your dog, that’s cool too.

See ya next time,

D

Look photographed by @agesimagery. Check out his work on Instagram.